


heroism is a full time job

by unicyclehippo



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is a badass, F/F, basically protective custody story, but not on supergirl, lena has a crush on kara, maybe some spelling errors fixed, moved here from tumblr, nothing has changed except capitalisation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-01 00:55:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 60,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8600764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicyclehippo/pseuds/unicyclehippo
Summary: With her brother after her life yet again, Lena Luthor requests the protection of Supergirl until they can figure out who he's hired to kill her and how to bring them down.





	1. Chapter 1

“Miss Luthor.”

Supergirl calls after the woman, striding down the hall away from her. In all honesty, it has been a very long day and she’s ready to go home, curl into her couch, and watch terrible television with her sister. But no. Some jackass had to go and threaten Lena Luthor. Again. So maybe her tone is a touch sharp but Lena Luthor is still walking away from her— _into_ the room from which they only _just_ removed a bomb.

“Miss _Luthor_!”

Lena stops still and Kara jogs, human speed, to catch up with her. It feels wrong to use super speed when she’s with humans or when she’s not under attack. Too much of an advantage. If they wanted to stop, they would, and just because she could stop Lena, or step in her way, or run circles around her doesn’t mean that she _should_.

Kara is so preoccupied thinking of this that she doesn’t notice the look on Lena’s face until she’s right up close and the woman steps even closer.

“My name,” she bites out angry, and Kara steps away from her, eyes wide. She wasn’t expecting her to be so forceful, so intimidating. Lena looks away, squeezes her eyes shut. She tempers herself, shoulders lifting in a calming breath until her anger isn’t as noticeable. Her tone, too, is far more mild. “My name is Lena.”

“Lena _Luthor_.”

Kara hates that she has to say it, hates the way Lena’s jaw works for a second in annoyance, or hurt, or anger, Kara isn’t sure. But Lena has been under attack because of her name, her family, her company, and it’s been far too long of a day for Kara to even attempt tact.

“I am sorry. But it’s the truth. That’s why this is happening.” Lena jerks a nod and Kara moves on. “We didn’t find any sign of anyone breaking in.” She stops when Lena scowls and whirls away again, shoves her way into her own office. It’s been cleared but the wall of windows makes Kara nervous—it’s too open, too exposed, and she doesn’t like it. But Lena is obviously on the trail of something and so Kara goes with her. She keeps an eye on the neighbouring buildings when she asks, “Does that mean something to you?”

“Of course it does. You’re not a detective in your day job, are you? I certainly hope you’re not.” She throws the comment at Kara like a barb, and though Kara tries not to let it stick, it does sting for a second. “It means, _Supergirl,_ ” and her title has never sounded that barbed before either, “that either they used seriously impressive tech, which,” she looks up from the desk drawer she’s searching through and waves a hand around her office, “can only have come from one company. Or,” and here she pauses, chews at the inside of her lip for a moment. When she continues, there is no clear sign of the hesitation but Kara still fancies that she can hear it. “Or it means that whoever is trying to kill me has access to my office.”

“Can we get a list of who that might be?”

“I—” Lena sighs. Nods. “Yes, that’s fine. After all. If we can’t trust Supergirl, who can we trust?”

“You don’t sound like you believe that.”

“Now you’re getting the hang of detective work.” Lena closes her desk drawer. Everything she needs packed into her purse, she watches Kara carefully for a long minute. “So. What now?”

“What…now?”

“Well, I’m not going to leave my company just because someone wants to kill me—”

“Do not downplay this, Miss Luthor, they don’t just want to kill you, they very nearly succeeded in it today,” Kara snaps.

Everything feels like too much, too near the surface today—Cat is gone and there were a series of set fires downtown that she had to take care of in her lunch break and Snapper is being just _awful_ and it’s all so _much_ , especially with this constant vendetta against Lena—but it all becomes so, so much worse in the instant when Kara steps forward to try and impress her point on Lena, that she is in actual _danger_ , and she sees Lena flinch away.

Kara stops still. Her heart sinks right down into her boots and in no time at all she has taken two big steps backward and uncrossed her arms, holding them open and relaxed down at her sides.

“I apologise, Miss—Lena.”

“Just Lena will be fine, thank you,” she drawls, and she even manages a smile. “And don’t be. I’m sorry for needling you,” she says on the end of a sigh and lifts a hand to rub at her eyebrow. “I’m just…on edge. My brother keeps trying to kill me and on top of running a company, it can just get a little…”

“Tedious?” Kara suggests, and when Lena’s smile grows into something that actually looks _real_ , Kara’s heart shoots so fast back up into her chest—and then into her throat and it hurts to swallow around it and she can feel her pulse thudding right through her body for one dizzying moment. Kara looks down to her boots. _Stupid_. “I’m sorry, that was inappropriate, I’m sure this is horrible, I don’t know why I,”

“Please,” Lena laughs, waving the comment and Kara’s apology away. “It was funny. And god knows I need to laugh at this instead of,” she rolls her eyes, shakes her head. “It’s nice to laugh. That’s all.” Lena moves back around her desk, closer to Kara. She sits herself on the edge of the table and tilts her head, appraising. “You didn’t answer my question. What are we going to do about this?”

Kara nods. “The device has been removed. It’s going to a lab where we will try and narrow down where it was made and by whom.”

“And me?” Lena asks. She turns a little, adjusts some of the devices on her desk. Kara can hear the way Lena’s heart starts to slam in her chest and she wants to smack her own head for being an idiot. 

_Stupid_ , she reprimands herself. Again. _Of course she’s scared_.

“I’m not sure. What the best course of action would be,” she clarifies when Lena glances her way. “I—what would make you most comfortable?”

“Not dying would be a nice start.”

“We’re going to do everything in our power to make sure that you’re safe,” Kara insists, and strangely, it makes Lena laugh.

“You’re so earnest. You and your cousin both.” She tilts her head, smiles at Kara. “You have less of Superman’s self righteousness though. It’s nice.”

“Um. Thank you?”

“Mhm.” Lena’s smirk grows and Kara finds herself fidgeting with the edge of her cape, trying to remember what it was that she was telling her. “Your plan to keep me safe?”

“Right. Yes. We can assign some agents to you—”

“I want you.”

“Excuse me?” Kara clears her throat, mortified when her question comes out a touch too high pitched. “Miss— _Lena,”_ she corrects herself when Lena smiles a warning smile. “I have a job, saving the city,”

“I’m part of this city now, am I not? I know I’m not the best part of the city or its people, but I am the one in the most danger. And the one who is going to inadvertently _bring_ the most danger so,” she shrugs. “It makes sense to me that you should stick with me.”

“I—” Kara clicks on her comms, turns away sharply. “Did you hear that?” she asks.

“Yep.”

“And?”

“She’s got a point. Also,” Winn strives for casual, “can you ask her about her oscillators?”

“Sure—wait. Why?”

“Uh, professional interest?”

“No, Agent, I am not going to ask that.” Kara darts nervous eyes over to Lena, who leans casually against her desk and does nothing to pretend that she’s not listening in on Kara’s side of the conversation. “Can you get Agent Danvers on the line, please?” She doesn’t think she imagines the way Lena straightens a little, eyes narrow curiously at her.

Kara only has to wait for a moment before her comms click a little in her ear and her sister’s voice reaches her.

“On line, Supergirl. What can I do for you?”

“Have you been appraised of the situation?” It’s a serious situation, so she doesn’t grin, but it _is_ kind of cool that she gets to talk like a secret agent. Alex must know what she’s thinking because she coughs to hide a laugh.

“I have. It’s a good idea. For you to stay with her.”

“I agree, of course,” it is a good idea after all, and she doesn’t want her to be attacked in her apartment and Kara is bulletproof so that’s decent protection right there if they come after her again. “But what about…” She trails off and Alex sighs.

“Take a sick day?”

“I literally just started.”

“Sorry, Supergirl. At the very least, I think you should bring Miss Luthor into the med site so we can check her over. While they’re doing that, you and I can come up with a better plan. Sound alright?”

“Yeah. Yes, thank you, agent.”

“See you soon, Supergirl.”

Kara clicks the comms off and turns back to Lena, who lifts her eyebrows expectantly.

“So?”

“How do you feel about flying?”

Lena hesitates. “I know it would be quicker but,”

“We can walk? If you want?” Kara offers, and Lena is nodding before she can finish her sentence. 

“I would like that, yes.”

“I don’t think you should drive, we would have to check all your drivers and cars for more devices but it isn’t a long walk,”

“Walking will be fine, Supergirl, thank you.”

* * *

“So. She wants you to protect her.”

“Mhm.” Kara swings her feet, heels drumming against the cupboards. She munches down on the chocolate bar Alex handed her and stares hopelessly down at the tiled floor. “She _is_ in a lot of danger.”

“She is.”

“And I can’t just _ignore_ that.”

“No, you can’t.”

“But my _job_ ,” Kara whines, and Alex leans against her and pats her knee.

“It’s tough being a hero,” she laments, and Kara glares down at her, unsure if she’s being sarcastic or not. Alex pats her knee again and gives no indication one way or the other. “You said Snapper says you’re only good for your connection to Lena anyway, right?”

“You didn’t have to remind me,” Kara grumbles, “but yes. He said that.”

“So… Tell him that you’re going to get the scoop on what is happening and hang around her, see what you can turn up.”

“Like an assignment.”

“Exactly.”

“He’ll be thrilled.” Kara chomps viciously into the last of her chocolate. “It’s not like he wants me around. He doesn’t even like my ponytail.”

“You really do need to use more conditioner.”

“Oh sorry that I can’t maintain perfect hair volume after _flying around half the day.”_ Kara shoots Alex a dirty look—Alex just smiles and pats her knee again—and then jumps down from the countertop. She pushes the chocolate wrapper into Alex’s hand. “I’ll call him.”

“Um? Throw your own trash out!”

“Nope, you touched it last. Bye!” With a dash of superspeed, Kara leaves her there, and she has to slow and catch herself before she runs right into Lena. As it is, her momentum carries her further than she expected and she pulls Lena into a hug rather than bowling her right over. As soon as she’s steady, she puts the woman back on her feet and steps away, flushing. “Sorry. Didn’t see you there.”

“So it would appear.” Lena brushes down her blazer, peers curiously into the break room. “You’re quite chummy with Agent Danvers.”

“Yeah she’s, uh,” Kara hesitates. “A very good agent.”

“Mm. So what’s the verdict?” Kara blinks. “On my protection detail?”

“Oh! Well, I have to make a call but, if it goes well…me.” Kara doesn’t miss the way Lena sighs, very slightly, and the tight grip she has on her purse eases. It makes her all the more determined to actually win one over Snapper and _make_ him give her what she wants. “Give me a minute?” she asks and Lena nods. 

Kara zooms away to the furthest corner of the building from Lena and it’s all done and dusted in under a minute. Snapper, as it turns out, couldn’t care less what Kara does. When she promises him an article on Lena and the goings-on at L-Corp, he grunts and hangs up.

Kara fights the urge to crush her phone—“ _it’s not him, it’s not worth it, it’s not him”—_ and returns to Lena. “Okay! Where to?”

“My apartment.”

“Supergirl,” Alex calls out as Kara walks Lena toward the exit. “Miss Luthor. Sorry to hear you’re under attack. Again.”

“It’s not ideal.” Lena shrugs. “I can take care of myself though. Obviously.”

“I remember thinking that.” Alex is _grinning_ at Lena and Kara widens her eyes at her, hopefully not too noticeably. “Right. We have agents at your apartment right now. Sorry for the intrusion but we wanted to get you somewhere you felt safe and secure as soon as possible.”

“That’s very thoughtful.”

“Supergirl will accompany you home and ensure your safety until we can bring this under control. In the event that we need her,” Alex hands Lena a small black burner phone. “There is one number programmed in here, it will get you on the line with someone who can help. Agents will be sent to your location and take over for Supergirl. They will be the best we have, I promise you,” she assures Lena, who nods.

“That seems acceptable.”

“Glad you think so,” Alex says, in a tone that Kara knows means she doesn’t _really_ care if Lena agrees. “Supergirl?”

“Regular check-in’s, I know.” She turns to Lena. “How do you feel about flying now?”

“Honestly? I’m so exhausted you could tell me that you had to dismember me first and I think I would be fine with it.” She laughs when Kara pales, and grips her purse firmly in both hands. “Up, up, and away, Supergirl.”


	2. Chapter 2

It’s not often that she can be made to feel uncomfortable or silly in her supersuit—she’s _Supergirl_ in this suit, after all—but she manages to do it to herself when she lowers Lena down onto her balcony. The woman finds her feet, steps away, and opens her eyes. When she realises where they are, she sighs.

“Supergirl, I do not have a key for my balcony door. You’ll have to take us down to the front and come up the elevator. Like a normal person.”

“Oh.” Kara pucks at the fabric covering her hands and nods. “Right. Can I, I’m going to pick you up again,” she tells Lena with a hint of a question, waiting until she nods for Kara to take her into her arms again.

It’s telling of how tired she is that for a split second she thinks about diving backwards off the balcony—it’s her favourite thing to do when she’s jumping off the DEO exit, one of her all time favourite moves actually because it makes Alex _grumble_ every time—and then she remembers her passenger and, thankfully, she just floats them both gently down to the front door.

“Miss Luthor!” the doorman greets, looking a touch awed. “And Supergirl! Is everything alright?”

Kara says nothing and Lena seems to appreciate that. She steps away from Supergirl, toward the doorman. “Everything is just fine,” she tells him with a smile. “An unfortunate accident with my car.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Lucky Supergirl was there!”

“Indeed. Very lucky,” Lena agrees quietly, and when she glances back over her shoulder Kara can see the relief in her eyes, the _thank you_ in the very slight smile she gives her. It’s been some time since the ‘accident’ but Kara knows how adrenaline and fear can wrap you up and make it hard to do anything, let alone think of thanking anyone. She nods to her and Lena turns away sharply. “Lucas, Supergirl will be my guest, perhaps for the week. I trust you will be discreet?”

“Of course, Miss Luthor.” He opens the door for them and signs them into the book. “Pleasure to meet you, Supergirl.”

“Likewise. Lucas, was it?”

“Yes, ma’am. Lucas Jordan.”

Kara holds out her hand for him to shake and she folds her fingers gently over his when she feels him shake slightly. “You look really familiar,” she says quietly, and it takes her a minute to place his face but when she does, she beams at him. “Do you have a son? Hugo? A firefighter?”

“I—yes!” he grins, nodding furiously. “He is! I can’t believe that you know that!”

“You look like him. Or, he looks like you, I guess,” Kara laughs. He pumps her hand enthusiastically a few more times, grinning nearly from ear to ear, and Kara only remembers that Lena is there when the elevator dings and she clears her throat softy. “I’m sorry, I need,”

“Of course!” He waves them both into the elevator and Kara waves at him until the doors close. She can’t help but see through the door, and then the floor as they start to climb, that he lifts his chin proudly at his post and straightens his collar. Kara grins and sinks to the side, leans against the wall of the elevator. That’s one of her favourite parts of this job—getting to see the real faces of the city, meet the families she works so hard to protect. And she can’t deny it feels wonderful when they’re excited to see her too.

“Tired, Supergirl?”

Kara glances across at her elevator mate, takes a little too long to answer the question when she’s distracted by the dark eyes watching her and the way she desperately wants to yawn now.

“No.” Lena’s lips twitch and Kara knows that her lie wasn’t convincing. She sighs. “A little. Gases aren’t my favourite things to deal with. They make me cough.”

“I can get you a drink when we get inside,” Lena offers.

“That would be nice.”

“It really is the least I can do.”

The elevator slides open and Lena steps out first, strides away down the hall. It’s becoming something of a habit with them, Kara thinks—Lena leaving, Kara following. It only becomes a bad thing this time when they reach the door and Lena goes to unlock it. Kara realises the danger in that a touch too late and, with no time to warn Lena, she pushes forward with a touch to super speed to stop her, catching her hand before she can touch anything.

Lena _rips_ her hand out of Kara’s and turns to glare at her. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“Sorry. I forgot,” she gestures to the door. “I’d rather you didn’t open it until I make sure that everything is safe.”

Lena closes her eyes and nods. “Of course. Please.” She steps away and gives Kara the space to turn, scan the apartment. The DEO agents have left, but Kara can make out the tell-tale metallic signature of one of their equipment boxes on the dining room table, just where they told her it would be. So that’s a good sign.

She double checks the door mechanism—the lock, _and_ the hinges because Alex has told her on more than one occasion that super villains are sneaky and don’t play fair and Lex Luthor is one of the sneakiest and most super of villains and she won’t underestimate him or the people he might hire to do his dirty work for him. But it all looks fine, and so Kara takes the key from Lexa and opens the door for her. Just in case.

“I thought you said that your agents already checked my apartment.”

“They did.” Kara leads her in. Lena points to the hallway closet and Kara checks it, nods.

“Shall I hang up your cape, Supergirl?” Lena teases from inside the closet and Kara laughs.

“Thank you, no.” Kara steps a tiny bit further into the apartment, not wanting to go too far without permission. She catalogues every inch of the space, checking every nook and cranny. “I apologise for the intrusion, I just need to know the layout to protect you. And I’ll feel better having checked for myself,” she explains when Lena steps past her and into the kitchen.

“I’ll feel better too. Human foibles and all,” she smiles. “Don’t want them to have missed anything.”

“They’re very, very good at their job.”

“It _is_ a little disconcerting to know they’ve been in my apartment. I can’t see any sign of it at all,” she admits to Kara, who nods. Alex does that to her all the time—she can’t imagine how it might feel for a stranger to do it. Terrifying, probably. On top of everything else. Kara looks carefully at the other woman, looking for some sign that this is getting to her. “Except for that, of course.” Lena nods to the box on the table. “Do I get to know what it is? Or is that classified?”

“It’s just some equipment for me. Some surveillance for me to set up and an upgrade for my comms.” Kara shrugs. There’s some other stuff in what Alex has dubbed ‘The Lunchbox’ but she isn’t sure that Lena Luthor of all people should know about her yellow sun portable charger, as Winn calls it—no matter that Kara can’t shake her instant, insistent feeling that Lena can be trusted, it’s information that needn’t go further than the DEO. She carries the box to the smaller of two couches in the next room. Setting it down at one end to claim the couch as hers, Kara zips back to the kitchen to join Lena.

She doesn’t miss the disappointment that crosses the woman’s face and Kara thinks maybe that Lena was looking for some kind of distraction. Which is totally understandable.

“About that drink,” she hints, and Lena nods.

“Of course, Supergirl.” Lena pulls two bottles of water from a fridge that, as far as Kara can tell, is _just_ intended to hold many, many bottles of water. “What?”

“No, nothing. I’ve just never seen someone with a water fridge before.”

“Oh.” Lena snorts, kicks the fridge door closed. “We’re working on a plastic recycling model and I’ve got a miniature version here. Otherwise I wouldn’t have them. Terrible for the environment, you know.” Kara nods. “I’m trying to find ways to rework the structure of the plastic so that it can be recycled fully. Some way to destabilise it and reshape it.”

“That’s amazing. How is it going?”

Lena cracks open her bottle, grimaces at Kara. “Honestly? Not well. But it’s worth it, to keep trying.” She drinks slowly. Then, quietly, she says, “If I can get L-Corp running as it should, if I can get us on track, I know we can make a difference. Actually help to save this planet instead of running it to ruin. I know I’m a Luthor and in your eyes I may not deserve saving but I truly, _truly_ believe that L-Corp is something that deserves protecting, Supergirl.”

Kara blinks. “What?”

“I see I will have to convince you. I’m happy to talk to you more about what we want to accomp—“

“No, Lena, _no_ , I know L-Corp is amazing. I’ve read all your announcements. I mean, you deserve saving.” Kara fixes her with a steady look, even when her stomach twists unpleasantly. How can Lena think she doesn’t?

“All of them?” Lena’s lips curve in a pleased smile. “I’m flattered, Supergirl.”

It’s deflection, pure and simple, and maybe she shouldn’t but Kara allows it. “You’re dedicated to improving lives in National City and abroad. It’s inspiring. Of course I’ve read them.” Lena’s smile grows and she doesn’t look away from Kara as she nervously twists her own bottle open. “Thank you. For the drink.”

“I have pretty much anything else you could want. I don’t suppose take out is an option?”

“Not unless they want to be tackled by plain clothed secret agents.”

“If you pay them enough, people will typically do anything,” Lena tells her, and her eyes glitter just so—Kara can’t tell if the comment is intended to be dark or flirtatious. Either option makes her a little nervous—okay, one makes her a little _more_ nervous than the other—and she gulps down a few mouthfuls of her water. “How about you set up your surveillance,” she suggests, “and I’ll set up the guest room for you.”

“That’s unnecessary.”

“What, aliens don’t sleep?”

Kara shrugs. “I do but I won’t need to while I’m here.”

“You don’t need to sleep for _days_?” Lena shakes her head. “What I would give for _that_ power.”

They must realise the history of that statement—what her brother had done to uncover those secrets, that power, the dark turns he had taken and what she is, hypothetically, capable of—because Lena pales and Kara tries not to flinch. She doesn’t—could never—blame this woman for the crimes of her brother. But Kal had loved Lex as a brother, once upon a time, and his betrayal had cut so deep she can see the effect of it even now.

“I didn’t mean,”

“I know,” Kara says gently, and Lena tilts her head very slightly, looks at her curiously. “Lena, I,” she sighs. “I do believe you. I know what it can be like to be seen for your family and not for your self.”

“Yes, and what a curse it must be to be the cousin of the most beloved man in America.”

Kara closes her mouth with a click of teeth and nods. “You’re right,” she admits, a little stiff. “I can’t understand what you’ve gone through. I apologise. But I will protect you, please know that. If you’ll excuse me?” She gestures to the box of equipment she has to set up and Lena nods.

* * *

“Delivery,” a familiar voice calls out and raps a jaunty tune on the front door. Kara controls herself, stops herself from dashing full speed over, but she can distinctly feel that she’s vibrating a little when she opens the door. 

“Hi! _Rao_ , I _love_  you,” she says down to the pizza Alex carries and she lifts six from Alex’s hands and reaches past her to take the four Lucas is holding too. 

“Nice to see you too, Supergirl,” Alex drawls, and she turns to nod a thank you to the doorman, who nearly salutes the both of them before he returns to the elevator. Alex steps into the apartment and makes sure the locks—not a half bad security set up, actually—are all engaged. “How’s it going?”

“Well,” Kara throws her a confused look, “it’s only been two hours. It’s fine?”

“I feel very well protected.” Lena waves a hand to her large television, which has been broken into six small screens showing various viewpoints around her apartment. “Thank you for the lending of your superhero.”

“I’m not _her_  hero,” Kara scoffs. Alex rolls her eyes. If she manages to get through the week without revealing herself as Kara Danvers to Lena, Alex will count that as a bonafide miracle. 

“A word, Supergirl?” 

Kara leads her into the kitchen, scanning for the plates and cups. “What’s up?”

“Do _not_  let her know who you are,” is Alex’s opening statement. Kara scoffs. “I am _serious_ , Supergirl. I know that you trust her and I trust you about that. I believe she’s not like her brother. But her brother _is_ coming after her and you’re in this mess now too and if he figures it out,”

“I’ll be in danger. Kal too.”

“Exactly.”

“I know.” Kara turns, leans back against the kitchen counter. “What? You thought I didn’t consider that?” Alex makes a non-committal sound that, in the end, means _yes_  and Kara rolls her eyes. “I know you think I could maybe be more careful with my identity,”

“That’s exactly what I think,”

“But I can keep it a secret for a week. And the sooner you figure out who is targeting Lena, the sooner I leave, right? That should be some incentive for you.” Kara steps forward, lays her hands on Alex’s shoulders. “You don’t have to worry about me so much. I’m a hero, remember?”

“You’re getting a really big head. You know that right?“

“Thank you for the pizza,” Kara says, herding Alex toward the front door.

“Sure. Hey, save some for Lena, okay?”

“You might have that the wrong way round, Agent Danvers,” Lena mumbles, half a pizza in front of her. She wipes at her mouth with a paper napkin. “Thank you for coming to check on us. I don’t suppose…”

“No update as of yet, ma’am. I just wanted to check that the setup went without a hitch. And,” Alex glances over to the television again, “clearly it did so…Supergirl, you can call me at any time. And every two hours at least.”

“Of course, Agent Danvers.” Kara glances to the door and Alex takes the hint. Kara stands at the door and watches her all the way down to the carpark and follows her car out for a short while before blinking herself back into Lena’s living room. Her nose twitches happily and she takes one pizza and then, seeing Lena’s curious but otherwise blank look, Kara takes a second pizza. 

“You can eat here, if you want.” Lena gestures to the other end of the table, entirely clear of the papers she has stacked around herself. “You don’t have to, of course.”

Kara is about to excuse herself to sit and watch the screens for any unusual moment, but Lena glances to the wall of windows and Kara is reminded _again_ that this woman is only human. Very good at hiding her fear, so good that Kara keeps forgetting, but human nonetheless. 

She nods and smiles and takes a seat. “What are you working on?”

“Just an email to a friend. She’s supposed to be writing an article on what happened at L-Corp today and I know,” Lena explains, “I know guests are probably not encouraged but she’s nice and I owe her. I know that Clark Kent wouldn’t have written such a nice article about me if it weren’t for her,” she laughs, crinkling her nose a little. “And trust me, she couldn’t hurt a fly.”

Kara does her best not to choke on her pizza, eats quickly so she doesn’t have to respond to Lena straight away. Eventually, she says, “I’ll see what I can do,” and the hopeful smile she gets in return is worth what she is sure is going to be a huge headache. 


	3. Chapter 3

“I’m not doing anything nefarious, you know,” Lena sighs from inside her home office, and the comment—unexpected, given that Kara hasn’t said anything to her or interrupted her at all—makes Kara jump. She’s been loitering outside the study for some time, just listening to Lena type and occasionally scanning the apartment and the sky above. Kara frowns at the closed door—maybe it was a test? “I can see your shadow, Supergirl.”

“Oh.” Kara looks down to her feet, sees how her shadow stretches underneath the door. “I’m sorry.”

She steps to the side, makes sure that her shadow hits the wall instead, and leans there. 

She wishes she were home with Alex. 

_Rao_ , that sounds so cruel. It’s not that she would abandon Lena to the will of her brother, she _wouldn’t_. But it’s hard being Supergirl non-stop and she wants to curl up next to her big sister and tell her how relieved she is that Alex is Alex and not a terrifying man hell-bent on ridding the world of aliens. 

Kara blinks up through the roof, makes landmarks out of the nearby buildings, checks that nothing is out of place. 

So intent is she, that she nearly misses Lena’s quiet footsteps and the brush of the door opening over carpet. 

“Can I assume that you are protecting me, not spying on me?” Lena asks her, and Kara uncrosses her arms when she pushes away from the wall. 

“Of course?” She frowns, confused. “I have no agenda, Miss Luthor—Lena, I’m sorry,” she corrects herself when Lena looks down. “I just want to make sure you are safe.”

“How noble.” Lena tilts her head in a clear invitation and Kara slips into the room. It’s dark, only lit by one lamp on the desk. 

“You should have more lights on.”

“Terrible for my eyesight, I know.”

“No, because this lamp lets people know where you’re sitting,” Kara tells her, and the curtains are drawn but it still makes her itch. “I would prefer it if you would work in the centre of your apartment. Away from the windows.”

“You certainly know how to make a girl feel safe,” Lena says after a short moment. 

Kara grimaces, nods. “I’m sorry. Usually I do a lot better but this is,” she remembers how the gas from the first bomb had itched in her chest, and how the shrapnel from the second actually felt hot and sharp. It hadn’t hurt her, but she doesn’t like that it had come anywhere close. “He’s dangerous.”

Lena sighs and reaches over, clicks off her lamp.

Blinking to adjust her eyes to the dark, Kara takes a moment to examine the other woman. She doubts that Lena knows Kara can see better in the dark than humans—if she did, Kara highly doubts that she would let her shoulders slump like that, doubts that she would let her hand tremble when she strokes over one eyebrow, taking a moment to gather herself. 

“The work can wait,” Lena says, and her voice is as unaffected as ever by the fear Kara can see now in the dark. “After all, I can’t work if I’m dead, can I?”

Kara reaches back immediately to rap her knuckles against the desk. “Let’s not talk like that. You’re gonna be just fine,” she insists, and Lena laughs. 

“Now _there_  is the Supergirl spirit I’ve been waiting for. I was beginning to think I was one of the few who didn’t get to see it.”

It’s the second comment like that Lena has made in one evening, and Kara begins to suspect it’s less of an act, less of her _pretending_  to assume her brothers guilt, and more real than Kara wants to believe. It is one thing, she knows, to shoulder the hopes and dreams of a world. It is quite another to take on the terrible crimes a world has heaped onto you. 

She thinks about the way Lena looks at her when she’s Kara, warm and calculating, yes, but _hopeful_. The surprise she had seen when Kara told her she understood what it was like to want to escape a name. 

She makes sure that Lena can hear her when she approaches and comes to a stop an arms length from her. 

“Lena, I don’t… I can’t begin to imagine how frightening this must be,”

“Oh and I get a speech too,” she laughs, turning to exit her office and step into the hall. Kara follows doggedly. Lena might not want to hear it, but she deserves to. Only, Lena moves _fast_  when she wants to and she’s at the door of her bedroom when Kara calls after her. 

“You aren’t your brother.” Lena freezes. “You deserve my protection, you deserve my respect, and you have my trust. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be,” she insists. Lena turns, just a little, to watch Kara over her shoulder and Kara fidgets with her hands for a moment, unsure whether crossing them over her chest is powerful and reassuring, or whether it would seem distant and unyielding. Lena turns a little more, watches her closely, and Kara has to turn away. “Whatever was between Lex Luthor and Superman, it doesn’t have to be between us.”

“You are naive if you think we aren’t already tainted by it.”

Kara bites at her lip. Lena’s tone is dark and angry, but it’s a helpless kind of angry. The anger of a woman who is not free.

“And you underestimate me,” Kara tells her, very quietly, “if you think that I will not make my own choices. As you are not just his sister, I am not just Superman’s cousin. We are our own people, Lena Luthor.” She emphasises the name and turns, her family crest fully visible. 

When Lena glances down to it, she thinks the woman understands. 

That Kara agrees with her. They are who they are. They have their own histories. But they can be _more_ than that. 

Lena drums her fingers against the doorframe for a short time. Then, she smiles. “If you say so, Supergirl.”

* * *

“For the love of—do you _ever_  stop working?” Kara demands, striding into Lena’s bedroom. She would apologise for not knocking, but Lena has been typing away at what Kara thinks is her third laptop—she doesn’t carry her computer with her, why would she, she’s a mega-rich CEO, just have a brand new computer waiting for her in any room she might go into! “How am I supposed to look after you if you don’t look after yourself!”

Lena gapes over at her. “Excuse me?”

“You need to sleep! Humans need sleep!” Kara refrains from stamping her foot but _R_ _ao_ , she _wants_  to. This woman is _impossible_. “It is two in the morning!”

“And why are you so irate? I thought Kryptonians didn’t need sleep.”

“I am _irate_ ,” Kara grumbles, and she slips the computer from Lena’s hands, ignoring her protests, “because you are my charge and I’m not going to lose you to exhaustion.” She finds a place for it on a chest of drawers and sets it down, turning back to frown at her charge. 

“You’re a body guard, not a babysitter, Supergirl-”

“I will be both if I have to be.” Kara zips over and forcefully pulls the blanket up to around Lena’s shoulders. “Now _sleep_.”

“Tell me, are you always this bossy in bed?” Kara just frowns at her until Lena relents, fluffs one of her pillows behind her head. “I’m surprised, I thought that would get _some_  reaction.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “You’ll have to try harder than that. I have a si—” Damn it. Think of a cover. “I don’t just watch PG13 movies, you know.” Nice. Very smooth.

“Oh? Do share.” 

It’s the tease in her voice that makes Kara duck her head and laugh. This time she _does_  flush a little.

“That’s not what I meant, Miss Lu—Lena.”

“A pity.” Lena sighs, rolls onto her side. Fingers playing over the edge of her sheets, she stares over at the hero in her bedroom before asking, “Are you going to stand there all night?”

“It’s morning,” Kara reminds her. “And no. Just until you go to sleep.”

“You’re welcome to sleep here, if you like. I’m very vulnerable and human and there are so many windows. I would feel so much safer if you slept here.”

“I didn’t realise that it was bothering you. The agents confirmed it was bulletproof.” Kara thinks back at the email she had read and she’s sure of it, definitely bulletproof. She thinks it’s a good idea to get the rest of the apartment fitted out with the same, but she’ll bring that up another time. Mentioning it now will just force Lena’s computer or phone back into her hand, which Kara does _not_ want. “I’m sorry. I’ll stay right here with you,” Kara promises her, nodding firmly. “You have nothing to be afraid of. I’ll be awake the whole time.”

Lena stares at her for a long minute, and then she closes her eyes, shakes her head. “Incredible,” she whispers, so quietly Kara knows that she didn’t mean it for her, so she pretends she didn’t hear it. 

“Goodnight, Lena,” Kara murmurs a short while later, when Lena’s breathing slows and steadies and her heartbeat drops into a soothing calm pace. Kara cocks her head, memorises the rhythm so she’ll know if anything disturbs Lena. When she sits, leans back against the wall and hugs her knees to her chest, she scans the skyline quickly but her eyes can’t help but return to Lena. The woman is sleeping, but not peacefully, and Kara wishes there were something she could do for her. 

She catches a flailing hand, scoots closer to the bed when Lena _grips_  onto her. 

“Dream sweet dreams,” Kara wishes for her, and takes up her vigil in earnest. 


	4. Chapter 4

“This is just too much.”

Lena looks up from where she’s hunched over an enormous mug and sends Kara a filthy glare. Her hands curl protectively around it. “Don’t you dare take this away.”

“Fine. But you have to at least eat _something_.”

“Breakfast makes me ill.”

“Cereal?” Kara moves on when Lena grimaces. “Fruit? Yoghurt? Dry toast?”

“Dry toast? Really? Oh, I see,” Lena mutters, “you’re in _league_  with the assassins.” It’s such a ridiculous suggestion that Kara snorts, and it makes Lena grin tiredly down into her cup. “I’ll eat later," she reassures her with a faint nod and a wave of her hand, "but please, I heard your stomach all the way from my room. Help yourself.”

“I can pick up something later,” Kara hurries to tell her. Lena raises her eyebrows, sips from her coffee, and by the time she places it down again, Kara’s stomach has grumbled twice. “I am so sorry,” she whispers, and begins to tug anything she can find from the fridge which is, horrifically, almost empty. There is some cold pizza left over in a rare show of restraint from Kara last night, and she takes all of it. “I am so sorry,” she says again, and she turns away as she starts to eat.

“What are you apologising for?”

Kara works to swallow the enormous mouthful she’d bitten and coughs when it gets stuck. She holds up a finger for Lena to wait, who laughs again down into her mug. 

“Eating a lot? My—some people get annoyed.”

“Why ever would they be annoyed? I gather your powers necessitate a high metabolism?” Kara nods. “Then please, eat as much as you want. I need you strong, after all.” She rubs at her eyes and yawns. “There are biscuits in the cupboard.” She laughs when Kara jumps out of her seat and stumbles over her cape in her rush to get them. 

“What?” Kara asks when she sees Lena staring at her 

“No, no it’s just…” She sighs, a little sound that is almost wondrous. “If i were you, I would fly everywhere. It must be incredible.”

For a minute, there is just the sound of the packet crinkling in Kara’s hands. She carries it back to her seat and fiddles with the corner of the table, grimaces and holds up the sliver of granite she breaks off. Lena shrugs and Kara hesitates for a minute before she crumbles it in her hand and wipes away the dust on her thigh. 

“I’m, I usually just try to be normal,” Kara admits. She can feel the way she wants to curl in, how bare her face feels without her glasses, and she props her hands on her hips so she looks and feels more like Supergirl than Kara. “But you’re right. Flying is really fun.”

“Of course you must be used to it,”

“Sometimes I forget,” Kara blurts out, and Lena frowns at her, confused. “Well, because, back on Krypton none of us could fly. We didn’t have these powers.”

“Oh?”

“So, sometimes I forget.” She sits, drapes her cape over her lap. “Are you sure you don’t want some pizza?”

Lena grimaces. “Absolutely not.”

“More for me! Thanks!” When her phone rings, Kara glances at the screen quickly and puts it to her ear. “Morning, Alex.”

Instantly, she knows that the casual greeting was the wrong move because Lena busies herself with pouring another cup of coffee and then stands very still, pretending that she isn’t eavesdropping. Kara’s familiar enough with that brand of listening—Winn likes to think he’s the master of it—so she picks her words carefully. 

“ _H_ _ow’s it going_?”

“There was no trouble last night, all the cameras are still running just fine and I did a sweep this morning when Miss Luthor woke up.” Lena shifts a little. Kara guesses she’d missed that, but she’d done it so that lena could have her shower in peace. And because it was necessary. “Any news on your end?”

“ _W_ _e traced the gas to a manufacturer. Three guesses where they’re based_.”

“Paris.”

“ _S_ _upergirl_ ,” Alex sighs. Kara can hear her trying not to grin, though. 

“Australia.”

“ _R_ _eally? Come on_.”

Kara laughs. “Metropolis?”

“ _D_ _ing ding ding, third time’s the charm_.” Kara picks up the sound of her typing for a minute, then the triumphant sound of her sister finding a lead. “ _I_ _’m gonna give Sawyers a call, swing down to the industrial sector. Seems like there’s a subsidiary of the company right here in National City. Worth a look, don't you think?”_

_“_ Sounds good.” She hunches her shoulders a little, speaks quietly. “Be careful, okay? I know she has your back but still.”

“ _O_ _f course. You too.”_

Kara keeps her phone at her ear for a second longer before she lays it facedown on the counter. “So, they have a possible lead on the guy who is making the bombs which they’re chasing down now.” Lena nods. “And I’m guessing I can’t get you to skip a day from work?”

“No rest for the wicked, I’m afraid. or,” she smirks, “for the righteous.” She sets down her mug in the sink, drops a wink Kara’s way. “It’s up to you to figure out which I am.”

“Righteous,” Kara replies instantly, a little furrow in her brow. “I—I  _told_  you I know you’re not bad, did you forget?” Lena just shakes her head and sets off for her bedroom, closes the door behind her. She can pick out the sound of rustling, Lena picking out her outfit for the day, no doubt, and Kara sends off a quick text to Winn to see how her backup suit is coming along. Because the suit is _great_ , it is, but she would really like to change out of it. Maybe clean up a little. And she needs to wash her hair—the whole disguise thing falls flat if she ties up her hair like Kara Danvers. 

— _just wait til you see it kara_  
—it’s worth it trust me  
—an agent has agreed to bring it to L Corp for you  


* * *

“I don’t suppose you have a key for your office balcony, do you?” Kara asks hopefully. She can see the crowd of reporters bundled around the entrance to the building and she doesn’t want to put Lena through that. Or have to come up with an excuse for Snapper why she was the only reporter _not_  to get a photo of the CEO that morning. Or risk that someone might be among that crowd waiting to strike.

“I can text my assistant to unlock it.” Lena must have had the same ideas. Or, the one about the attacker anyway. Certainly not about Kara Danvers taking a photo of her. 

“You’re braver than I am,” Kara laughs when Lena pulls her phone from her bag and begins to text. “I never dare to use my phone when I’m flying, I’m too afraid of dropping it.”

“You have superspeed. I trust you’ll catch it if need be.” Lena shrugs, slips it back into its pocket. “Okay, she’ll unlock it as soon as she gets there. You can take us down to wait, if you’d like.”

Kara nods, floats them down. It’s a nice space—different to Cat’s balcony. Larger, darker colours too. And she feels none of the familiarity to this space as she does for Cat’s balcony. But for the woman who stands in the space, commands it, she thinks she’s starting to know her. To get a feel for _her_ , at least. 

She looks tired as she settles on the couch to wait. And not in any particular mood to talk, which suits Kara just fine. 

Kara plays a few rounds of a colourful bursting bubble game on her phone before Lena clears her throat. 

“Thank you,” she tells Kara. “For not making me walk through all those sharks.”

“Sharks? _Oh_ ,” it clicks after she asked, annoyingly. “The reporters.”

“Mhm.”

“You’re welcome. I can’t imagine it would be fun, having someone attack you and then having more people trying to pick your life apart.” Kara watches Lena carefully and she’s surprised when she gets a smile.

“It’s not. There’s pretty much only one person I would trust with it.” Her smile turns fond, a little pleased. “Do you know her? Kara Danvers.”

“I—uh—no,” Kara decides on. “No, I don’t know her. She must be nice, though, if you trust her?”

Lena’s smile flashes white, irrepressible. “Honestly? I don’t think she has a bad bone in her body. She’s the first person who told me,” Lena stops, shakes her head. “Anyway, I hope she comes by today. Her boss seems to give her assignments about me, so it’s possible. If she does…” Lena lifts her eyebrows at Kara, who nods. 

“If she comes by, I’ll make sure she doesn’t have a bomb for starters. But then I’ll do a sweep and give you some time for an interview.”

“Thank you. Really,” she insists, voice a new depth of warmth she hasn’t directed at Supergirl before. Kara Danvers knows that tone, though, and it is kind and _real_. “I appreciate it more than you can know.”

It hurts to smile back at her when she knows that Lena will be disappointed, because Kara won’t be turning up today.

Lena’s assistant lets them in without even a shred of surprise on her face—Kara thinks with that kind of professionalism she must have been Cat’s assistant at one point—and Lena thanks her and chats with her for a few minutes about the schedule for the day. Standing just to the side, Kara busies herself with checking in on Alex and tries not to plot a way to break away for a few minutes and call Lena as Kara, faking a cold or some other excuse. 

She gets a message back from Alex that is short and to the point:

— _hang tight at l corp._ _manufacturers dead end. be on alert love u_

“Bad news, Supergirl?”

Kara forces a smile. “No ma’am. Just checking in with the agents.”

“Agent Danvers, right?” Lena nods. “She isn’t related to Kara Danvers, is she?”

“Sisters,” Kara tells her, frowning down at her phone when a message from Winn comes through. Lena makes a small, thoughtful noise.

“Well, make yourself at home. And please feel free to order food through my assistant if you need. I’ve had to rework a few meetings to take them from my computer, so I’m afraid I’ll be very busy. I won’t be able to entertain you,” she says apologetically, and Kara waves her hands hurriedly. 

“No, no, I'll be fine I promise. You won’t even notice that I’m here.”


	5. Chapter 5

“Miss Luthor, I’m sorry to interrupt,” Lena’s assistant announces herself, quiet but not timid. Kara looks up from her phone to see Lena holding up a finger to stop her for a moment, typing furiously. When she’s done, she pulls her hands into her lap and turns to give her assistant her full attention.

“I’m sorry about that, Jess,” and she smiles when her assistant does. “It was an email I  _desperately_ needed to finish. Those terrible men who think I should pay them extra for substandard work.” They share an annoyed look and Lena leans back in her chair, nods to her. “What do you have for me?”

“Ah yes. Not for you exactly, Miss Luthor. There are some agents downstairs. I was hoping that Supergirl could verify their identities?” She glances over to Kara, who nods. A quick glance through the floors and Kara can see three familiar faces—Winn, and a couple of the agents Alex works with often.

“They’re fine, you can let them up.”

Jess gapes at her for a moment, professionalism ruffled by the display of power, and Kara is impressed by how quickly she blinks away her surprise and gives her a smooth smile. “Great. They’ll be up in no time,” she says to Lena easily. “Thank you for your help, Supergirl.”

“It’s not a problem. Oh but uh, the box,” the assistant turns back and Kara sketches out a box shape in front of her. “I scanned the box as well, that the shortest agent is carrying? It’s all fine too. Nothing will show up when it’s scanned through the x-ray, is all.” Jess nods and makes a note on her tablet and Kara smiles at the girl until she’s gone. When she looks away, Lena is watching her curiously, turning a pen between her fingers. “What? Did i do something wrong?”

Lena smiles at the question, though her eyes remain thoughtful. “Not at all.” She turns back to her computer and Kara wants to ask, to make sure, but then with ease Lena steers the conversation away. “Have you heard from Agent Danvers? Any progress?”

“No, but I’m sure the agents will have something to tell us.” She can hear them stepping out of the elevator and she stands, shaking out her cape and comes to stand by Lena. Just in case.

“Miss Luthor?” Jess steps into the room. “Are you free for guests now?”

“Thank you, that will be fine. Water, agents? Something to eat, perhaps?” she asks of the black clad, serious looking agents. And Winn. They all shake their heads and Lena nods a dismissal to her assistant. 

One agent closes the door after her with a polite thank you and together they approach lena’s desk.

Winn is struggling to carry a box similar to the one Lena had seen on her dining room table the night before and she can’t resist leaning forward to try to sneak a peek at it.

“Supergirl, this is for you,” he grunts, hefting it for her to take. He gives Lena a look that is a mix between mistrust and awe, a difficult line to walk. “I know I said that someone else would bring it, but I don’t really trust grunt and gruntee here with my baby.” Kara watches as the agents shift slightly, roll their eyes to one another over Winn’s head.

“Agent Schott,” she greets him. “Agents Johnson and Jones,” Winn lifts his eyebrows to impress his point and yeah, she has to admit that they’re both tall and muscled and dark and their names kinda do sound similar so she can see where he’s coming from even if it is a bit rude, “are very highly trained and exceptional at their job.” She frowns at him and Winn hangs his head. 

Agent Jones, on the other hand, preens a little. Which is just _so_ cool because Kara has seen people snap to attention for her cousin but for her? It’s _so_ cool.

“Thank you, ma’am,” Agent Johnson says, ever so coolly. She turns to Lena then. “Miss Luthor, I am Agent Johnson and this is my partner, Agent Jones. We thought we would come and say hello. Perhaps take the opportunity to examine your office.”

Lena looks the picture of ease when she sits back, rests her elbows on the arms of her chair and spins her pen between her fingers. She looks between the agents—Johnson and Jones, rather, almost ignoring Winn—with a distant, confused smile.

“Is that really necessary?”

“They’re my backup,” Kara leans down to tell her quietly. She doesn’t buy Lena’s confusion for a moment—she’s mistrustful, and Kara can’t blame her. But if she can put even a small bit of fear to rest, Kara will try her best to do that “If I'm called somewhere else, these are the agents that are going to take care of you.” She hears Lena’s quiet hum of acknowledgement and leans away again. This isn’t her decision—Lena will tell them whether they can or cannot look around her office—and her job is done in helping her out. She steps just out of sight, between Lena and the window, and listens. 

“Of course, in that case you should familiarise yourself with my office. Jess will be more than happy to give you a tour, if you would like?” The agents nod. “Wonderful. And my office is free to you now, as I believe Agent Schott has some business with Supergirl and…this,” she suggests, gesturing toward the box.

“I do,” Winn nods eagerly. “I really, really do. Supergirl, you’re going to _love_  this.”

“You remembered my instructions though, right?” Kara asks with a wary glance toward the box because she does trust Winn with her life but sometimes not with her clothes. Especially considering the first few styles of suit he had made when she was first figuring out the whole ‘being supergirl’ thing.

“Yes, yes,” he waves an impatient hand. “I remembered your instructions. There are just a couple of improvements. Very cool improvements. Uh,” he slicks a hand over his hair and grins at Lena. “Some you might find cool too. and since I’m here and all,” he glances slyly over at Kara, who sighs and grabs the box that holds her suit, not bothering to waste her breath on stopping him. “I was wondering if I could talk to you about the oscillators your company built for the Venture.”

Lena smirks up at Kara like she knows that the hero is getting out of dodge. She looks amused more than anything, though, so Kara doesn’t let herself feel too poorly about leaving her to Winn’s questions. “There’s a bathroom through that door, Supergirl,” she tells her, and Kara feels the weight of her eyes on her back until the door closes. “Agent Schott,” Kara hears, “it would be a pleasure. Won’t you sit?”

“ _W_ _ow_ , great, okay,” Winn gushes and Kara grimaces when a chair scrapes over the floor and then he sucks in a breath and she pays no attention after that.

It takes only a short time to strip off her suit. She makes do with a hand towel and some soap to have a quick, make-shift shower but she might beg off for a short while in the evening to take a proper one. 

The new suit is the same form as her old one—top and skirt, leggings, boots—but there’s something that just feels _different_  about this one. The differences aren’t obvious, really, and a lot of them aren’t visible at all. He’s almost perfected the anti-kryptonite material and affixed it within the crest. The material of her suit is sturdier and the blue is deeper, richer. He must have spent hours getting the new fabric just how he wanted it and just right. With a quiet apology to Winn, she curls her fingers around the cuff and gives an experimental tug. Nothing rips, or stretches too much, and she grins.

“Winn!” she calls out, taking her cape from her old suit and fitting it to the new, dashing outside. “This is _great_.” He’s leaning in close across the desk toward Lena, some plans in hand marked up in black pen, and he’s  _gaping_ back at Kara. She shakes her head. “Gosh, I’m sorry, I forgot you were talking about the oscillators. I’m just, this is very cool.” She runs her fingers over the crest and grins over at him. “Thank you. Truly.”

“Of course, yeah, it was a pleasure. But, uh,” he grins back at her and points down to her feet, leans back in Lena’s guest chair with an air that is _so_ amused she’s instantly wary. “You know, the boots really finish off the whole thing.”

Kara flushes red, and when Lena hides a laugh behind her hand and tilts her head to look at Kara like she’s endearing, she doesn’t feel cool in her suit anymore. She feels little and silly and too much like oddball Kara Danvers. So her tone is a little cool when she thanks Winn and the agents. Winn jumps to his feet, a nervous expression like he wants to apologise or reassure her or _something_ , but he realises it’s a bad idea. So he just _looks_ at her with all of those things very evident in his posture and eyes and Kara relents, nodding. It’s not _his_ fault, after all, that she makes a fool out of herself in front of the woman she has to protect. And who is unfailingly calm and smooth and smart and put together.

“Tell me about the improvements?” she offers and he whips out an honest-to-Rao _manual_ that he’s written up for her from his back pocket. There are apparently a bunch of manoeuvrability benefits to this new suit, as well as fire resistance and tear resistance, and an easy release clip for her cape in case anyone tries to use it against her in a fight. And that’s just all that he tells her in one rushed breath as he urges her to the couch to read the booklet with him. 

She listens to him with most of her attention, the other part of her hearing attuned to the agents who have since excused themselves to scour the floor, and responding to their questions to her with Y or N from her phone. And perhaps she listens to Lena too, more and more as the minutes go by, to the way she shifts in her chair and her typing that stops and starts and the way her heartbeat ticks up with nerves each time a plane flies overhead or an email dings into her inbox.

“Can we go over the rest later?” Kara asks Winn quietly. He stops, does his best to hide a slightly hurt expression. “Later,” she repeats. “I promise.”

“Sure. You’re busy, of course, I get that. Should I leave the manual?” 

“Yes, I will read through it,” she promises, and the agents return briefly to each shake Lena’s hand and to promise, gravely, that they will protect her. Jones shakes Kara’s hand too, which makes his partner roll her eyes.

“Agents,” Lena calls out, “before you leave, have you heard anything more from Agent Danvers?”

“Supergirl will be the first to know if Agent Danvers finds anything,” Agent Jones tells her, and Johnson nudges him, nods to the door. “Don’t hesitate to call. Even if you’re uncertain,” he insists. “Even if it turns out to be a false alarm. We are here to protect you.”

Kara hears again Lena’s discomfort in her heartbeat and a quick swallow, and she’s amazed _again_ by the steadiness of her voice. “Thank you so much. It means a great deal to me.” She stands and crosses the room, personally walks them to the elevator. Winn nearly swoons when she shakes his hand and Kara throws him a filthy look, which he happily avoids making eye contact with. “Agent Schott, I would love to discuss our technologies with you another time, whenever you’re free.”

“Okay,” Kara smiles, a little tight. “Time to go. Thank you, agents,” she says, and they shuffle obediently into the elevator. She watches them until they’re gone and then turns. “What? You have lots of work to do,” Kara defends her actions with a concerned look. It’s _true_ , but also some strange feeling twists inside her gut when Winn looks starry-eyed at Lena. “And being up at two is _so_ bad for you.”

“Thank you for the concern, Supergirl,” Lena laughs, and Kara flushes. “My hero.”

She excuses herself to do a sweep of the building soon after that, which has absolutely nothing to do with her hoping that the rushing winds will knock the heat right out of her cheeks. Nothing at all. 

* * *

The day is long and rather uneventful. Kara is used to doing things, to action—at first running around all day every day after Cat, and then doing that _and_  her super activities. So sitting and playing with her phone all day on Lena’s couch is strangely exhausting, every bit of her sight and hearing stretched to their limits to detect any threat. She flies her home, lands on the balcony Lena found a key for and rolls the tension out of her shoulders as she follows Lena around. 

“I wonder,” Lena sighs, hanging her coat up in her hallway closet and clicking a direct path, still in her heels, to the kitchen. “Is it strange that I feel almost disappointed that no one tried to kill me today?”

Kara laughs at the comment, so near to her own thoughts, and turns a slow circle to scan the apartment for anything out of place. “Not at all.”

Lena hums, checks through her mail. “Bills,” she rolls her eyes and dumps the letters in a fruit bowl, next to a single apple. “It feels so strange,” she continues. “This is my life now.” Rolling her eyes to her protective shadow, who nods, Lena pulls them each a bottle of water from her fridge and returns, sets the second one on the counter in front of Kara. “Sleep, work, worry if I’m going to be murdered, try not to get murdered. And then repeat the process all over again.”

Kara ducks her head and fiddles with the cuffs of her new suit. They feel a little different and while she’s working it’s not distracting but when she’s faced with Lena, all alone, and she’s looking at her with a sharp smile and eyes trying very hard not to be afraid, they’re the perfect distraction.

“I’m sorry we haven’t found your attacker yet, Lena,” she says quietly.

“Don’t be. They would be a fool to try anything the day after. Security is bound to be far too tight. I’m just afraid that they won’t attack for _months,_ ” she scowls down to her water bottle. “You’ll have to leave me at some point and—“ Lena laughs, quietly, drags her thumb down the side of her water bottle to catch the condensation. “You must think me a terrible coward.”

“No.” Kara steps up to lean against the side, crosses her arms. She frowns thoughtfully down at her crest, wondering if she should tell Lena what it means or if that’s too trite. Lena has made no secret what she thinks of her—naive, self-righteous, and if the way she had looked and laughed at her today meant what she thought it meant, silly too. She swallows her words of comfort, they feel wrong and silly anyway, and just shakes her head. “No, I don’t. Not at all.”

“Well.” Lena raises her bottle. “Cheers to that, then.”

When she twists the cap off, Kara has a fraction of a second to react. There is something  _wrong_ about it—the smell, she realises later but in that moment all she knows is that some part of her is _screaming_ for her to pay attention, to act—and she darts forward to dash the bottle from Lena’s hands.

“What are you—” Her question breaks off when Kara carries her to the safest spot in the apartment, next to a wall where no windows show a clear line to her. Kara presses her against the wall, a hand on each shoulder. 

“Stay,” Kara insists, and when Lena nods, she rushes back to the fridge to empty it. 

She cracks open each bottle and separates them into two piles. One contaminated, One not. In the end, there are ten bottles she is pretty sure have been tampered with. Lena stares at her wide-eyed from across the room and curls a hand around her mouth in an effort to keep in her shallow, quick breaths. 

Kara looks grimly over at her and reaches up to her ear, taps her comms online. “Supergirl for Agent Danvers.”

“ _S_ _upergirl_?” Alex sounds surprised to hear from her and Kara hears the squeak of her chair when she spins, imagines her ducking her head and lifting her hand to her other ear to block out the sounds from the rest of the room. “ _W_ _hat’s wrong_?”

“They’ve been in Lena’s apartment,” she says, and she hasn’t looked away from Lena so she can see the way the woman pales and stiffens, turns a little away from Kara. She is all tense lines and Kara knows any minute now she’s going to snap. “Some of the water bottles have been tampered with. How soon can you get here?”

“ _W_ _e’re already on our way. Is she safe? Did she ingest anything?_ ”

“No. No, I stopped her.”

“ _G_ _ood_. K _eep her calm, keep her safe until we get there. Is there anything else?”_

Kara shakes her head. “No. Drive safe, Alex. Be careful.”

“ _I_ _’ll be there soon. Keep an eye on the cameras and keep Lena with you. We don’t know what else has been tampered with.”_

“Understood.” Kara taps her earpiece to end the call and she smiles as reassuringly over at Lena as she can. But Lena can't see her smile because she’s standing there, turned away, with tight shoulders and neck and she’s curled her hand into a fist that she presses tightly to her lips. “We’re just gonna hang out right here until the agents get here,” she says and, to her surprise, Lena laughs. It turns hysterical so quickly that Kara crosses the room to get to her in a blink of an eye, curls her arms around lena’s shoulders. The woman stiffens. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry,” Kara mutters and pulls back but then Lena is turning towards her and her hands are around her waist and her head is buried in the crook of Kara’s neck and she’s _sobbing_ , shoulders shaking like she’s going to break apart at any moment. Kara settles her hands gently on Lena’s back and murmurs soothing phrases to her that she remembers, a warm hand and a warm voice beside her through a fever dream. Lena can’t understand the words, of course, but she hopes the intent will be enough.

Her phone buzzes when Alex arrives in the garage. Kara tells her that softly, knowing that Lena will want to take a moment to bring herself back under control.

Lena pulls back, sucks in a shaky breath. “I must look a mess,” she laughs, and avoids Kara’s eyes. Her voice is thick and raw and Kara wants to pull her into another hug, wrap arms and cape around her and make sure that she’s _safe_. Make sure that she never doubts that. The feeling takes her by surprise and she’s reaching out for Lena before she can think about it, it’s so overwhelming. She stops herself an inch away and redirects her hand, shakily tucks Lena’s hair behind her ear.

“No. Not at all.”

“Flatterer,” Lena snorts, and grimaces at the sound. “I need to make myself presentable.”

“I…” Kara frowns. “I understand. Believe me, I do. But I don’t think you should touch, well… anything.” Lena sags against the wall and Kara wraps her hands around each elbow to make sure she doesn’t fall. “I’m really sorry,” she murmurs, and Lena nods but says nothing. Her eyes focus on a spot—Kara’s collarbone or some distant point behind it—and Kara rubs her arm until Alex knocks at the door.

When she shifts away, Lena grabs at her lightning quick, eyes suddenly desperate.

“It’s alright,” Kara soothes. “It’s Alex. It’s just Alex.” She makes a show of looking at the door and through it, and nods to Lena. “It’s Alex. You can come with me, if you want?” Lena swallows and nods. She doesn’t look up at Alex, stands mostly behind Kara when she opens the door and Alex grimaces at the sight of them.

“I’m really sorry about this, Miss Luthor. I don’t know how this could have happened.” Alex pulls Kara into a quick hug, and nods to Lena, who looks relieved that Alex didn’t try to touch her. Kara gives Alex a look, a _this isn’t good_ kind of look, because she might not have known Lena for long but she knows that she doesn’t show her fear. “We’ll get this sorted out. I promise.”


	6. Chapter 6

“The bedroom is here and the bathroom is, well, you can obviously see it’s right there,” Kara points, hand close to her body because it’s a very small apartment and it’s plain and she has never really understood why a safe house has to feel like this. There’s nothing—no coloured paint on the walls, no art, nothing that makes this feel less awful. Kara rubs at her forehead. “Lena, I am so sorry.”

“Why?”

Kara looks over at her, frowning. “I, promised to protect you,” she says slowly. “I promised to make sure that you were safe and,”

“And here I am,” Lena gestures to herself. “Safe. Alive.”

“I think the phrase is alive and _well,_ ” Kara reminds her, and, “You’re not well.”

“I feel fine.”

“That’s not what I mean,” Kara urges, and Lena looks over at her with dark eyes. Ever since she had slumped against Kara, stood behind her trembling, gripping at her cape, ever since Kara had lifted her gently into Alex’s car and they had been driven here, she has been quiet and still and more Luthor than Lena. Which isn’t something Kara would ever say to her because she knows now that Lena would find that far more cruel than how Kara intends it. But the fact of the matter is that no matter how long, how hard Kara searches, she can’t see the Lena she knows in that impassive face. “Okay. It’s fine. We’ll make the most of this. You won’t be here long and,”

“I’m feeling quite tired, Supergirl,” Lena tells her, and she moves into the bedroom and sits on the edge of the bed.

Kara follows her. “Do you want—” It’s not the right thing to do, to offer to stay. Because lena will say no. Pride, or something else making her say it. And Kara isn’t interested in coming back and seeing Lena hurt, or worse. “I’ll stay out here tonight. Alex will come back with food and some movies, books. Do you have any requests?”

“I just want to sleep.” She sounds more than tired—tired right to her very bones—just for a second, and then she smiles all sharp and shallow. “A good a time as any to catch up on sleep, right? I needed a vacation.”

Kara laughs a little awkwardly. Not because it’s funny but she thinks, maybe, Lena needs her to laugh? When her shoulders loosen a little and Lena’s smile turns a touch more genuine, Kara knows she was right.

“Would you close the door, please, Supergirl?”

“Of course, yeah. Call out if you need anything.” Lena looks at her for a long moment, lips slightly parted, and Kara waits. But then Lena nods and looks away, so Kara closes the door as she was asked and she sits on the couch.

— _ETA fifteen minutes_ , Alex has messaged her.  
— _need anything else?_

Kara thinks about it for a moment then sends a small flurry of messages. Just a couple of things. To make it feel more like home. And finally, one tentative request she knows Alex is going to shoot down before she says yes. _I_ _f_ she says yes.

* * *

“Oh,” Lena breathes out when she comes out of the bedroom some time later. She doesn't look like she's slept and Kara hopes she's not avoiding sleeping. “You did this for me?”

“I had help.” Kara shifts a little awkwardly. Her collar feels too tight around her neck and she tugs at it. “Um, we obviously couldn’t take anything from your place but I asked Alex to get your favourite movies and books,”

“How did you know?” She doesn’t touch anything, just looks down at the small piles Kara has set out on the table. 

“You keep them all to the right,” Kara shrugs. “The right of your desk, the right side of your bookcase. I know you like those cookies you gave me, they were on the right side of your pantry.”

“Oh.” Lena frowns over at her, but it’s not angry or hurt or annoyed or anything like that. It’s… confused, and a little soft. And then she smiles and Kara has to look away. “I didn’t even realise that I did that. How observant.”

“That’s me,” Kara clears her throat. “Observant Ollie.” She grimaces—who says things like that?—but then Lena is laughing.

“Oh Supergirl, sometimes it’s hard to forget that you’re an alien but that is just,” she shakes her head, smiles fondly over at Kara. For a moment, that’s it. But then her eyes shadow and widen a little and she looks away, clears her throat. “What else do you have for me?”

Kara pushes away her confusion—for now, she thinks it might be best to just admit she can’t read Lena and to not even try—and she grabs at her cape. “Well, uh, I was wondering if maybe you would like to…see your friend.” Lena whips around to face her, eyes wide and hopeful. “We, we did some checks and she’s clean like a new whistle and Alex is confident that she can get her here with no trouble so,”

“When?”

“Tonight? I thought, you two, and dinner and I could,” she points out the window. “Give you some time to talk. There will be agents all around so you’ll be safe and I’ll keep an eye out and,”

“Yes,” Lena rushes to say. “Yes, please, I would like nothing more. Oh but,” Lena draws back a little, frowns. “Does she know? I couldn’t bear it if she were in danger so please, make sure she knows what she’s getting into.”

“She knows. She’s—she wants to be here. For you.”

Lena lifts her chin a little and for a moment, Kara can see the echo of the woman who had broken down against her. But then that woman is gone and all she can see is a warm smile and Lena is walking over to her and settles her hand on Kara’s arm and squeezes.

“Thank you. So much. You don’t know what this means to me.”

Kara looks down at the hand on her arm, and up at the genuine smile, and it hurts a little because it’s kind of really obvious now that Lena doesn’t like her—Supergirl her. Tolerates her, is appreciative of being saved, definitely. But she doesn’t smile because of her. Not like this.

Which is, like, two times as confusing because Lena _does_  like Kara Danvers and that’s nice because she doesn’t know many people who would like Kara Danvers over Supergirl—but then again, Lena is a Luthor and she doesn’t trust Supergirl and it’s just,

“Supergirl?” Lena looks confused and concerned and her smile fades very quickly. Like a dolt, Kara has just been staring at her for a minute, maybe longer, and Lena takes it as a sign to pull away. Her hand hangs in the air for a moment before falling down by her side. “I’m sorry." She sounds a little stiff. And not hurt but something similar. Embarrassed, maybe?

“No, I’m sorry, I’m really glad to be able to do this for you. You deserve it.” She doesn’t get another smile though and Kara knows they need to move on or this moment is going to stagnate between them like so many before. She gestures to the table of groceries and gifts. “Do you need help unpacking or would you like to do that?”

“It’s fine, you go make your rounds.”

“Alright.” Kara stands a bit stiff, awkward, and she knows she has to fly this weird energy off before she comes back as Kara. “Kara should get here soon. If you need anything..."

“I know who to call.” Lena lays her hands on the back of one of the dining room chairs, smiles over at her. Kara tries not to read into the positioning—closed off, defensive—and nods to her before she steps out.

* * *

The agents at the door nod to her, trying not to smile when she comes back, hair a little windblown, and dressed as Kara.

“Miss Danvers,” Johnson nods to her. Kara grins, shifts her grip on the box in her hands.

“Hi Sarah, how are you?” Kara pretends to struggle with the box—Agent Jones ducks his head to hide a smile—and she reaches in to take out two lunch boxes. They both have the super crest on them and this time Agent Johnson has to cough to keep from smiling too. “There are some sandwiches and an apple and a juice in there and I know it sucks when you can’t brush your teeth so I got you each some mints, hopefully that will be okay?”

“That’ll be just fine, thank you ma’am.” Jones takes his lunchbox with a nod, stands to attention when she smiles at him.

“Can I—?” She points to the front door and Agent Johnson nods.

She turns and raps on the door for Kara. “Ma’am? You have a guest. Codeword comet.”

_Comet_? Kara mouths to Jones, who grins and shrugs. She’s impressed by how quickly he reverts to calm when Lena opens the door, and then she’s being tugged into the safe house and Agent Johnson closes the door behind them.

Lena's hand is warm on her arm and her hand slips away very slowly. She's smiling and Kara ducks her head, smiles at the ground, and follows Lena out of the hall. She makes a good attempt at pretending like this is the first time she’s been here.

“Should I,” she gestures to the shoes against the wall and, when Lena nods, she toes her shoes off. “It’s, um, it’s nice.”

Lena laughs at her attempt and shakes her head. “It’s a cardboard box. I’ve only been here for six hours and I’m already going stircrazy.” She latches onto Kara’s wrist again, smoothes her thumb over the skin there and smiles at her in a way that makes Kara’s stomach turn over. “You have no idea how good it is to see you,” she confesses quietly, and Kara beams at her. 

“I’m happy to be here. Do you, um,” she glances around. “Want to sit?”

“Of course, where’s my hospitality? Would you like something to drink?”

“No, no, I’m fine.” Kara follows her to the couch and sets her box down on the floor. From the top of it, she pulls out her notebook, sets it on her lap. For a moment, she looks around to make sure everything is in it’s place and she spreads her hearing out over the suburb. It’s all quiet, nothing out of the ordinary. 

When she turns back to Lena, the woman is staring down at the notebook in her hands with an uneasy smile and Kara groans, nearly throws it back into the box. 

“I’m sorry, I’m not here as a reporter I  _promise_ ,” she tells her. “I just, I’m used to doing that, with you and I thought I might need some kind of cover because this is a safe house with secret agents and I wasn’t sure,” she’s cut off when Lena laughs and Kara relaxes with a little sigh, relieved that Lena knows, that she understands. 

“You are something else, Kara,” Lena murmurs, and she twists to face her, leans against the back of the couch. Kara relaxes into the couch a little more and they sit quietly for a moment. 

“Are you alright?” Kara asks. She can’t—doesn’t _want—_ to put off asking any longer, she _needs_  to know.

She’s struck by the difference between Lena with Supergirl and Lena with her. With Supergirl, there is always, always that veneer of calm, of distance, and Kara doesn’t think she realised how effective it is until she’s faced with this Lena, who doesn’t try to hide how shaky she is. Not really. When her smile falters and she looks down at her hands, plucks at her fingers, Kara doesn’t resist the pull to move closer. “Oh Lena,” Kara breathes and she reaches out, lays a hand on Lena’s knee. 

Lena hesitates for a moment before she moves closer. She leans against Kara’s shoulder, lets her head drop for a moment and Kara tightens her grip on her knee. _I'_ _m here_ , she tries to let her know without having to say it. 

“I suppose you’ve heard, how could you not,” she murmurs. “My brother is after me. Again.” She laughs a little and Kara spreads her hand wide and rubs her thumb against Lena’s skin. Her laugh turns into a sigh and even the smile she's forcing fades a little.

“I am so sorry." She squeezes gently, turns closer to Lena. "Are you alright though? I mean, obviously you’re not alright,” she says, frowning at herself, “but you, you’re safe here, it’s a safe house right, and they’re looking out for you?”

Lena sits up, pulls her head from Kara’s shoulder and, after a moment, moves away down the couch. Kara lifts her hand and lets Lena go. 

“They are. Supergirl herself is looking after me so I couldn’t be more safe, I’m sure.”

Kara worries at her lip, unsure of Lena’s tone. When she reaches up for her glasses, Lena glances sharply at her, a flicker of worry in her eyes. She looks tense and uncertain and Kara doesn’t know why, exactly. “You don’t… You don’t sound sure of that,” she suggests quietly, and Lena shrugs.

“I admire her very much, but I suppose it’s hard to imagine that she’ll really protect me if she were in danger.”

“What?” Kara winces when she hears herself, horrified. “Lena, _no_ ,”

“Please, I know how you feel about aliens but this isn’t that kind of prejudice, I promise.” Kara hates what is coming next but she hates more the way Lena shifts to sit away from Kara a little, stiff and uncomfortable. “I know I want to make a name for myself away from Luthor but the longer this goes on, the more I wonder if I can. If any minute now, Supergirl is going to realise who I am and,” she scoffs, flutters her hand toward the window.

“She won’t do that.”

Lena looks almost lazily her way—it’s a look Kara recognises. Cat does it, sometimes. And it has very little to do with laziness and a lot to do with watching and waiting for the right time to strike. It might not mean the same with Lena, but Kara is pretty sure she’s not far off the mark. She expects some kind of interrogation, but then Lena just smiles.

“Would you like to have dinner with me?”

“Wh—I—” Kara swallows. “You’re very,” she shakes her head. “Yes. I would.”

“Great. And while we’re cooking, you can finish that sentence and tell me what I’m very…” Lena raises her eyebrows and her smile tells Kara that she’s delighting in her blush.

“Nothing, I didn’t, wasn’t going to say anything.”

“Your stutter tells me otherwise.”

“I just think that, with everything going on, it might not be the best time to say anything,” Kara says, and she wishes she hadn’t because Lena turns to her thoughtfully like she’s trying to decipher what that means and Kara kind of hopes she figures it out because she sure as hell doesn’t know.

“Pretty?” She suggests, turning back to the fridge. “Do you have any allergies?”

“No. No allergies,” Kara tells her. “And not pretty. I mean, you _are_ ,” she rushes to say when Lena looks back at her over her shoulder, smirking a little, “and you have to know that because _wow_ ,”

“That’s so nice of you. You realise I’m in sweats though, right?”

Kara flushes and shrugs helplessly. Touches a hand to her glasses again. She follows Lena’s directions and fills up a pot of water, pulls the pasta down from the cupboard.

“So, pretty but not pretty. I’m very…demanding?” Lena sets out her ingredients and starts to prepare them, with speed and surety that makes Kara gape because she’s a hero but she can’t do that. “My assistant would agree with you there.”

Kara shakes free of her awe and scoffs, carries the half-full pot over to the stove. “Please, I was Cat’s assistant for almost three years. You’re, like, lovely compared to her.” And that’s the second compliment she’s given Lena in as many minutes and Lena is smiling at her again like she knows something Kara doesn’t. 

“Mysterious?” she suggests, and Kara laughs. 

“I guess so. Secret houses, a codename for me.”

“Mm, well, I do try.”

Kara laughs softly and she enjoys the way Lena stands next to her, telling her what she’s doing with the food. There’s a lot of talk of dicing and how easy it all is, but Kara is impressed because the best she does for herself is making frozen pizza and she just has to remember to take it out of the box for that. 

“I’m _dying_  of curiosity now, Kara,” Lena tells her, and she throws her a pleading look. “Won’t you tell me?”

Kara groans and laughs, shakes her head. “No, I—I was going to say off-putting,” she admits, and hurries to add, “but it’s not the right word so I didn’t want to say it. You just, you _do_  things and you _say_  things and I’m not sure what to expects and it’s not a _bad_ thing,” she tells Lena. “It’s just a bit confusing.”

“Confusing,” Lena repeats. “I’m the confusing one?”

“Yes?” She pours the pasta in when Lena nods to the boiling water and after a moment of thought she holds up the lid and places it on when Lena gives her a curious look and nods.

“Do you not cook?”

“No, not really. Basically never,” Kara admits. “Alex and I are kinda busy, we get takeout a lot.”

“Mm.” Lena stirs her own saucepan. “That’s right. Alex danvers, the FBI agent.” Kara nods. “Supergirl knows her. They’re quite friendly.”

“Well, yes, um,” Kara turns away, searches through the fridge for some water. There isn’t any—good call, since Lena was nearly poisoned by a water bottle—and she takes her time filling two glasses up from the sink instead. “You know, secret agents working with superheros, I can’t really talk about it. It’s, like, twelve levels of restricted.”

“Mhm.” Lena works silently for a few minutes. Then, “so, I’m confusing you,” and when Kara _groans_ , Lena laughs. Genuinely. Sweetly. “Distraction doesn’t work with me, Kara, I think you should know that.”

“Yeah, I’m starting to figure that out actually.” She grins down to her pasta. It _might_ be almost ready she guesses and she stirs tentatively. More prodding at the water than anything but Lena doesn’t notice so she’s fine.

It’s all fine, actually, right up to the point where Lena asks her, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” and Kara promptly splashes the countertop with boiling water with an ill-timed jerk. “Is that a no?”

“I—you—Lena!” Kara huffs, and she crosses her arms. “You are in a _safe house_. This isn’t the time to think about things like that.”

“So that _is_  a no.”

“No,” Kara says, “I'm, it’s, you’re being attacked by someone, Lena! You should be,”

“Worried? Out of my mind with panic?” Lena moves closer to her, plucks at Kara’s shirt where a little water has wet it. “I’m terrified,” she admits with a little chuckle. “But I don’t want to think about that and you are a very lovely distraction.” Kara gulps and Lena’s face falls. “I didn’t mean it like that, you aren’t a distraction. I do very much want to take you on a date,”

“I knew what you meant,” Kara laughs, and Lena heaves a sigh of relief. “I’m,” she reaches up for her glasses and Lena takes advantage of the move to shift a little closer and now they’re standing nearly nose to nose and Kara’s hand is at her face and she doesn’t have control of it when it drifts down to lay on her shoulder, to sweep at the little patch of skin where Lena’s shirt meets her neck. “I’m flattered,” she tells Lena, and when hands settle on her hips her breath comes out in a rush and a sound that’s embarrassingly close to a squeak. 

“Say yes, won’t you? It will give me something to plan while I’m stuck in here.” 

“This is…” Kara licks her lips, flails a little with her free hand when Lena turns them so Kara is backed up against the sink. She grips onto the counter and can’t help the way her eyes flutter shut. “This is bad, Lena, I’m supposed to be here as a friend. Alex is going to kill me.”

“Kara,” Lena laughs, “don’t think about your sister right now.”

“That’s a good, good,” her breath hitches, Lena’s thumbs dragging over her hip bones. “Um. Oh gosh. Suggestion.”

“Go on a date with me,” Lena urges again, and Kara slams her eyes shut. 

“I—” She can _feel_  Lena leaning in and she didn’t know? She didn’t know that she _wanted_  this. She had an inkling, maybe, because Lena is strong and tough and yes, _beautiful_ , but she didn’t _know_  and now she’s leaning in and her hands are on Kara’s waist and Kara thinks that Lena might actually be about to kiss her and _Rao_ , this is bad. “I can’t,” she whispers, and turns her head to the side to make sure that Lena can’t kiss her. 

The effect is immediate and chilling. Lena pulls her hands away, steps back. 

“I'm sorry,” she says to Kara, genuine but lacking any trace of flirtation. And that, Kara realises, is what was that was making her feel warm. The affection, the attention that Lena has been directing her way makes her feel good like that. “I thought…” She shakes her head, glances away. “I’m sorry.”

“No, Lena, it’s not,” Kara bites down on her tongue. She can’t _tell_  her. Lena doesn’t trust or like Supergirl and she _is_  Supergirl so if she kisses Kara and takes Kara on a date that’s…that’s not good. That’s trickery on a new level and Kara isn’t about to do that to someone like Lena. Someone who is already struggling to find her footing, someone who already feels like the world is out to get her. “Lena, I can’t explain it right now but, I want to. I would like to. But I  _can’t_.”

Lena nods. “I understand.”

Kara can tell she doesn’t, though, and they struggle through an awkward dinner. Kara tries to fill the silence with funny stories from when Alex was starting out as an agent, but either she’s not telling them right or it’s _too_  awkward, because every punchline falls short. And when Lena opens her mouth after Kara finishes the last bite on her plate, Kara rushes to stand before Lena can ask her to leave. She knows it's coming but she really, _really_ doesn't want to have to hear it. 

“I know, I’ll leave. I’m so sorry, this was, I shouldn’t have,” she hurries to collect her things, red-faced and feeling a hundred times more awkward than normal.

Lena intercepts her when she’s slipping her shoes on. Her voice dips low, mindful of the agents outside. "I didn’t mean to upset you, Kara.”

“No. No, look you have so much to worry about right now and I’m here for you,”

“As a friend,” Lena nods. “And that means a lot to me, truly. I hope you can forgive me for tonight.”

“There is _nothing_  to forgive,” Kara insists, and Lena smiles at her genuinely finally. 

“So earnest,” she sighs. “I do like that about you, Kara.”

She doesn’t know what comes over her. But Lena is right there and tonight started great and ended kind of awful and she knew, vaguely, that she liked girls but now there is a girl in front of her who likes her back and it’s wrong but,

She kisses her. Very quickly, rocks forward on her toes and brings her hand to Lena’s cheek and presses her lips to hers and just as fast she rockets back and away. 

“Oh no. Oh no, I’m sorry, I’m so all about consent but you’re so pretty and you were so nice and the thing I can’t tell you about isn’t that I don’t _like_  you or that I don’t _want_  to go on a date with you but,” and then Lena is the one kissing her and Kara falls silent and a little bit limp and hums happily with Lena holding her gently, with Lena’s heart tripping a little in her chest, with the wall solid behind her and Lena soft against her. 

“Kara,” Lena murmurs. “When this is over, and you figure out this thing you can’t tell me,” she teases, “would you like to go on a date with me then?”

“I, um,” Kara nods. “Yes.”

“Good.” There’s a knock at the door and Lena smiles. “That’s your cue.”

“Right. Goodnight,” she says, a little dazed.

“Goodnight, Kara.”

When the door closes, and Kara is in the hall and Lena is in her house, Kara doesn’t see anything except for the way the door falls away under her vision and Lena leans against the wall and shakes her head and touches her fingers to her lips. Kara mimics the motion, jerks a little because her lips feel like they’re tingling and she wants to float and—

“Good dinner, Miss Danvers?” Agent Jones asks her quietly, and he laughs when Kara flushes red and sprints away down the hall. 


	7. Chapter 7

“I have donuts.”

Kara rolls her eyes over to the door and groans. 

“Come on, let me in.” 

A moment of silence and then Kara hears metal clicking in the lock and she sighs, kicks her cape off her lap and stands. She throws the door open and scowls at her sister, who is kneeling in front of the door and slipping her lockpicks back into her pocket. She takes the hand Kara offers and jumps to her feet.

“Agents.” Supergirl scowls to the two standing guard. They stand to attention and she sighs. “Thank you for your hard work,” she mutters because they’re good people and it’s not like Alex doesn’t outrank them by, like, a billion levels. “Please,” she snaps her cape to the side, maybe a bit dramatically, but she likes the way it sounds cranky just like her. “Won’t you come in, Agent Danvers?”

“Thanks, don’t mind if I do.” Alex pats her on the shoulder, pushes a mostly empty box of donuts into Kara’s hands. She makes sure to walk and speak quietly as she steps in and she takes in the set up—dinner stuff still sits unwashed in the kitchen, Lena’s bedroom door closed, and Kara's set up in the living room with Parks and Recreation on mute on the small DVD player and an empty packet of chips. “Oh boy. What happened?”

“Nothing.” 

 _How_  Alex picks her tone out of two syllables, Kara will never know. But she does. She turns slowly, eyes narrowed, and Kara hurries to take the donuts into the kitchen to avoid that gaze. 

“Be quiet, okay. Lena is sleeping.” Kara peers into the next room to make sure of that but Lena is laying still and her breathing has been steady for half an hour. “Nothing _happened_ , Alex,” she insists, feeling eyes boring into her back. The weight of it doesn’t let up and Kara stuffs two of the last donuts into her mouth as she continues, “But if something did happen,” she has to swallow then because there’s no way to say this with a full mouth, “ _hypothetically,_  something that I’m really confused about… Could we just…not think about it for about a week? Until we find the guy trying to kill Lena, that’s all?”

“That sounds an awful lot like repressing feelings,” Alex teases and she steps up behind her sister, wraps her arms around her waist. She snags Kara’s arm when she tries to reach for the last donut. “What happened?” she asks, chin on her shoulder. 

“Nothing. Repression is healthy, right?”

“Uh, no.”

“ _A_ _lex_ ,” Kara whines and she sags, leans her head against the cupboard door. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Hey, if this is about Lena,”

“Lena? Wh—ha! No, why would it be about Lena? it’s not about _L_ _ena_.”

“Weird, it kinda sounds like it might be about Lena.” Alex lifts her chin before bumping it back down onto Kara’s shoulder—gently, though, because her chin can only take so much, and she doesn't feel like shattering it against her sister's alien body. “She’s going to be okay. We’re going to find this asshole and arrest him and I know you feel bad about the water bottle situation but it’s okay.” She squeezes Kara tight. “You could’t have known. And she’s okay, remember that.”

“Right. Because that, that is what I’m upset about,” Kara laughs awkwardly, and Alex is quiet for a few long moments. 

“That’s not what this is about,” she says, and Kara tenses. “So what _is_ this about?”

She’s patient. Annoyingly so. And when Kara shifts uncomfortably, she holds tight until her sister sags again. The way Kara sighs and opens her mouth to explain is a victory and Alex tilts her head to watch Kara’s profile, watch her expressions shift between confused and a little spark of elation and worry. 

“I—when I came over tonight, something happened.” Alex nods for her to continue. “I didn’t mean for it to happen and it’s _bad_ , Alex, it’s really bad because I think…” Kara bites her lip and, in a moment of bristling nerves, she sweeps the room with her senses. “Lena is awake,” Kara hisses, a shadow shifting ever so slightly to her side and the whisper of a breath alerting her. Alex steps quickly back away from Kara, pulls a notebook from her pocket. 

“We continued looking at the Metropolis angle for the gas manufacturer and we definitely found where it was made but there was a shipment stolen two weeks ago,” Alex tells Kara quietly, and she rolls her eyes when Kara very unsubtly looks over to the doorway Lena steps out from. 

“I’m sorry,” she says to both of them. “I was just after a glass of water. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You didn’t.” Alex holds up her notebook. “Just an update.”

Lena looks between them and then at the notebook, expression changing into something hungry, dark. “Anything new?”

Alex gestures to the dining table. She wants to shake her head when Kara darts around and pulls out a chair for her and for Lena before she sits, because she understands what the look means that Lena is giving them—she thinks there is something going on between them. She _knows_  there is something between Alex Danvers and Supergirl and she _knows_  that Kara Danvers is Alex’s sister and as much as she hates it, Alex has twenty bucks riding on her bet with Winn that Kara is going to blow her cover before the end of the week. Before that happens, though, she has to contend with the uncomfortable knowledge that Lena thinks she interrupted them making out. 

“I was just telling Supergirl,” she pauses when Kara waves the tiniest bit to Lena, frowns at her. “I was just telling her that the gas used in the device was stolen from the manufacturer and we’re tracking down any unauthorised activity in the warehouse around the time we think it was stolen. I promise,” she tells Lena, “we have our best people on it. They’ll find something.” Lena nods over to her and Alex has to admit, she kind of admires the woman for her composure. “Also, we analysed the water bottles and we know now that it happened before Supergirl set up her surveillance. There’s been no breach to your apartment security since and—”

“I should go back.”

“ _W_ _hat_?” Kara’s head snaps to the side to stare, wide-eyed, at Lena. “No, are you kidding me? You’re staying put here where you're _safe_.”

“I can play one night off as a business trip,” Lena tells Alex smoothly, ignoring Supergirl. “But more than one night, it comes across as fear and I’m not about to give that bastard the satisfaction.”

“Fear might be good,” Alex counters. “Mixed with that Luthor pride, it'll make him think you’re going to make mistakes. Slip up somewhere, take a risk.”

Lena has no makeup on and her hair hangs loose over her shoulders, but that softness does nothing to hide the calculation in those eyes. Not from Alex. It worries her—she can’t forget, can’t ever forget, that Lena is a Luthor. No matter how much her little sister trusts this woman, Alex has to be less trusting, less friendly. Kara comes first. Always. 

“What do you suggest I do, Agent Danvers? Stay put or make a move?”

Alex leans back in her chair, throws her arm over the back of it. She looks between Lena’s carefully considerate look and Kara’s desperate eyes and she shrugs. “I think we aren’t getting far tracking him down. He knows what he’s doing.” Lena’s lips curve into a sharp smile. “I think we need to draw him out. I suggest,” she adds slowly, throwing an apologetic look Kara’s way because she’s going to _hate_ this, “that we pull Supergirl back. Amp up your human security detail. Maybe push it as a Supergirl has a duty to the public and you trust your company to protect you.”

“That has potential to be seen as anti-alien prejudice and I don't have enough clout here to deal with the fall out of giving National City's darling the cold shoulder." She smirks at Kara, who is glaring down at the table. Lena only falters for a second before she's back with Alex. "I'll take your human agents. Send some away in public. I'll...make a statement about how I am not afraid and how this will not affect L Corp going forward. Business as usual.”

“That's...really good, actually."

“Hi, excuse me,” Kara butts in, laying both hands down firmly on the table when she stands, sending her chair skidding back. “Can I just say this is a _terrible_  idea?”

“Noted, Supergirl,” Alex nods. She turns away from her sister, back to Lena. “We’re going to have to fit you for some protective gear.”

“I’m ready when you are, Agent.”

“Great.” Alex taps the table and nods. It feels good to have some kind of a plan in place and she jots down their decision in her book, flips it shut. “I’ll take this back to my boss, let you know how it turns out. Stay safe.”

When she stands, Lena does too and she looks between a scowling Supergirl and Alex quickly. “I do apologise for interrupting. Earlier.”

“You didn’t,” Alex is quick to assure her, and she glances over to Kara who has _finally_  clued in on what Lena thinks and her sister flushes. “We’re friends.”

Lena murmurs an acknowledgement, clearly not believing her, and she makes a little too much noise getting the glass of water she wanted to give the pair some space. When they reach the door, Kara slips out into the hall with Alex and grabs her elbow.

"You can't let her  _do_ this, Alex."

Alex shrugs her off and shakes her head. "Supergirl, you don't get it. She needs to do something to feel like she's fighting back against this creep."

"There is doing something, and there is doing a  _stupid_ something."

"Well, I think it's a good idea," Alex spreads her hands wide, shrugs. "You can try to talk Lena out of it but—" She sighs, Kara zipping away from her and back into the house likely to do exactly that. "But I don't think it'll work," she mutters. 

* * *

When Kara storms back in, Lena follows her into the living space and sits on the couch. Watches as she paces. 

“You think it’s a bad idea.”

“A  _bad_ —” Kara whirls on Lena, hands slamming onto her hips. “I think it’s a _terrible_  idea!”

“Why?”

“You’re putting yourself in danger. Needlessly.”

“Supergirl, you keep saying this won’t take long, that they’ll find him, but the truth of the matter is that it might take a very long time to track him down. Longer than a week. You and I,” Lena tells her, waving between them, “we don’t have that kind of time. You can’t babysit me forever and I have a company and employees that rely on me.” She’s annoyingly smart and calm about it and Kara sinks down onto the couch, leans her head into her hands. 

“It’s dangerous, Lena. If I’m not, if I’m not _with_  you, I can’t _protect_  you,” she whispers, and with all the confusion swirling around in her head Kara knows at least that she wants—needs—to protect Lena. To keep her safe. 

“You heard Agent Danvers. I’ll have protective gear. And you’re not leaving me,” she corrects. “You’re just pulling back so people think you have.”

“This is a mistake.”

Lena sighs. “I can’t make you understand—”

“No. You can’t.” Kara is surprised by the anger in her voice, but the more she hears it, the more she feels it, bubbling away just under her skin. “You can’t make me understand how putting your life in harms way is a smart move. You can’t make me understand how taking _stupid_  risks and sending me _away_  so I can’t do my goddamn _job,”_  she snaps _,_ “is a good idea.”

“I have to do this.”

“Is this to prove yourself once again?” Kara asks her, hands clenching in her lap. “Is this because of your brother? Because you think you have to be some, some _martyr_?”

“Do _not_ talk about my brother,” Lena bites out, standing.

Kara rushes to stand with her and this time, Lena doesn’t flinch away. She lifts her chin and meets Kara head on. 

“Your brother,” Kara says, dropping the words between them, and Lena’s eyes flash in response, “is a madman. Whatever there was between you is gone.” She remembers Astra, their spy beacon clicking against a prison wall, and her aunt telling her terrible truthful things about her mother. Hurt rips through her, and anger colours her words heavier than before with little kindness to temper them now. “You’re too smart to pretend, Lena Luthor. Whatever love was there has been twisted into something else. Something possessive and obsessive and _wrong_  and it’s not up to you to take on the crimes of your brother. You do not have to repent for _him_. For _his_ crimes.”

“You don’t know what I do or why I do it, Supergirl,” she hisses, jaw tight, hands in fists at her side. “Do not presume that you do.” She spins on her heel to head back to her bedroom and Kara lets her go. 

She’s about to close the door when Kara adds, “You put more lives than just your own in danger if you go out there to taunt him.”

“That is something I will have to live with.” Lena pauses in the doorway, turns back. “I do not need your permission to do this. But,” she nods her head ever so slightly, “I do want your help still.”

It feels like an age before the anger, the fear, begins to settle inside Kara. Before she can look at Lena and not feel everything inside her twisting unhappily, before fear stops dashing thousands of terrible ways this could end up across her eyelids. 

Kara lowers her head, runs a hand through her hair. “You have it,” she sighs, and the tension eases. “I don’t agree with this plan, I don’t _like_  it,” she insists, and Lena nods. “But I will help you.”

"That's more than I expected from you," Lena says so quietly Kara's super hearing almost doesn't catch it.

When the door closes, Kara listens carefully. She hears lena settle in her bed and copies her, lays down on the couch and lets her breath rush out, trying to push her anger and her agitation out with every exhale. 

It takes a very long time for Lena to sleep and Kara is left exhausted when her anger drains away, replaced only with a slow creeping fear and worry. She doesn’t realise when her eyelids close longer with each blink until finally, Lena’s heartbeat steady in the next room, she sleeps too. 


	8. Chapter 8

Kara wakes up to the smell of coffee and bacon and she curls onto her side, sighs sleepily into the couch cushion. After a long minute of sleepily muttering and turning her face to find that elusive sunbeam that usually streams through Alex’s windows, she gives up and rubs her nose with the back of her hand, then both eyes with loosely curled fists. Rolling off the couch to her feet, she scrapes her hair back off her face and stumbles toward the kitchen. Her cape tangles around her legs and she stumbles forward, catches herself and jerks upright—into the realisation that she is with Lena, not her sister.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Lena greets her from across the apartment and Kara blames the way sleepiness still shrouds her for the way her body warms at the words and the low, teasing way it’s said. She’s standing in front of the stove and making— _R_ _ao_ help her, she’s making french toast and Kara’s mouth starts to water. “Hungry?”

A slow, low grumble grows into a veritable roar and Kara clamps both hands down onto her stomach in an effort to make it stop.

“I thought you didn’t like breakfast,” she says as a distraction.

“I don’t.” Lena nods to the clock on the wall and Kara flushes when she sees how late it is. “This is brunch,” she crinkles her nose expertly and Kara is at a loss for breath, “at a stretch and I do like brunch. You like french toast, right?” When Kara just stares at her for a long moment, Lena rolls her eyes. “It’s not poisoned, Supergirl.”

“I’m sure it’s not. Have faith in your skills, Lena, it smells really good.”

Lena blinks and a slow, almost shy smile spreads over her lips. “I meant I, a Luthor, won’t poison you, a Super.”

“Oh.” Kara rubs at her eyes again. “That’s nice. May I have some of this bacon?”

From the corner of her eye, she sees Lena wave her hand in permission and Kara happily piles most of it onto her plate, snags a few pieces of fruit too.

_“Rao_ , I’m _starving_.” She’s halfway done—groaning a little, moaning a little, humming a little—when she remembers her manners and slows, wipes her mouth with the corner of a napkin and clears her throat. Lena looks back over her shoulder to Kara and she’s soft, barefoot and hair in a loose bun, free of her sharp suits. Kara knows she’s blushing again so she wipes at her mouth a second time and tries not to rip the cloth when she hides her hands under the table, twisting them together to say, “This is really good. _R_ _eally_ good. My compliments to the chef.”

Lena inclines her head, an amused smile in place. She sets their toast down in the middle of the table and serves herself slowly.

“I admit, I have ulterior motives in making this brunch for you.” Kara widens her eyes comically, fork almost to her mouth, and she grins when Lena laughs. “Cute,” Lena snipes. “It’s still _quite_ safe, I assure you.”

“I ate half,” Kara scans the plates, “maybe more, before you got the the table, Lena. I trust you.”

“Or you were too hungry to care.”

“It’s about half and half, I think,” Kara teases, and she lets herself appreciate the way Lena laughs, a quick little sound and then her amusement caught behind a pleased smile she shares with Kara, eyes glinting.

“Yes, well,” she drapes her napkin neatly over her lap, pours Kara a glass of water and then herself. “I wanted to thank you. For looking out for me.”

“You don’t need to thank me. It’s my job.”

“Actually, it’s not. That’s what makes you remarkable.” Lena turns her cutlery over in her hands for a few moments.

Kara repeats the word to herself, silently. _R_ _emarkable._ She looks up against when Lena continues.

“I know this plan of mine, I know you don’t like it.” When Kara lowers her fork, Lena leans in, voice quick and urgent. She wraps cool fingers around Kara’s wrist and holds her still. “Please. Please listen to me.”

Kara nods and, with faint disappointment, she feels Lena’s fingers slip away.

“I am not a particularly good person,” Lena tells her with a little twist of her lips and hand. “I admit that readily. I’m selfish and determined to the point of obsession, which is something…something that all Luthor’s struggle with. I’m conceited. Vain, too. And I have something of a temper when things don’t go my way. But I am _trying_ ,” she huffs, aiming for a laugh that falls flat when she sees Kara’s face—she’s listening intently and trying her best to show no expression. It’s obviously important for Lena to tell her whatever she’s trying to say, so no matter how much Kara disagrees with what is being said, she can’t interrupt. 

“I’m trying to put these faults of mine to good purpose and the only one I have right now, my one chance, is my company.” Lena closes her eyes, folds her hands below the table. “It means _everything_  to me,” she breathes, opening her eyes again, and Kara can’t look away. “I know it seems crazy to hang onto things like this, a company started by my father who by literally all accounts was not a good man, and continued on by my brother who, well,” she wipes both hands on her napkin, from the middle out, over her thighs. “But regardless of their faults, this company means something to me. More than I can explain.” She peers over at Kara, a half-smile quirking one side of her lips. The look is almost defeated, Kara realises, like she’s planned out this conversation and this is the best way it could have gone and it’s still not going to be enough. “You don’t understand, do you?” She asks of Kara, very quietly. “How I can love them.”

Kara thinks of Astra then, but she knows the two aren’t the same. Where once Astra’s obsession was born of love—for her people, her planet, every other planet strange to her where its inhabitants hurtle it toward its doom—Lex Luthor fostered a kernel of hate, of jealousy, and let it fester. 

She shakes her head. “No,” she admits, because even if she tried to understand, that revulsion is there. The _pain_  Lex Luthor has caused her cousin, this world… It’s not something she can reconcile. When Lena’s face falls, she reaches over. Hesitates before she touches her, uncertain if it will be welcome. “Lena,” she says quietly, and she waits until the other woman looks up at her so there can be no mistaking her sincerity. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to understand _why_  to know that you _do_. And,” she continues, “I’ve told you before. You don’t need you to sell me on the merits of your company. Or your own. I,” she draws her hand back, reaches for glasses that aren’t there and smoothly turns her hand, swipes her hair back behind her ear instead. “I don’t think you give yourself enough credit. You—you say that you’re selfish but you put your company ahead of your own safety. And you say you’re obsessive but the proof I've seen of that is you working late hours and trying to fix global warming. And vanity?” Kara risks showing Lena what she thinks, puts a little weight, a little heat into the way she gazes over at her. “Deserved.”

Lena’s eyebrows lift and her mouth drops open. Kara waits, but it slowly becomes obvious that she’s surprised, not about to speak. 

“Anyway,” Kara looks away, willing her voice not to break or her face to flush because that would be _too_  embarrassing. “Even if you were a bad person, I’d still save you.”

“ _W_ _hy_?” The desperation behind it draws Kara back to her. Her eyes are so dark and her lips pale, pressed flat and tight. Her eyebrows jut firmly down into a frown. “ _W_ _hy_?” she demands of her again. 

Kara glances around their little safe house thoughtfully, drags a finger through the sugar on her toast. She can sense Lena winding tighter as she has to wait for Kara’s answer but she has to wait, because the words aren’t settling right in her head and she can’t say the way she feels about this. Finally, the only words left to her end up being quite simple. 

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

* * *

They’re washing their plates when Lena cocks her head to the side, turns with curious eyes to Kara. 

“So, you’re saying I  _didn’t_  need to bribe you with breakfast?”

* * *

“ _L_ _corp is very proud to announce a new direction moving forward. But first, a quick look behind at what we have achieved.”_  Lena pauses to smile at the crowd and a few intrepid reporters push to the front of the crowd to snap some photos and to record her speech. Her smile turns the tiniest bit more genuine when she makes out one kind, familiar face. _“F _or a month, we have been striving to create a company that is proud and eager to serve. T_ hat month is over. And we have reached and surpassed every goal that has been set. I could not be more proud of the people who work so hard every day to make our dreams possible. Our dream, to provide a range of services from clean energy, to innovative technology in communication and gaming and security as well as much more. Our dream, to contribute to charities and organisations here at home and abroad. Our dream, to educate and to provide exciting internships and career opportunities. All of this to improve the lives of the great people of National City. And soon, I am happy to announce, our expansion into our sister city—Central City!”_

“Did you know about that?” Alex murmurs into her ear and Kara shakes her head ever so slightly. “No, me neither. Damn, she makes good speeches though.”

“Really good.” Kara scowls. “I think she stayed up all night writing it.”

“You _think_? You don’t know?”

“I may have fallen asleep,” she admits, and Alex nods. “Things got a little heated after you left. We,” she purses her lips. “Exchanged words.”

“You got upset because this is risky and you don’t want your new friend to get hurt,” Alex translates, and Kara shrugs because _friend_  might not be the word she would use but the rest is pretty accurate. “It’ll be okay. J’onn is helping out, he’s around here somewhere. And we have so many plain clothes out here I think most of these reporters are actually our people.”

It’s obvious that Alex is just saying that to make her feel better, and Kara lets it work. She breathes out slowly and nods. “You’re right. This is fine.”

“Miss Luthor will now be taking questions,” Jess says to the crowd and the press of noise that comes immediately sends Kara’s heart rate skyrocketing again. 

"Miss Luthor, Miss  _Luthor_ ,” one persistent reporter establishes himself as the loudest. “What do you have to say about these most recent attacks? Most notably, the gas device that filled your private elevator _and_  the explosive device in your car that has landed your driver in hospital. Any comments about those incidents?”

Lena nods slowly and Alex makes a small, impressed noise at her composure. “My driver is a dear friend of mine and you can rest assured that his medical needs will be taken care of as if he were family. We have, of course, increased security. I will not let whoever is behind these attacks endanger the lives of my staff.”

“And any comments on the timely save by Supergirl?” he asks. The question earns him several filthy looks by nearby reporters, no doubt itching to ask the same. 

“All I can tell you is that I am very lucky that she was there.”

“Isn’t it true that she has been your personal bodyguard for the last few days? Why is it that she isn’t here now? Has the attacker been apprehended?”

Kara nudges Alex when she starts to mouth the answer they crafted together. “Stop that.”

“Shh, you want to record this for Biter.”

“His name is _S_ _napper_.”

“Whatever, he’s an ass.”

“Supergirl has been incredibly gracious,” Lena tells the reporters, and she grips the edge of the podium closest to her body. Kara is the only one who can see how tightly. “We were taking every precaution but no attack was repeated so I was confident that no more aid would be necessary. As lovely as her company is,” Lena smirks, “Supergirl has a duty to the entire city.”

“Alright, thank you for your questions,” Jess calls to the crowd, and she lays a hand on Lena’s arm to guide her away. 

One last question is shouted out to her from toward the back of the crowd and it makes Lena stop and turn back. “Are you afraid that you will be targeted again, Miss Luthor?” 

She keeps her face masterfully impassive and Kara can’t be sure if the brief flicker is intentional or not. 

“I have every faith in my security team. Thank you.”

Kara waits for her to get a good head start before she pushes through the crowd after her. The wait for an elevator is agonising and relief only comes when Kara listens and watches through the floors to make sure that Lena is safe. She steps into her elevator as Lena settles behind her desk and, when she steps out onto Lena’s floor, Jess doesn’t look surprised to see her. 

“Kara Danvers for you, Miss Luthor,” she says, pressing the intercom, and she waves Kara on through.

Lena gives her a little smile and it’s warm enough that Kara remembers with a little jolt that the last time she had seen Kara, they had kissed. Her cheeks heat instantly and it prompts a lovely laugh from Lena. she stands, makes her way around the desk. 

The way she leans back against it is nothing short of provocative and she looks very pleased when Kara looks back over her shoulder to make sure the door is closed. 

Also, and Kara will never admit this, to make sure that she is the only one in the room. The only one Lena could be looking at like _that_. 

“I saw you at the press release.”

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Kara tells her quietly. “A big risk, don’t you think?”

Lena shrugs. “You sound like Supergirl. She doesn’t like the idea of, well, using me as bait, I suppose.” Her eyes flash and she pushes away from her table, halves the distance between them. “Did you come for a private interview?” she asks, and Kara is pretty sure she’s suggesting something else entirely. 

“I—I came to make sure that you’re okay.” She licks her lips and slips her phone into her pocket when it starts to creak in her hand. Her notebook isn’t fairing much better but it’s just paper, she can smooth it out if it gets crumpled. “I still have that thing.” She says it like an apology and Lena’s smile softens into something less intensely predatory. 

“A shame. It would certainly take my mind off all this.”

Kara licks her lips again. The distance between them suddenly seems smaller, but Lena hasn’t moved. “Maybe it’ll make you feel better to know that an engineer with the skills to make the bombs was found in a warehouse downtown.”

“Alive?”

Kara grimaces. “No.”

“How would that make me feel better?”

“At least we know who your attacker got help from?” she suggests. She takes another step forward—oh, it’s _her_ , _she’s_  the one moving closer to Lena—and she looks determined down at her notebook to see if there is anything else she can tell Lena. But then a hand settles on her hip and she glances down at it and then up at Lena and her notebook slips from her hands. “Lena,”

“Kara.”

“This is a bad idea,” she murmurs, mostly to herself, but that’s definitely her hand laying on Lena’s shoulder and sliding up her neck and cupping her jaw and that’s her thumb, stroking the tiniest bit over Lena’s cheek. And she’s leaning in and she presses her temple to Kena’s, breathes out shakily. 

“Kara,” Lena murmurs with great concern, “you’re _trembling_.” Her hands move from Kara’s hips to her back, loop her into a hug that if it’s meant to be soothing does _not_  work very well. Every sweep of Lena’s hand up and down her spine makes Kara shake. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this.”

“Do what?”

Their voices are so quiet, just for the other, and each word feels wrong to Kara like she’s fracturing this moment. All she wants is to sink into the feeling of Lena, arms around her, the knowledge that if she leans back and looks at her, Lena will look back with dark eyes and a wonderfully wicked intent. 

“I’m not, if you knew,” Kara tries, and Lena shushes her gently. 

“Whatever it is, Kara, I’ll give you whatever you need. Time? You have it.”

“ _D_ _o_  I?” Kara demands of her, leaning back, and a familiar fire sparks in her chest. “Because you’re putting yourself in harms way and that’s not good enough.” Lena is just _looking_  at her and Kara knows that if Supergirl couldn’t get her to reconsider, then she stands no chance. Her phone pings and she reaches for it. Lena’s hand slips around her wrist, holds her still. 

“Kara,”

“I have to answer that.”

“This isn’t some foolish pretence, I have a plan,”

“You aren’t a god, Lena Luthor,” Kara bites out, and she pulls away from her. “You are human and _fragile_. Plans go wrong.”

“I’ll be fine.”

She says it with such confidence and Kara takes in her lifted chin, the way she doesn’t reach for Kara again. This time, there is no flash of insecurity, of doubt, and Kara is thrown trying to guess whether this is the real Luthor mask or if she really _does_ think her plan is foolproof. 

There is nothing left to say—the moment is broken—and so Kara stoops to collect her notebook and the pen that rolled away. She checks her phone too. It’s a message from Winn and she slips it back into her pocket. 

“It’s my boss. I have to go.”

Lena nods. 

She’s almost at the door when Lena calls after her, hesitant. “When this is all over, Kara, you’ll come back. Won’t you?”

Kara stops with her fingers on the door handle and drums out her own hesitation. Finally, she looks back over her shoulder and nods. If she’s okay and if Lena is okay and this whole thing, miraculously, works out… She wants that. Lena. 


	9. Chapter 9

Kara spends her evening writing an article for Snapper and _stressing_. 

Once she’s done—with minimal proofreading and she’s pretty sure she’s made about twenty mistakes but whatever, someone’s _life_  is in danger here so forgive her if she’s not entirely focused on ‘pelicans the dirty and the dead part two’ that he made her write—she alternates between sitting next to Winn at his desk and pacing the height of the shiny DEO building. 

“Oh, hey. Hey!” Winn calls out to her when she’s lazily looping the top of the building where they keep the vending machines—and perhaps taking her time about it because from this angle, if she leans a little, she can see Lena’s apartment building. Not well enough to make out if anyone is in there but enough that she can see it’s not, like, on _fire_. “ _K_ _ara_ ,” he yells. “Snapper replied.”

“Great.” She sits on the rail and makes uncomfortable eye contact with an agent who has just figured out that she raided _everything_  from the vending machine—relents enough to throw them a healthy nut bar because if she’s honest about it, she’s not going to eat that if she has a choice at all—and she flips backwards and floats down to Winn’s level. She throws herself into the seat next to him and he catches it before she can knock into the desk and his very technical instruments. Like that little robot toy. And a small figurine of Clark they both pretend she doesn’t see.

“Ooh Cheetos.”

“Mine,” she tells him, a little distracted by the _one new email_  notifcation on her phone. 

“You have seventeen bags of whatever, Kara, you can spare the Cheetos.”

“I am stress eating my feelings, Winn,”

“You’re being a jerk,” he tells her flatly, and Kara scowls and flings his stupid bag of Cheetos to him. “Thank you.”

“Whatever.”

“And I’ll ignore your mood,” he tells her graciously, spinning in his chair, “because I know that this thing with Lena has you worried—”

“No it doesn’t,” she scoffs.

For an entire spin of his chair he just stares at her and Kara rolls her eyes. “And also because your new job with Snapper is insanely rough. Hey! You could work here full time! Super friends,” he sings, “together again!”

“Mm,” she says. She _doesn’t_  say that it sounds like the worst idea ever because as much as she loves J’onn and her sister, having to answer to them in an official capacity would be the worst. And also, getting to turn off being Supergirl, even for a little while, is...she needs it. And minus Snapper, reporting is kind of amazing and she feels like an idiot for not realising that she wanted to do it earlier. but it’s always been _C_ _lark’s_  thing and she’s been so hesitant stepping into anything Clark has done, partly because she knows that no matter what follows she will always, always be Superman’s cousin—she came second, that’s just how it’s going to be, she can’t change that—and because she didn’t want it to look like she was copying him or following in his footsteps. The admiration is there, the love too, but she needs to know that this is _her_  choice, _her_  decision, _her_  life.

“You okay there?” Winn asks, and Kara follows his line of sight to the now crumpled arm of her chair. 

“I’m—Can you just open it for me? The email?”

“Sure thing.” A few seconds on his computer and _her_  computer is dinging the email open. She squints over at him. 

“I just meant click it? That’s terrifiyng.”

“I got mad skills.”

“It’s _terrifying.”_

_“Y_ our security is terrifying. Terrifyingly _bad_.” He points to her. “I need to talk to Alex about that, we need to upgrade it so no one hacks Miss Grant's old assistant and figures out she plays fantasy kryptonian soccer with her cousin on the weekends.” He turns away before she can answer—she won this season so that’s actually over and they don’t talk about that anymore because her baby cousin is a sore loser—so she peers through one hand at her email and pops open a packet of chips with the other. 

DOUBLE SPACING IS FOR 4TH GRADERS

That’s it. That’s all that Snapper has sent back and Winn yelps when she slaps his arm hard enough to bruise. 

“I’m delicate, Kara! Also,” he grimaces, “you’re _happy_  about that? Jesus, he’s meaner than Cat ever was.”

“She wasn’t that bad.” At a look from winn, Kara relents. She grins a little. “Okay, she was pretty bad. But you know, she called you handsome once.” When he brushes his hands down his shirt, licks Cheeto powder from his thumb and forefinger and lifts his chin with a proud little tilt, she adds, “A handsome little hobbit.”

That brings his chin down again and he frowns. “Oh. _W_ _ell_ ,” he leans into the word, squinting thoughtfully before he smiles again. “You know what, I’ll take it. That’s a pretty decent Cat compliment and also,” he points to her, raises his eyebrows, “hobbits have better hearts than the best man could hope for so really, that’s an awesome compliment. Not that miss grant knew that,”

“She’s kind of a nerd actually. But she was just talking about you being short, I think.”

“Right, right.”

“But you’re right, it’s one of the nicest ones I ever heard. And I have,” she tugs on her ear lobe. Winn nods.

“True, true, your alien ears have some _mad_  distance to them. But,” Winn spins quickly toward her, excited, “here is the real question. Are you listening?”

“Of course. Hit me—don’t _actually_ hit me, you’d break your hand, the phrase just means go for it,”

“Kara, I know what it means,”

“I'm just making sure,”

“Okay!” Winn laughs. “The question _is..._ What is the _meanest_ thing you ever heard Cat Grant say?” Kara pales and Winn whistles. “That bad?

“She made ordinary verbs strange and horrifying,” Kara whispers, and when he leans in, she shakes her head. “I can’t repeat it. I  _can’t_.”

“Whoa.”

After a moment of consideration, she adds, “Most of her comments were really funny. Do you remember that time she told Sam that if he took any longer to deliver his articles, she’d put him on the endangered animals watch list right between sloths and slow loris and then she’d take steps to put him on the extinct list?”

Winn sighs dreamily. “She sure has a way with words. I admire and fear her in near equal measure.” Kara stares over at him, cheeks bulging with food but still managing to look disbelieving. “What?”

“Equal?”

“No. So much for your excellent alien hearing,” he grumbles. “I said _near_ equal. _Ne_ _ar_. And, yes, maybe fear was a little higher but I don’t work for her anymore and she’s not in the city so I don’t have to be scared of running into her at the arcade with Carter so,” he trails off, frowning at his screen.

“So, you’re less scared of her the further away you are?” Kara laughs. She falters, then stops, taking in his suddenly engaged posture and the concentration on his face. “Winn? What is it, what’s wrong?” Even as she asks, her heart thumps hard against her sternum and she knows, she _knows_ , it’s Lena. She wraps her hands tight around the edge of the desk so that she stays put and waits for some actual information to go off. 

“I—I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m looking at,” he mumbles, and he types for a few seconds. The map on his second screen zooms in and she leans in too.

There are four small lights on the screen that she hadn’t seen before. “Those are,”

“New. Yes, very new. A minute ago new.”

Kara frowns, sets their placement in her mind. “That’s Lena’s apartment,” she tells him, low and angry, and before he can say anything else, she speeds to the window and flings herself out of it. 

“ _Co_ _me in, supergirl_ ,” Winn’s voice crackles into her earpiece. “ _O_ _verreact much? It’s her neighbourhood and that’s not even a weapon signature. We could be looking at civilian machinery.”_

"First of all,” she bites out, and shoots between the bars of a crane, “you have all the signatures for civilian machinery so you can cross check that.” A beep tells her that he’s done just that and his somewhat weighted silence lets her know that she’s right, that it isn’t anything he’s seen before. “Secondly, all of them are equidistant to her apartment.”

“ _N_ _o they’re not,”_

_“Yes_ , four point six kilometres from her apartment. Along the streets.”

“... _O_ _kay, so kudos on your intense brain skills. Also, what does that mean? Four point six kilometres? Why that? What are they?”_  He mutters to himself for a minute about codes and frequency and Kara steps onto a roof just shy of the first marker.

“I don’t like this.”

“ _It_ _might be nothing.”_

_“Winn.”  
_

_“You’re right, circumstances suggest it’s more likely to be something. A big, messed up something. Also, not that I like the dude at_ all _, but Lex Luthor,”_

_“_ Don’t say it,” Kara sighs and though it can’t really throw her off balance, the way the wind buffets against her sends her cape whipping and the motion is distracting. So she crouches at the edge of the building and she thought that this would make her feel very cool, but she’s still just scared. “I don’t care how smart he is, Winn, don’t say it.”

“ _N_ _o, you’re right. You’re right. okay.”_ She hears him pop his knuckles and she grins, a little grim. “ _O_ _h ho, a little jammy-jam action, I see.”_

"Jammy jam?”

“ _H_ _ey, I don’t make fun of the way you punch people and throw things, do I?”_

“No, I guess not.” She gazes down to the city below, scanning for any suspicious activity. Quietly, she adds, “But that’s because I'm cool.”

“O _uch. Real cold. You got me, right here.”_  He thumps what she’s assuming is his heart, and then he’s typing again. “ _S_ _o this frequency is jamming receptors on a certain wavelength. I still don’t know what the equidistant street thing is about,”_

Kara nods, trying to figure that out for herself. 

“ _B_ _ut I think the main issue here is that our man is trying to stop people from being able to call in or out.”_  He hesitates. “ _Wh_ _at do you want to do?”_

“It could be a trap.” Kara shifts thoughtfully. “Okay, how about this—I fly over, see if Lena is there and in trouble. You keep analysing the frequency and—”

“ _K_ _ara, I hate to stop you there but we have a problem. I swear, I didn’t touch them but the frequency is down.”_

_“_ What’s the problem with that?”

“ _U_ _h, well,”_ he clicks a few buttons and gulps. “ _T_ _he frequency was the only thing stopping them from being explosives.”_

“ _B_ _ombs?”_   Kara hisses, but before Winn can answer, her earpiece clicks off. Whoever planted the bombs just turned the jamming signal back on, she guesses, and bigger and better than before. They don’t want her having any help, clearly. “Okay. Four bombs. Not sure about a countdown. Or if someone is attacking Lena right now.”

Four bombs. 

Or Lena.

She wavers where she stands before she jumps and hurtles across the top of buildings. Away from the first bomb but over the top of Lena’s apartment, so she can scan it for any sign of life. But there’s nothing, and Kara has to take that as a good sign and assume that Lena is safe and sound in her office working late. That Winn will contact her agents and let them know what is going on. 

And meanwhile, she has four bombs to contend with.

The first she finds tucked under a car. The second, inside an air-conditioning vent and she knows the family she sees through the window isn’t pleased when she punches into their machine—she’ll have to get that replaced at some point—but she assumes they would like even less if their apartment exploded.

This attacker, whoever they are, has no qualms with risking civilians in this game and Kara feels a chill rush through her.

The third is sitting in a storm drain and the fourth, the fourth she can’t see and the ominous ticking—she feels like people don’t _need_ to make bombs that tick anymore so this is just for the added factor of being annoying—counts down the remaining seconds.

1:16.

1:15.

“Supergirl?” A young voice gets her attention and Kara pales when she sees the child standing with a box in her hands, suspiciously the same size as the bombs Kara holds.

A fountain tinkles sweetly behind her, a family rides by on their bicycles, the sun is just setting, and Kara knees slowly in front of the girl and feels her heart stop beating. The air rushes in her ears and she has to force a smile.

She slips a hand underneath both of the girls' hands. 

“He told me not to move,” she whispers to Kara, and Kara nods to her.

“You’re so brave, you're doing so well. Where are your parents? Are they here?" She follows the way the girls eyes cut sideways and sees a man crouching only a few feet away. He doesn’t look like he even sees Kara—only his daughter. Just her. “You did so great,” Kara murmurs, and she slips the package from her hands and pushes her lightly over to her father and leaps into the air, as fast as she possibly can. 

She pays no mind to the delicate sound glass makes when it drops to the ground, but some distant part of her hopes that no one is hurt by it. The air cracks around her a second time—she has to go _faster_ —and Kara hurtles dizzyingly fast toward the bay.

The ecologists are going to hate her. Oil spill? What oil spill? Remember the time she literally blew up the fucking bay?

She dives into the water. It becomes dark around her so quickly, Kara doesn’t know how deep she is and she keeps diving, keeps swimming down just in case. When the pressure starts to register, she guesses she’s gone far enough—hopes so, because through the murk and muck she can faintly make out the numbers.

0:04. 0:03.

She pushes them down further, the water making the move softer, more gentle than she would like, and turns. She shoots toward the surface. The concussive force of the bombs carries her up, flings her out of the water—she didn’t get far enough, obviously—and when she lands, the fall is long enough that even the choppy water feels solid and strong as concrete. 

She knows she has to swim, that she has to get to shore. But her body feels so heavy and every bit of her aches in a very unpleasant way. And her _cape_. She never knew it could feel so heavy. 

“ _S_ _upergirl!”_

Water slops into her mouth and stings her eyes and she’s sinking again. It’s dark all around, different shades but she can’t get her eyes to focus long enough to figure out which way is supposed to be up. 

And she can’t make out a single star. 

A hook grates against her skin. She reaches up, makes out enough of it—long metal pole, sharp hook—and she slips her arm into the crook of it, lets it hook around her elbow. She tries to move with it, to help whoever is trying to pull her from the water, but she’s not sure how much help she’s being. Her ears are ringing and her nose and mouth are full and everything feels at once too fast and too slow, and soft. Surprisingly soft. 

“ _C_ _ome on, supergirl, stay with us._ ”

She bumps up against something hollow. Mostly hollow. A little hollow. Empty, she thinks, open? It makes more sense when hands grip at her shoulders, her cape, and tug her up and over the side of the boat. 

“You’re not small, that’s for sure,” someone huffs with a voice like a rasp, and there are a couple of tired laughs. “Come on, love,” they say, and she is being turned onto her side and someone pulls her hair back carefully from her face when she coughs up what feels like the entire bay. “There you go, there you go. Davey?”

“Headed home.” 

She blinks her eyes open when someone wipes her face with a damp cloth—happily salt free—and bright lights cut through the sea spray and now, finally, she can see the stars. The stars are moving too fast. Or, maybe it's her? And the wind whips fast and cold around her. 

A heavy weight settles over her, stiff and salty. 

“It’s just a tarp, haven’t got anything else,” someone tells her, and she has a voice sharp like the bird that turns circles over boats and pecks at hands on the beach, and she speaks to Kara calmly, telling her about their boat and their haul for the day, and Kara thinks she makes a joke about an unexpected catch that, if she could focus a little better, is probably about them pulling her from the water. She speaks to Kara until the boat grates up against its mooring.

“You reckon she should even—getting up? —some fall,” Kara hears, and she’s not sure if he’s turning away or if her hearing is faltering like the rest of her strength. 

“How should I know? Look at her, she’s trying though.”

Is she? Kara hadn’t realised. But now that she thinks about it, she’s rolled onto her front and her arms are shaking but she still manages to push up. Sit back onto her knees. 

“Easy there,” the third one says, and he steadies her with a hand the size of a dustbin lid.

“Hagrid?” she mumbles, and apparently opening her mouth is the signal to her body to throw up the rest of the sea water in her stomach. It splatters, hot, against the deck and stings her nose and throat. “’m sorry,”

“There you go, no harm done, there you go.”

“We should get her off the boat. Beth?”

“I got her. You steady it for us.” 

Kara twists her hands to grip onto the offered arm and she staggers with her onto the dock, more or less falls onto it. Then the world is falling away again, but in a good way this time and the arms around her are warm.

“You’re _strong_ ,” Kara mutters, and curls into her. 

“Well,” she laughs. “Not as strong as you are. But have you ever seen a bass? I caught a five footer once.”

“Not this story _again,_  Beth.”

“I have Supergirl in my arms, Davey, I'm going to tell her.” Kara wriggles a little, panics when she feels hands at her cape. “Hey, no, it’s okay. It’s just heavy. Russ is going to carry it for you. It’s alright.”

She fades out for a minute—possibly longer—and comes back in flashes. When she’s jostled up into the cabin of a truck, when the truck rumbles to life, when a towel is draped around her shoulders. Then, not again for some time until a hand is at her shoulder. 

“Supergirl?” 

She comes back to a crackling on the radio and then a voice.

“ _S_ _upergirl? This is agent danvers. We have your location. We're coming._ "

Kara can feel the truck slowly and she pats weakly at the driver. “Luthor.”

“A  _luthor_  did this to you?”

“No.” She coughs, grimaces at the taste of salt and something grittier like dirt, or ash. “No, please, take me to L Corp.”

“Your agent friend is coming to us,”

“ _P_ _lease_ ,” she whispers, and the silence is heavy enough that without opening her eyes Kara can tell they’re exchanging looks over her. “Please.”

* * *

A dark SUV flashes its lights at the truck three streets away from L Corp and Kara comes awake when she feels them rumble to a stop.

“The traffic should be fine,” she mumbles and points down the road. “You can take a left here.”

“I think we’re being redirected,” one of them tells her, and she makes herself sit up. She takes her cape back—they had pillowed it under her head, she realises, and she’s overwhelmed for a moment with fondness for these strangers—and clips it to her shoulders. “Need any help?” he asks her, and his eyes are soft over a rather fearsome black beard flecked with silver scales. 

“No, no, it’s alright.” She can pick Alex out of a crowd anywhere and here, where it’s just her hopping from the back of the car, it’s way too easy. “I know her.”

“Alright.”

Beth climbs out first, helps her down, and Kara’s limits are down. she’s too exhausted to block everything down so she sinks into the way these people feel safe and solid around her. Beth—and Davey behind her, passing Kara down to the ground—has large hands, and they’re gentle too, and calloused and scarred and she’s missing a sliver from her little finger and her clothes are stiff with salt and she smells like fish and oil and cold wind and it’s a good smell, it’s a safe smell, and they are both very gentle as they steady her while she waits for Alex to make her way across the street toward them. 

“Thank you,” Alex says to them, and her eyes are sharp and dark and her tone terse. Kara knows she’s in trouble. “For helping her.”

“Of course,” Davey says, and he looks uncertain for a moment whether he’s supposed to bow or salute or what and he ends up just nodding to her and offering Kara to her like a gift. 

“You alright, Supergirl?” Beth is sure to check and Kara turns back to her and smiles. 

“Yeah. Thank you.” She lets herself feel warm at the slightly suspicious look Beth is giving Alex. Alex could take her, easy, even if this woman is a good foot taller and wider, but it’s a nice feeling to see how protective she is. “Really. And thank you,” Kara grips onto her cape, feels more water squeeze out of it and slop around her boots. “For pulling me from the water. Both of you. And to Russ, when you see him.”

“Oh yeah, we’ll let him know,” Davey says quickly, and he nods to both of them again quickly and nudges Beth. “Come on then. Real nice to meet you, Supergirl.”

“Thank you, Davey. Thank you, Beth.”

Alex waits until they are gone. Her arms stay crossed and then she puts a hand against Kara’s shoulder and shoves her across the road, into the alley behind her car. 

“Well?” 

She doesn’t look impressed when Kara stares at her blankly.

“What?”

“Are you _okay_?’

“I’m—” Kara is aching and _cold_ , which is new _,_ but she thinks she’s fine. Probably. “I'm okay. I just need to see Lena. She’s okay, right?” She stands up straight, head whipped to stare up the levels at Lena’s office. before she can see anything, Alex is shoving her again against the brick wall. 

“No. No way.”

“Alex, he attacked her _again_ , I need,”

“It means the plan is working. You’re going to stay out of sight or you’re going to ruin everything. This only works if—”

“It was never going to work! Screw the plan!” Kara turns away, hides the way she stumbles a little. She doesn’t succeed. Alex grabs at her to hold her steady. “He attacked and I almost didn’t save us, I almost didn’t win this time so _screw_  the plan. It’s a terrible idea anyway. What you _need_  to do,” she says, feeling anger and helplessness and fear bundle up under her jaw, around her throat tight and uncomfortable, “is do your job and not leave that to Lena to draw out her own attacker and stop him herself.”

It’s a sign of how far gone Kara’s powers are that she can feel the bruising way Alex grips at her. 

“I need to see her,” Kara tells her quietly. “If you don’t take me, I’m going to fly up there.”

“Can you even do that right now?”

“Want me to try?” Kara counters, and she meets Alex’s stubborn look with one of her own.

“Jesus.” Alex keeps one hand on her—which is good because Kara is swaying—and props the other disapprovingly on her hip. “I don’t,”

“Approve? Like it? I don’t _care_. I’m keeping her safe.” She makes to shove past her sister and is held embarrassingly still with one hand. 

Alex doesn’t say anything about it but Kara can read her expression loud and clear. “She’s not there,” she admits after a moment. Kara freezes and Alex relents, steps forward to hug her, rub her hands up and down her arms. “No, it’s okay, she’s at the DEO. She,” Alex watches her carefully and says, slowly, “got attacked.”

“ _W_ _hat_?”

* * *

“Are you okay?” Kara demands, storming into the room. She ignores the doctor in the corner of the room and sets her hands on Lena’s shoulders, drags them up to cup her jaw. She turns Lena’s head this way and that, peers into her eyes. She doesn’t _look_ hurt—she’s sitting up, her suit is crisp and clean, Kara can’t smell blood or anything like that, and Lena’s pupils are even, though they dilate a little as Kara watches. But that’s normal, she’s standing in her light. Kara sighs out, sags a little in place. “You’re okay. You’re okay?”

Lena’s eyes are wide when she pulls her face very slowly out of Kara’s hands. She puts her own hand between them and pushes her away, scoots further back onto the examination bed away from Kara. “I’m fine,” she says, very stiff and cool. 

“I was so _worried_ , Alex told me you were attacked,”

“It was nothing, a misdirect. I assume a taunt,” Lena tilts her head to the side, narrows her eyes. “If you had come to me instead of gone after those bombs,”

“I would’ve, I thought about it,” Kara admits very quietly, unable to stop the words because she had been blown up tonight, a little bit, and then almost drowned, and then found out that Lena might have been hurt, and everything is rushing around her and she’s not sure if she’s going to win next time but she is sure that when she looks at Lena, when she’s with Lena, it’s all... so much more. Not easier, never easier, but _more_. 

Kara steps in again, runs a hand over Lena’s hair and leans in. She pulls Lena into a hug and closes her eyes. She’s exhausted, so it takes her a minute to feel the way Lena struggles, pushing at her. 

“What are you _doing_?”

Kara lets her go instantly, dread seeping into her already chilled skin. “Lena?” 

She looks _angry_ , and Kara doesn’t understand where she’s gone wrong. 

“I will not be in your debt—”

“What are you talking about?”

“You would save _me?”_ She slips from the table and strides across the room, grabs at her purse. Kara moves to join her—stops when Lena turns and jerks a little, _away_  from her. 

“Lena, what—”

“You would save me, over your city? _W_ _hy_?” Lena asks her, and she’s struggling for cool. “Don’t _touch_  me,” she snaps. Kara pulls her hand back, stumbles backwards. “If this is some ploy,”

“What possible motive could I have?” Kara asks, shaking her head. Even that is an effort and she staggers back a little more, sits on the stool the doctor has long since abandoned. She’s quickly shutting down. Her lips feel numb and she knows the words sound it too. 

“I don’t _know_  but this?” Lena points to her, “this doesn’t make sense. Why would you even say something like that? Trying to, to endear me? Distract me? I know you, Supergirl. You would never pick me over your city, you don’t _do_  thingslike that, you—”

“Almost did.” 

The quiet words stop Lena short and the woman stares at her. Just...stares. 

Kara tucks her hands into her lap and ignores the way her hair, her cape, her boots, drip onto the floor beneath her. 

“ _W_ _hy_?” Lena asks her finally. 

“Because I,” Kara looks over at her and she can’t hide it, can’t even start to hide how she feels, the _fear_  she felt when she knew that Lena was in danger, and Lena’s eyes widen again.

With anger, still. 

Slowly, the anger fades. 

No. She hides it away. Neatly, under layers of determination and calm and something that looks horrifyingly like _pity_ and then Lena tilts her chin up and slips her purse strap up to her elbow. She holds it in front of her stomach like a barrier and says, very coolly, “I won’t be requiring your assistance anymore, Supergirl. I think it’s in everyone’s best interests if you stay away from me.”

Kara thinks she hears something snap. It would be dramatic if it were her heart but she can still feel it beating away so it’s not that. Maybe it was the table. She thinks she was holding onto that at some point. 

Everything feels fuzzy and Lena’s face blurs in front of her. 

She’s so tired. Kara closes her eyes and lowers her head, sighs. 

“If that’s what you want.”

She hears lena leave. Can’t stop herself from hearing her stop and talk quietly to someone. Can’t hear what, though. 

Alex is with her soon, and her hand curls around Kara’s wrist and it’s far warmer than her normal temperature.

“You got a fever?” Kara slurs, and she presses her free hand to Alex’s face. “You okay?”

“I’m alright,” she says soothingly. “Can I get some help here?” Alex says, to someone else, and then Kara is being lifted up onto the table. “Kara, you need to sleep. Can you do that for me?”

“You be here?”

“I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

“’kay.” Kara feels the first of the portable sun lamps click on and she lets herself relax, pops her first boot off and then the second. “She doesn’t like me,” she whispers, and Alex leans in. 

“What’s that?”

Alex’s eyes are dark and concerned, but they’re not the dark concerned eyes she wants to see. It makes it all hurt a little more and Kara shakes her head. 

“Nothing.”


	10. Chapter 10

“You shouldn’t be getting up,” J’onn tells her when she slips her legs off the side of her bed. He says it, even as he hands her a pair of glasses she keeps at the DEO. “It’s not like you were going to listen to me anyway,” he says to the way she smiles as she takes them. 

“I always listen to you."

“Well, you weren’t going to take my advice, then.”

“No,” Kara agrees, crinkling her nose as she laughs, “that’s not very likely.” Her laugh fades after a moment, turns soft and a little shy when he crosses his arms and stares down at her. She pushes a finger under the collar of her suit, scratches at her shoulder. It still hurts a little from where the hook had scratched her earlier. “What?”

“What?” J’onn shrugs. “I didn’t say anything.”

“But you _want_ to. I can tell because you’ve got your,” she waves a hand at him, “look on.”

“This is how I always look.”

“Because you _always_ want to say something.” Kara points to the pile of clothes Alex left for her. “Pass those? You can tell me what you’re disapproving of this time while I get changed.”

He hands them over and stays in the room while she changes behind the wall.

“I’m not disapproving,” he tells her, and when she scoffs at that, she hears him shift his weight and sigh.

“Did you just roll your eyes?” she asks, peering around the wall.

He frowns at her. “No.”

“Sure you didn’t.” Kara pulls back and finished buttoning up her shirt, pulls her sweater on over her head. “So you’re not disapproving?”

“No. I’m...  _worried_.”

“Worried?” Kara frowns at him, curious. She hops back into the room, loafers in hand, and tries to tug them on as she moves. It’s harder than normal, she still feels a little off balance, but she manages. "What about?”

“You.” Kara starts to shake her head—there’s no need to worry about her, she’s _fine_ , she’s almost recovered from her quick dip in the bay, she’s fine, _really—_ but then she’s watching him closely because his eyes flash red. And then J’onn is swivelling his head in an action she knows well, to check that no one is near them, that no one is loitering or able to hear them. When he uncrosses his arms and leans in, she’s almost expecting it. “You, and Lena Luthor.”

Kara ignores the way her chest tightens when she hears Lena’s name and she lifts a hand to stop him, really shaking her head. Firmly. With no room for him to ignore her. “You don’t have to worry about her. I  _trust_ her. Can’t you just, can’t you just trust in that? Just this once?”

“Kara,”

His quiet tone rankles. This irritability she feels is a new sensation—she scratches at her collar, at her slightly sore shoulder, the scratch there, again and she suspects it all has something to do with the hurt that lingers not far enough under the skin to stop it from stinging now and again and making her want to snap at anything that prods it—but she goes with it and lets it make her words a little sharper.

“She has done _nothing_ wrong, J’onn. _N_ _othing_. Don’t you dare villify her—I won’t stand for it.”

When she makes to shove past him, he lifts his arm across her chest, stopping her in place. They both know that she could break his hold in a moment and she’s seriously considering it, right up until the barrier his arm is making softens, and curls around her, and his other hand comes up to lay on her shoulder blade. He pats lightly there, twice, and says,

“That’s not to what I was referring.” His voice is so gentle, so careful, there is no mistaking what this conversation is about. 

“Oh.”

Kara tenses—she can feel his discomfort and she wonders if she should let him go, tell him that she doesn’t want—doesn’t _need—_ any help. But, she does. Want it. And she thinks she might want it from him, because his discomfort is fading and his arm shifts a little and she hasn’t felt enveloped like this, hasn’t felt _held_ like this for a really, really long time. She sags, all the stubbornness she was using to hold herself upright when all she wants to do is sink to the ground and maybe cry into an ice-cream carton for a day or three drains from her legs and she leans into him.

“She doesn’t like me,” she says into his shoulder, and J'onn sucks in a breath, pats her shoulder again. 

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

Kara brings her arms around his waist, lays her head down on his shoulder. “You didn’t—you didn’t _see_ her. The way she looked at me.” Kara pulls back quickly, spins away. She’s in the corner of the room, head bowed and fingers pressing against closed eyelids a second later.

“Here,” J’onn says, and she smiles when she sees him holding out a clean handkerchief. 

“Really?”

“I like to be prepared.”

“And black?”

“DEO issue. Goes with the outfit.”

He smiles a little when the comment makes her laugh and, when she makes her way back to her sun bed and sits on the edge of it, he follows her. Walks around and she twists to see him adjusting the lights so she can bask as they talk.

“It’s late,” he says quietly, “otherwise I would suggest we go flying for this. Enjoy the sun and the wind.”

The thought is touching and makes her throat tight for a moment, imagining it. She nods, takes a page out of Alex’s book and teases him instead of letting him know how much the offer means to her. “Going soft on me?” She nudges him with her elbow when he sits down next to her.

J’onn scoffs, crosses his arms again.

“I’ll have you know I’ve always been soft. It just takes a special person to bring it out in me.”

“Oh no, that’s so nice,”

“I mean Alex, of course.” He only laughs when Kara scowls, laughs harder when her scowl turns to a pout. When the last of his laughter fades, he sighs and turns to her, searches her face for a moment before he offers, “Would you like to talk about it?”

Kara considers that for a moment, twists his handkerchief in her hands.

“I kissed her,” she tells him, very quietly. So quietly, he can’t make out her tone. 

“And she...did not reciprocate?”

“No. I mean, yes, she did.” Kara twists the cloth tighter, bundles it in her hands instead when she feels the fabric start to give, to tear. “But...Kara. Not Supergirl.”

“Ah.” J’onn sits back, joins her in staring down at the floor. “I see.”

When he says nothing more, Kara fills the space that starts to open up around them, words flooding out. “She likes Kara. I think. I think she really likes Kara, but I don’t know why. All I know is that when she sees me, me _K_ _ara_ , she smiles at me and she laughs, really _laughs_ , and she talks to me differently. Like she actually wants to talk to me. And she asked me on a date and she kissed me back. But then when I’m,” she waves to her discarded suit, “she doesn’t...” Kara searches for the right words. “I don’t know. She seemed...”

“Upset?”

“No. _Y_ _es,”_ Kara says, a little sharp. “But that’s not, it’s not right.”

She’s relieved when J’onn falls silent again and just lets her think.

“This would be easier if we could talk like Martians do,” she tells him softly, leaning against him, and when he stiffens she is afraid that she’s said something wrong. But then J’onn lays his hand over both of hers and he won’t look right at her when he nods. “J’onn?”

“Yes, Kara?”

“If it were possible, would you—”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t finish,”

“You were going to ask if I would merge with you. I would.” She can’t stifle a giggle and J’onn rolls his eyes. “Kara.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she laughs. They both pretend they can’t hear how muted it is. “Can’t you say mind-meld or something? Merge just sounds so...”

“Oh grow up,” he grumbles and she huffs another laugh and scoots closer to him, leans her cheek on his shoulder. For a time, he is still and then he shifts a little, loosens his arms to make his shoulder wider, softer, more welcoming. 

“She looked at me like I was hurting her,” Kara whispers, and she presses her face harder into his shoulder, curls her own shoulders in. Never in her life—not when she first arrived, not when she broke the fortieth glass she was given and thought she was never going to get the hang of it—never has she wanted more to be ordinary. “ _H_ _ow_ ,” she tries to ask, voice cracking, and J’onn turns to enfold her in a hug. “How can she—how can we be anything if she _hates_ me?”

He offers no words of comfort but he grips her a little tighter until it almost hurts and he rocks her when her quick breathes turn into gulps, into sobs.

“I cried into your shirt,” she tells him, voice drooping apologetically, when she finally pulls away.

“I have others.” He takes in her pale face and the shimmer of tears. How she could possibly have _more_ tears she doesn’t know, but maybe it has something to do with extreme hydration from the bay incident. She has to look away when he pushes her hair back behind her ears and takes her head in his hands, kisses her forehead gently. It’s a tender motion and Kara closes her eyes, wraps her arms around her middle. “This woman,” he says when she leans forward into his shoulder. His voice rumbles from his chest all around her and she lets them soak in. “You care for her very much.”

“Yes.” No way to deny it now.

J’onn pats her shoulder blade soothingly for a while. Then, he says, “It would be a disservice to the both of you if you were to leave it like this.”

“She told me to stay away—”

“Kara.” he pulls back just enough to look down at her, face stern. “She doesn’t know half of who you are. It isn’t fair. To you, or to her.”

Kara finds she can’t meet his eyes and so she stares down at her feet instead, kicks them lightly against his shin.

“I know it is frightening. We have hidden ourselves away for years. But there are some people you do not want to hide from.”

“Aren’t you supposed to tell me to keep my identity a secret?” she laughs and he squeezes her shoulder. 

“Only when it keeps you from being hurt.”

“What if...” Kara gnaws at her lip, shakes her head. “What if telling her makes it worse? Makes it hurt _more_?” Kara thinks of the way Lena looks at Kara, all teasing smiles and soft eyes, hands that grip and don’t want to let go. Kisses that taste like she’s only just begun, like she’s teasing it out of her, and Kara doesn’t want to stop, doesn’t want to not know what comes next. But what if that’s not meant for her? What if this is all there is?

“Could you be with her now?” he asks. “As Kara? If she spoke to you, held you, would you be comfortable with that?”

“No, of course not!” she snaps, thinking first of how guilt twists inside her every time as it is. It hits her harder now, thinking of Lena eventually finding out, of the secret underpinning everything. Of how hard it would be to look at Lena and pretend, pretend that she doesn’t know how it feels for Lena to hate her. “No.”

“Then whatever way she takes it, you can’t not tell her.”

“I know.” Kara looks up at him. She smiles, even though her eyes feel bleak and sore. “I’m scared,” she tells him with a little laugh, shrugs her shoulders. 

“Well,” J’onn says, and he nods. “It can wait a little while.” He takes his place next to her again and a little of the tension in her chest eases, knowing that he’ll let her take her time. As much time as she needs. “For what it’s worth, though,” he tells her quietly, “if she can’t see you for who you are, what makes up _all_ of you, she isn’t as smart as I thought she was.”

* * *

Kara’s hands shake when she knocks on the balcony door. The sound makes Lena jerk—she sees her in her bedroom, working still even though it’s inching towards midnight, and Kara sees too the way Lena hesitates before she throws back her bedsheets and strides out into the living room.

She doesn’t come to the door. Instead, she stands a few feet away and stares at Kara—Supergirl, actually, cape, crest, and all—with a terribly cold expression.

“I know you aren’t an idiot,” she says, knowing Supergirl can hear her despite the reinforced glass, despite her quiet tone. “I asked you to leave me be.”

Kara shivers and turns to look over at J’onn. He shrugs and turns his back purposefully on her, to stare out over the city. 

“What do I do?”

“I only came to drop you off. This is your call.”

“ _J_ _’onn_!”

“She’s coming,” he tells her, and Kara turns back, tries not to trip on her cape. 

“If you’re not going to leave, you should come in.” Lena leaves the door open for her, gives J’onn a cursory curious glance. She makes her way back into the centre of the room before she speaks again. “I don’t need more attention right now, you see, and I really don’t need him seeing you and ruining my plan. In shreds as it might be.”

“The terrible plan, you mean?” Kara bites out. She can’t help it. She knows it is the wrong thing to say as soon as she says it but it's doubly confirmed when Lena whirls on her with narrowed eyes. “The plan that’s going to get you killed? That one?”

“Oh yes _please_ give me your opinion. And don’t skimp on the judgemental looks either, I don’t know _what_  I would do without those,” she snaps back. It’s surprisingly sharp, a _hot_ answer, fiery, where Kara has only known Lena to be cool and cutting. It does as Lena no doubt intends it to—makes Kara grind her teeth, makes her eyes flash, makes her want to shoot back something _mean_.

"Good thing you’re still alive to _see_ them.” She’s never been good at mean, but the derision behind it holds up well enough.

“Please,” Lena rolls her eyes, “I can do without the self-righteousness.”

Kara folds her arms over her chest and glares over at her. “You know what I could do without? I could do without _someone_ deciding to leave protective custody, taunting their attacker, and then deciding that _I'_ _m_ the bad guy because I want you to be safe.”

“Well I could go without some wannabee _hero_ thinking she knows everything, making everything about her.”

“Making it about _me?”_

“That’s right. And I could go without—”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Kara scoffs, but Lena talks right over her. Her words click out crisp and planned.

“—some girl with doe eyes and an inflated sense of morality thinking that anyone who thinks differently to her, anyone who doesn’t act like her, or _love_ her,” she bites out, making such deliberate eye contact Kara takes a step back, swallowing hard, “is a villain of their own. So much for trusting a Luthor.”

“I don’t think that! And this has _nothing_ to do with your last name!” Kara cries, throwing her hands up. She wants to _shake_  Lena. How can she not understand, how can she not _get_ this? “It has everything to do with you being safe. With this _city_ being safe!” Lena rolls her eyes and Kara steps forward again, only an arms length from her. Her hands shake with want when she’s this close to Lena so she curls them at her side. “I found four bombs, Lena— _four_! I got thrown a mile into the air by those things and I still can’t hear properly out of my left ear. What about next time? What if he decides that this was subtle and subtle isn’t working anymore? What if next time I can’t _save_ you?”

Lena’s jaw tightens and she glances away. “Well,” she says, and just because Kara can’t hear her heart very well like this, still a little powerless, doesn’t mean that she doesn’t know now that the mask is fake. Kara _knows_ she’s affected by this. She has to be. “You and I both know that you tried your best,” she says in a tight, sweet voice that stings. Because it kind of sounds like Lena thinks she hasn’t been trying. It kind of sounds like Lena thinks she _won’t_ try again.  

“You are _so,_ ” Kara shakes her head. 

“Like my brother? A novel taunt.”

“I wasn’t going to _say_ that,” Kara says, just short of a snarl. “Quick question, do you actually ever let anyone finish a sentence? Or are you so smart you think you can read minds now?”

“I don’t need to let you finish a sentence when I can read it all on your face, Supergirl. I rejected you and hurt your super feelings and now you want to pin this on me, tell me it’s _my_ fault I’m being attacked?” Lena juts her chin up, matches Kara’s glare with one of her own.

Maybe it’s the words that get through to Kara—maybe she’s just tired of fighting, because they certainly aren’t getting anywhere with this and it’s exhausting and a little scary to let her anger at everything take over and concentrate it against Lena. But she takes a step back and Lena’s glare falters, and that’s when Kara sees the very faint signs that Lena has been crying. Sees the slight red marks on pale skin where Lena’s fingers have been digging into her skin and Kara has to turn away.

“No. No, it’s not your fault. Whatever I say, I didn’t mean to insinuate that this is your fault,” she tells Lena softly. “And you might not believe me now but I really didn’t come here to fight you. And definitely, _definitely_ not because,” she swallows, steps slowly around the dining table until it’s between her and Lena. Even then she isn’t sure it’s far enough because everything is overwhelmingly _L_ _ena_ and she’s wearing her suit and her crest, _R_ _ao_ , it’s emblazoned over her chest so how can Lena not see that as some kind of a taunt right now when she _just_ told her that she wanted Supergirl to stay away. “I did hear you. And I’m going to do that. Stay away from you, I mean.” Kara can’t help the way her voice shakes and she glances up to see if Lena noticed. But Lena is impassive once more, leaning back against the kitchen counter. “I wanted to tell you that I will be looking out for you until after this threat has passed,” she says, a little more firmly. “I’ll stand by whatever restrictions you want. You won’t know I’m even there, or I'll check in with you when you want. Whatever makes you feel comfortable.”

Lena tilts her head thoughtfully and Kara is relieved that it looks like she’s actually listening to her. 

“I swear, I just want to know that you’re safe. I can’t say that I would do this for anyone. You,” Kara reaches up, tucks her hair behind her ear. Smiles softly over at Lena. “You’re different. You know that now, that I do have _feelings_ for you. But this isn’t about that. You said to me that it’s not my job to save people and you’re right. But I don’t,” Kara shrugs, “I don’t think it’s because I’m remarkable. I do it because I can, because I want to, but mostly I think I do it because I, I lost everyone that meant something to me once and I don’t want to go through that again. Or maybe,” Kara laughs a little, shrugs one shoulder. “Maybe I just want to keep you safe.”

She dares to look up at Lena again, a quick flick of her eyes, and she’s just _standing_ there. Staring at her.

Finally, Lena purses her lips and then sighs. “Are you done?”

Kara glances out to the balcony. She can see J’onn standing there still, with a little help from her x-ray vision, and she knows that if she doesn’t tell Lena now, she’ll regret it. She knows that he’s _right_. She just wishes that it was easier.

“I have one last thing,” she tells Lena softly, and she doesn’t imagine the flicker of annoyance that gets. “Please?”

Lena watches her carefully for a moment then glances to her watch. “I don’t really have time for this. Can it wait? I’ll sent Agent Danvers the schedule I’m willing to keep with you and her team.”

Kara swallows. She knows she should push but she doesn’t have the energy. So instead, she comes out from behind the table and makes her way to the balcony once more. Only, when she rounds the side closest to Lena, she can’t mistake the way Lena shifts away from her as anything other than mistrust, at least. And more likely fear.

She stops. Unable to look at Lena and _see_ it written there, she hangs her head. “ _W_ _hy_?” she asks her, very quietly. “Why don’t you trust me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Since the moment we met I have told you time and again that I believe you, that I trust you.” Kara’s voice sounds hoarse, strained, even to her own ears. It makes her want to curl up and hide away. But sometimes things are hard and she just has to face them. This is one of those things. She knows it with everything in her. “I trust you, but you keep...”

“I don’t owe you anything,” Lena hisses and Kara closes her eyes.

“Of course you don’t, that’s not what I  _mean._  But I don’t understand why you keep throwing it in my face. You second guess _every_ thing I do. Every decision I make. Even when I agreed with you, told you I would do things your way, I could see it. You asking yourself why. Why I agreed with you, what angle I was coming from.” Kara looks up finally, turns to Lena to let her see her confusion. Probably her hurt, too. “Why is it so hard for you to just accept it? That I want to look out for you. I,” her voice cracks and she looks up to the ceiling, swallows. “I don’t understand why my feeli—I don’t understand why this is a bad thing. And you aren’t obligated to tell me, I understand you don’t feel the same, I understand you might h-hate me? But if I could just know, if I could _understand,_ ”

“What you’re offering doesn’t make sense,” Lena interrupts her. After everything, she sounds almost gentle.

"Make...sense?” Kara repeats, cocking her head to the side.  “I’m not offering anything, I'm just,”

“You told me you would save me. Over your city.”

“I...” Kara remembers how she almost had, how she had flown over Lena’s apartment before she’d done anything else. She nods. “I know.”

“Why would you say something like that if you didn’t want something? Why would you say you would pick me over thousands? I can only imagine the price for it would be astronomical, that I would pay for it day after day,”

“No, Lena,”

Lena’s eyes are dark when she tells her, flat and firm, “I don’t accept what you tell me, I don’t accept what you want me to take, because I don’t know what your price is. Everyone wants _something_ , Supergirl, that’s how people work. They give you something and you take it and only then do you see the price attached.”

Kara wonders how early she learnt that lesson. She’s not even suggesting that it could be another way, that other people might see the world differently. Like that’s all she knows is true in others.

Kara shakes her head. “That’s not true.”

“No?”

“No! I don’t want anything from you! All I want is to know that you’re okay. Happy. Safe. And if I could help with that, of _course_ I would want that. But I, I don’t _want_ anything.”

Lena’s lips turn upward, her hands slip down her sides and she laughs a throaty little laugh that makes Kara flush. “I think we both know that’s not true.”

“Lena,”

“Is that what you want from me? Because I can give you that. A night to remember. I saw the way you looked at me, don’t forget that,” she says when Kara opens her mouth to argue. “You’re strong, sweet.” She looks Kara up and down with a gaze hot enough to scorch, lingering on her arms, her legs. “You’re right. You deserve a good fuck.” The word is hot from her lips and it makes Kara’s knees weak, face hot thinking of what Lena might do to her.  “I think you’ve earned that much,” she says, and Kara remembers this isn’t a nice offer. It’s more of a taunt than anything. “So what will it be? An orgasm for each time you’ve saved my life?”

Kara can’t stop her face from flushing hotter but she can stop herself from flinching at the offer—it’s what she wants, it _is_ , she wants to sleep with Lena, she wants to touch her and hold her and make her come, but it’s so much more than that and she knows that Lena can read it on her face again when Lena turns away sharply, lifts a hand over her eyes. 

“You don’t know me, Supergirl. Fly away.”

Kara sighs. This isn’t anything close to the way she had imagined it—dozens of times, trying to play out the right conversation, the right reactions. But she knows well enough that the right time may never come and this is an opportunity.

At least they’re not yelling at each other anymore.

“I do know you,” she tells Lena. “Better than you might think.”

“I know exactly what you think of me now, thank you,”

“No, Lena, you don’t. And this might be really selfish of me but I can’t _stand_ here anymore and listen to this, and I can’t stand the thought of anything more happening and you not knowing. I can’t stand _lying_ to you,” she whispers and spins away, rubs a hand over her face. “I trust you.”

“I might believe you more if you were actually looking at me when you said that.”

“I  _trust_ you,” Kara repeats, more firmly, and she does as Lena suggested, however sarcastically. She turns and looks her straight in the eye. “You are good, and smart, and I like and _trust_ you. I could tell you that every day and you still wouldn’t believe me though. So, I’m entrusting you with, with a secret.”

“I don’t need a secret,” Lena tells her wearily, sinking back against the kitchen counter again. “I just want to be left alone.”

Kara gnaws at her lip for a moment. Should she push? Should she just go? Lena keeps pulling back, pulling away, and Kara was so sure before she arrived that this was the right thing to do but now...

“I can’t do that,” she says quietly. “I promised to come back to you. When I figured it out.”

Lena’s eyes flash open and her head snaps to face her so quickly Kara is worried for a moment that she might hurt herself. She straightens, spine first, and then pushes fully to her feet. "What did you say?”

“I said,” Kara licks her lips. “That I promised to come back.” Lena is still staring at her and Kara gives her a small smile. “I should probably just say it properly, shouldn’t I?”

“Stop, no. Wait.” Lena holds a hand out between them and Kara closes her mouth obediently, waits. “If—if you’re about to say what I think you are, if you’re about to tell me,”

“I am.”

“ _W_ _hy_?”

Kara tilts her head, smiles again. “Because I trust you.” Between them, Lena’s hand shakes and then drops back to her side. “And because, because if I have to lie to you for a minute more it’s going to rip me in two. Pretending to be two different people... I can’t do it anymore.” She swallows hard and meets Lena’s eyes, still wide, shocked. “I’m Kara. I’m Supergirl, _and_  I’m Kara.” Lena is still just staring and Kara wants to die a little when she waves to her awkwardly and says, “Hi.”


	11. Chapter 11

“What the _hell_ were you thinking?”

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Well you’re _going_ to—hey!” Alex yelps when Kara pushes past her, walking a little too fast for Alex to keep up with comfortably. She feels better—well, no, she doesn’t actually, she feels _terrible_ but her powers aren’t cutting out on her anymore. Instead, it’s like they’re demanding to be felt, demanding to be used, and Kara isn’t about to ignore that. Doesn’t want to ignore it. “Oh no you don’t. Vasquez, lock the training room after me,” she says into her comms and Kara spins and blocks the door easily. “I see your powers are back.”

It’s taking no effort at all for Kara to keep the door from closing and she nudges Alex back with one finger.

“Go away, Alex.”

“Not until you talk to me.”

“I don’t want to _talk about it_ ,” Kara snaps. She feels her eyes flash and a terribly knowing look slips over Alex’s face. 

“Okay. Wanna fight about it?” she asks, and she slips under Kara’s arm and crosses over to the panel without taking no for an answer. “Let go of the door, Kara,” she says, way too gently, and Kara pulls her hand back and lets it slam shut. 

She _hates_ kryptonite. She hates the slinking sickness that comes with it.

She likes that she has to focus on staying upright and keeping everything in her stomach, that it takes every bit of her focus.

“Turn it up a little more,” she tells Alex.

“No.”

“Turn it up.”

“No. This is the limit.” Alex locks the panel so Kara can’t do it herself and she turns to her, steps up onto the platform. “This is how you want to do this? What’s wrong with crying into some ice-cream?”

Kara shrugs. “That comes after.”

“I mean, I know that I have some self-destructive tendencies,” Alex laughs, and Kara blinks, head jerking back, because in all the years since it happened they haven’t _once_ spoken about the binges Alex went on, haven’t _once_ acknowledged how Alex is so careful about what she drinks and when. “But I thought you turned out better than me.”

“Not possible,” Kara tells her quietly and Alex looks over at her with what feels like a devastating amount of fondness and worry. So much so that Kara can’t meet her eyes. She spins away, leans against the wall of the training room. The wall is rough under her shoulder and she leans her head against it too when she asks, quietly, “Can we just… punch stuff for a while? I don’t want to fight you.”

“Sure. I’ll get Vasquez to drop off some punching bags. We need to work on your form anyway because I swear to god, you’re going to break your wrist one of these days.”

“Haven’t yet.”

“Luck,” Alex grumbles and she moves to the door where Kara is sure Vasquez has _already_ had several bags delivered. She’s kind of scary and amazing like that.

Sure enough, there are four agents labouring to carry two bags between them and it takes a couple minutes for them to set everything up. Kara offers each of them smiles and _thank you_ ’s as genuine as she can make them but she thinks it’s probably pretty obvious how relieved she is when they leave and they aren’t looking at her out of the corner of their eyes.

She strips off her cape and lets it puddle on the floor around her feet. She steps out of her boots too and takes the hair tie Alex offers, scrapes her hair into a loose bun.

Alex makes her way over to the bag clearly intended for Kara—it’s red, with yellow straps, and Kara rolls her eyes toward the security camera—and she pats it, braces her shoulder against it.

“Let’s go, Supergirl,” she says, and Kara knows that Alex doesn’t _know_ , doesn’t know that Lena—doesn’t know that right now Kara wants to be anything but Supergirl, wants anything but a stupid red cape and a name that puts her firmly shoulder to shoulder with Superman. Doesn’t know that right now anything _S_ _upergirl_ makes her feel _alien._ Makes her too aware of a body that knew a different sun, different stars, a body that doesn’t feel the gravity of this world quite right, a body that sat for too long in the deep cold dark of space and felt it crept into her bones and grow there and won’t shake free and so maybe she chases after those things that make her feel warm, maybe she chases after those people who ground her, who give her a place to land, maybe she likes feeling her chest fill a little _too_ much with love for her people because at least she can feel her way back to some kind of home.

But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what Lena thinks, it doesn’t matter what _anyone_ thinks, she is who she is and she can’t change that no matter how much she wishes she were normal, no matter how much she wishes that she were a _normal_ girl on _Kr_ _ypton_ and she didn’t have to worry about _breaking_ things and keeping _secrets_ and not. Getting. To. Have. A.  _Normal_. _Life._

“Whoa, Kara,” Alex says when her punches start to come in a flurry, harder and harder, and bag and stand and sister start to shift backward underneath the force of each punch. “ _K_ _ara!”_  Alex snaps, and Kara sucks in a deep breath and then another and shakes out hands that she now realises are stinging. “Oh Kara,” she murmurs and she comes out from behind the bag and lifts her hands to Kara’s face, drags her thumbs under Kara’s eyes. “What did she say to you? I can put her in a cell, you know.”

“ _Al_ _ex,”_ Kara stops her, almost chiding, and she looks up to see a quick, amused smile. “Come on, you can’t put her away for—just because you can.” She pulls out of Alex’s hold and flexes her hands, looks with interest down at the redness that’s slowly blooming over her knuckles.

“I can do a lot of stuff. We don’t technically exist, remember.”

“Alex.”

“I’m just saying, if she rejects my baby sister—” Alex stops, swallows hard. She looks a little nervous when Kara turns slowly to face her. 

“He told you that?”

“No. No, he just said it didn’t go well but,” Alex shrugs. “Putting two and two together is kind of my job, Kara. I know how you feel about her.”

“You should know,” Kara’s lips twitch a little into a smile that feels _weird_ , and Alex’s concerned look tells her it looks weird too, “that with aliens two plus two isn’t always four.”

“So… she didn’t reject you?”

Her jaw works for a minute and she can’t quite meet Alex’s eyes. Focuses instead on the slight curl of her hair. It’s a natural look she’s been trying out for a little while. It suits her.

“She didn’t say anything,” Kara tells her quietly. “I told her, and then…” She laughs, tilts her head up to the ceiling. Her throat is _supposed_ to feel tight like this when she’s looking up. “She said nothing and then she asked me to leave, please, and that she had work in the morning.”

“She said please, that’s polite.” It’s such a weak effort at trying to turn this into something not terrible that Kara can’t help but _laugh_ and Alex winces. “Sorry.”

Kara shrugs, wipes at her own cheeks. “I feel so stupid. I thought, I don’t know. I thought she liked me enough that it would mean something.”

“It’s a lot to take in—”

“I told Lucy who I am,” Kara argues, “and _she_ didn’t lose her ability to speak for a whole five minutes.”

“Lucy is Lucy,” is Alex’s argument, which is a pretty decent one to be honest. There isn’t anyone else like Lucy and her military background and her knowledge of the DEO and knowing dozens of secrets like Kara probably helped. “Five minutes? Really?”

“Do you know how _long_ that is? It feels like forever.”

Alex winces and chews at the inside of her cheek for a second. She props her hands on her hips and stares over at Kara until she shifts under her sister's gaze.

“What?”

“I’m thinking.”

“ _O_ _bviously_. What about?”

“Things.” Kara scowls and Alex lifts a shoulder, relents enough to tell her, “How to deal with this.” She narrows her eyes thoughtfully before nodding. “Okay. Back to the bag. You’re going to punch the rest of this out of your system and then we’re going to go home, make those brownies you like and mix them into that ice cream I like.”

Kara rolls her head side to side and then down, nods. “Okay.”

“And Kara?” Alex sets herself up behind the second bag, the one that doesn’t look like it’s been trampled by a rhinoceros. “I know you. I know this isn’t all about Lena.”

“What? Yes it is.”

“No. Maybe Lena brought it on but this is like that time when you came home from babysitting your drunk boss and started talking about the anger behind the anger and then you,” Alex points at her eyes, “zapped your holo-mom.”

“I’d really like it if you and Winn actually stopped referring to her as my holo-mom, you know?”

“Sure, sure.”

“Also, since I told her about me being, y’know,” Kara gestures to her cape, “did you win your twenty bucks?”

Alex freezes, eyes wide. “What?”

“Your twenty bucks. The bet. Because you think I can’t keep a secret.”

“I—don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Alex, I can hear basically everything. Like for instance that there was a bet going around about when you’re going to hook up with that detective. Sawyer?” She watches with interest as her sister's face goes white and then very red. “Don’t worry,” Kara tells her when the red takes on an angry hue, “I told anyone who was involved that I would throw them into space if they kept betting on you at work. So now they’re betting on you outside of work but I thought you wouldn’t mind that as much.”

"Can I get those names?”

“No. But you _can_ buy me pizza with your winnings.”

Alex purses her lips and, after a minute, nods. “Fine. But only because you’ve never really had a breakup before and you deserve first class treatment after this.”

Kara ignores the pang in her chest and forces a smile instead. “It wasn’t really a breakup, Alex. We weren’t anything and it’s not like we even went on a single date,” she says, beginning to punch at the bag again. She lets Alex correct her stance before she continues. “We were just two women who maybe liked each other a little bit and I’m kind of sad that it’s over but it’s fine and it wasn’t a breakup.”

Alex lifts her eyebrows but she doesn’t comment on what they both know is very clearly denial, not least represented by the way Kara’s voice trembles into upset. All she does is flick Kara in the forehead when she leans too close and says, “So is that a no to pizza?”

“When have I  _ever_ said no to pizza?”

* * *

“Kara, I thought we were going to talk and watch movies tonight.”

“I know, I know,” she says, and waves a hand down at the papers in Alex’s hands. “But Lena is still in danger and the sooner we figure out who’s after her, the sooner this is all over.”

Alex is silent for a long time but Kara doesn’t take her eyes off her television where she’s having Winn stream her the video surveillance they took from L Corp. He sped it up for her as well and she’s rushing through days of it trying to pick out familiar faces and see how they could have gotten anything into Lena’s elevator. It would be so much easier if Lena had a private elevator like Cat, but no, she has to actually go out of her way to show that she’s one of the people and not to be feared. Kara scowls and cuts over to the next tape.

“It’s okay to say she hurt you, Kara,” Alex says, very softly, and Kara has to pause the video. 

“I’m—I’m _okay_ , Alex,”

“Kara,”

“I am! It’s fine. She doesn’t feel the same way. Okay, so I feel dumb,” she tells her sister, and turns on the couch to face her, pulling a pillow onto her lap. Alex nudges her until she stretches her legs out and Kara smiles a little down at her pillow when her sister plants Kara’s feet on her lap, pats her shins. 

“It’s not _dumb_ to have feelings, you know.”

“This? From Miss I-don’t-give-a-damn-about-anyone?”

Alex’s smile is a little lopsided when she gently reminds Kara, “Yeah, but that’s because I thought I was straight. And I really wasn’t.”

Kara sinks lower into the couch, sets her chin against her chest and scowls. “Right. Do we throw you a coming out party or something? Would you like that?”

“Uh, I’m an adult so no, that’s not necessary.”

“Not necessary but still _fun_.” Kara looks hopefully over at her and when Alex rolls her eyes, she squeals. “Yes! It’ll be so great! Are you full lesbian or are you bi, do you think? Or do you fall somewhere else on your spectrum or,”

“Did you do _research_?”

“Pfft, what? No,” Kara denies. “No, of course I didn’t.”

“Because if you did, I think that would be really nice of you.” Alex rubs her shin again and Kara smiles up at her, nose crinkling. 

“I did,” she admits. “I know we never talked much about you growing up and recently everything has been about me and my coming out as Supergirl and this is such a big part of you! I wanted to know everything so we could really _talk_ about it, if you wanted to, and,”

“Kara, is that why you don’t want to talk about this?” Alex interrupts her. “Because you think you’ve talked too much about yourself?” Her voice softens even more when Kara shakes her head a little too quickly. “Oh Kara, _no._  You know I always want to know about you. What you’re struggling with, what you’re happy about. You’re my _sister_.”

“Best sister ever,” Kara laughs. Her laugh stops when Alex grimaces and shrugs and as retribution, she lifts her legs and drops them down onto Alex’s lap. Lightly for her but hard enough for Alex to feel it. Kara laughs again when Alex lets out an inelegant _ooph_ at the move. “Best sister ever.”

“Sure, sure, best sister ever.” Alex pats her knee and looks down at the files on the coffee table. “So, this non-break up that you’re not upset about,”

“I’m _not_ upset about it! I’m totally fine!”

“Kara.”

“Why don’t you ask J’onn all about it? You two are awfully chummy. He didn’t waste _any_ time telling you that she rejected me,” Kara mutters, and even not looking at Alex she can see the way her sister is grinning. “I’m _not_ bitter about that.”

“Clearly. Okay, feet up.” Kara lifts her feet and Alex slips out, grabs the ice cream cooling in the freezer. “A spoon for you and a spoon for me.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. Now come on, tell me what really happened. I don’t want to hear it from J’onn, I want to hear it from _you_.” She taps her spoon on Kara’s knee, rolls her eyes when it makes her spoon bend. Kara groans as she sits up and takes it from Alex, bends it carefully back to normal. “Thanks. So?”

“So,” Kara shrugs, “J’onn told me it wasn’t fair for her not to know if I wanted anything to do with her as Kara and—”

“Wait, nope, no, go back.” Alex shifts, elbow against the top of the couch so she can prop her head up and still reach the carton on Kara’s lap with her free hand. “What happened between you two that you were freaking out? In the safe house?”

Kara laughs, a little blustering laugh. “I wasn’t freaking out—”

“Uh, yes you were, that was the definition of freaking out—”

“No, I  _wasn’t_ ,”

“I thought you were going to hyperventilate—oh my god, she kissed you.” Alex slams her spoon down on Kara’s knee excitedly again, several times, before throwing it at her face to get it bent back into shape. She ignores Kara’s complaints in favour of asking her, in a thrilled hiss, “Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

“Um, because it’s a mess? Because I didn’t mean to kiss her—”

“ _Y_ _ou_ kissed _her_?”

Kara frowns. “Why do you sound so surprised?”

“I’m not,” Alex denies breezily, shaking her hair back off her face. 

“Alex, I can kiss people.”

“Of course you can. Keep going though, you kissed her _and—_?”

“And…” Kara flushes, just remembering it. How it felt, how _Le_ _na_ felt, remembering how nice it was to be held and to feel wanted and for this woman, for _L_ _ena_ , to want her. “And she kissed me back. Oh, and she asked me on a date before all of that.”

“She asked you on a date?”

“Yeah.” Kara scoops a spoonful of ice cream aside and plucks out a brownie piece. 

“I hate that you do that.”

“Excuse me, I am wallowing here?" Kara says around a mouthful of brownie. "Leave me alone?”

“Fine, but just this _once._ ”

“Thank you.”

Alex scoops her own spoonful and licks it off her spoon thoughtfully. Very casually, she asks, "Is she a good kisser?”

“Alex!” Kara squawks, dropping her spoon. She can’t look at the satisfied grin on her sister’s face and instead rolls onto her feet to put this spoon in the sink and fetch a new one. 

“That’s a yes, isn’t it?”

“Is _M_ _aggie_?” Kara throws back and she laugh when Alex flushes. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter because she doesn’t like Supergirl. She doesn’t _trust_ supergirl and I don’t know if it’s because she’s scared that one day I’m going to look at her and think she’s a _L_ _uthor_ or if it’s because I’m a literal alien or _what_ ,” Kara stops when her voice cracks. She shakes her head at the concerned look Alex is giving her. “I’m okay. And when I told her that I’m _me_ ,” Kara looks down at her cutlery drawer, clears her throat.

“Kara, I’m sorry,” Alex says, and Kara is glad that she realises she needs a little space, that Alex doesn’t come over and try to hug her or anything like that. 

She nods down to the kitchen counter and blindly pulls out a fork, which she has to put back when she gets over to the couch and realises.

“So…” Alex takes her feet onto her lap again and pulls a blanket over them, a second one around her own shoulders. “She just stood there?”

“For five minutes,” Kara reminds her, utterly miserable. 

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.”

Alex sucks in a breath and nods sharply. “Alright then. Lets solve the mystery of the secret assassin and save her and then the Danvers sisters can take a night off _finally_ and go do something fun, forget about,” she hesitates over Maggie’s name and Kara flops a hand out towards her. Alex takes it and continues. “Forget about everyone else and just have fun. Sound good?”

“Sounds _great_.”

“Alright then. Let’s do this.”

* * *

“Alex, have you seen this person before? Can you check the employee records?” Kara freezes the image on her screen and takes the pile of papers Alex immediately shoves her way, flicks through them. “I don’t see him.”

“No, neither do I.” They swap piles, just to make sure, and Kara takes a photo of the man to send to Winn. “He goes up in her elevator three times, each time from the lobby, but he only comes _out_ twice,” Kara muses, and she finds each different day for Alex to view. 

“Can you zoom in on his uniform?”

“Who do you think I am?” Kara asks her sister. “Winn? No, I don’t know how to do that.”

“Then we’re stuck until Winn stops mooning over Mon El’s muscles and actually checks his phone.”

“Great. It could be _hours_.”

They flop back against the couch and sigh. Alex kicks her feet up onto the table and Kara slips sideways, onto her sister’s lap.

“You feeling better?” she asks, carding her fingers through Kara’s hair, and she smiles when Kara hums a little. “Is it because we’ve got a lead, or because you ate four pizzas by yourself?”

“Half and half,” Kara laughs, and she turns her head further into the pillow when she thinks she can’t hide how much it hurts remembering she said that to Lena, over breakfast, a really _good_ breakfast, and Lena had looked at her like she was special—had called her _remarkable—_ and now that means nothing. And it all feels glum and useless because they didn’t even know each other very long and it’s stupid of her to feel this much for her and—

“Did you order more pizza?” Alex asks her, looking over to Kara’s front door. Three polite, not too loud raps, announce someone’s presence. “Kara?” She shakes her head and sits up when whoever it is knocks again. “It’s three in the morning, who—?” Alex raises her eyebrows at Kara. “Do you think?”

“No. No, it’s not her. It can’t be her. Why would it be her?”

“You could check, you know.”

Kara bites down hard on her lip and she sends an anxious look Alex’s way. Relaxes only a tiny bit when her sister pats her leg. Then, she glances over to the door, and then _through_ the door, and her eyes widen.

“Oh rao, it’s her. What is she doing here?”

Kara watches as Lena shifts uncomfortably outside the door. It’s three a.m. and she’s not in her pyjamas anymore—she’s sleek and smart and she’s clutching at her purse and her head keeps turning from Kara’s door to look down the hall and back again.

“Are you going to answer?” Alex asks her quietly.

Kara looks over at her, eyes wide, and then back to Lena.

“Kara?” Lena calls out, and Alex nudges her and nods toward the door. “Kara, I—I need to talk to you. I understand if you would like me to go,”

“Answer the door,”

“She told me to _leave_.”

“She’s here now,” Alex points out. Kara frowns. 

“Why?”

“I don’t know. That’s why you should find out.”

Kara stands and makes her way over slowly until she’s standing in front of the door. One hand on the doorknob, she waits.

“God, you’re probably asleep,” Lena says, mostly to herself. “Or not here at all.” She clicks open her purse and pulls out her phone. To send Kara a message? Kara isn’t sure and she waits, but Lena just stares down at the screen for what feels like an age before she slips it away again in her purse. She reaches out, brushes her fingers against the door, and then turns to walk away. 

“ _W_ _ait_ ,” Kara breathes, pulling the door open an inch. “Wait,” she says again, knowing Lena hadn’t heard her the first time.

“Oh.” The sharp sound of her heels on the wooden floors stutters when Lena stops and turns. “Oh, Kara, I,” she pauses and Kara doesn’t have the courage to check why. To see what kind of way she’s looking at her. “I thought you weren’t home.”

“I was.”

“I see.” There’s a silence that aches between them and Kara bites down hard on her tongue so she doesn’t apologise—because what she wants to apologise for, her feelings, her _self_ , isn’t something she needs to apologise for. “May I come in?” Lena asks her carefully, and Kara opens the door wider, steps back. 

Before she can enter, there’s a hand at Kara’s back and Alex leans against her. She very obviously clicks her gun into the holster at her side, shrugs into her jacket.

“I’m gonna head home now, okay?”

Kara nods. “Drive safe.”

“Thanks, will do.” Alex ducks in to give her a quick hug and then turns, steps out. She fills the doorway for a moment before she says, with a curt nod, “Lena.”

Lena gives her a smile back, maybe a little strained. Kara can’t be sure, because her eyes will move barely above Lena’s shoulders and certainly not to her eyes. “Agent danvers. I don’t want to interrupt,”

“You already did,” she shrugs, and Kara sends a smile down to the floor. Normally the almost rude statement would make Kara feel awkward but Alex is doing it for _her_ and she’s been planning several things to say next time she sees Maggie so this just feels like solidarity. “See you, Kara.”

“Bye.” Kara waits until Alex passes down the hall, passes by the agents Lena brought with her, before she steps back. With each step she takes, Lena takes one forward. When she’s just inside the apartment, Lena reaches out and closes the door quietly. Kara has made it all the way to her fridge and she pops it open, hiding behind it. “Do you want something? Juice? Beer?”

“Whatever you’re having,” Lena says, and yeah Kara thinks maybe she sounds a little strained. 

“I'm drinking an alien brew from _A_ _ngtu_. It’s toxic to humans.” Lena hesitates for a moment and Kara finally musters up enough courage to look over at her and smile. “I’m kidding, Lena. Coffee?”

“ _O_ _h_. Yes. Please.”

She stands at Kara’s kitchen island very still and proper, looking slowly around the apartment. It’s the most awkward Kara has ever seen her—not awkward at all, because it’s _Le_ _na_ , but the ease of everything is so cool and considered that Kara knows she has to be. She can’t imagine what it must be like, to not be able to show it—discomfort, nerves, fear. Kara’s heart sinks into her stomach when she considers how quick Lena’s laughs are, how brief her smiles.

She adds a dusting of chocolate over the coffee and turns, pushes it over the island towards Lena.

“Chocolate?”

“It tastes nice,” Kara says quietly, and lifts her own cup to her lips. She doesn’t say that she thinks Lena deserves it. For someone to do something nice for her. Just because they can.

Lena blows against her own drink before she sips, cautiously. She nods. “It does. Thank you.”

“Do you, um, want to sit? Here or on the couch if you want.”

“No, that’s quite alright.” Lena fingers curl around her cup, press against it for a moment before she pushes it away. “Kara, I need,” she sucks in a breath and then tilts her chin up, walks briskly around the island toward her. 

Kara stumbles back against the fridge at Lena’s advance, mind going haywire because Lena told her to leave and to stay away and now she’s coming right for her and she’s stopping in front of Kara, _barely_.

For a few moments, Kara’s eyes dart up to the ceiling and around—there’s a few cobwebs she should probably clean away at some point—but Lena is staring at her and finally she can’t avoid it. She doesn’t mean to but she looks right at Lena. Lena, who looks drawn and tired and full of purpose.

“Can I help you with something?” Kara asks her weakly, and Lena’s lips curl up at the sides. 

“Just one thing,” she tells her, and Kara feels her eyes widen when Lena reaches for her. Lena’s fingers are cool against her cheeks and Kara’s eyes flutter shut. She doesn’t know what she’s expecting—she knows what she’s _hoping_ for—but there’s a huge difference between hope and expectations. A difference that implodes in on itself when Kara feels Lena’s lips against hers.

It’s soft for all of three seconds and then Lena’s hand slides around to the back of Kara’s neck and _yanks_ her down toward her. She’s kissing her and Kara groans, leans into the kiss, lets her shoulders and neck loosen and Lena nips at her lip as a reward when she feels it happen.

She only has to touch Kara’s cheek for Kara to open up to her and she can feel Lena smile against her for a moment before she’s being kissed so thoroughly all else falls away. It’s just Lena—pressed up against her, nails dragging down her neck, thumb pulling down over what would be marks to sooth the way Kara’s skin sparks at the sensation. And the kisses, each one of them better than the last and her lips are tingling, her whole body tingling, and she doesn’t think that will stop anytime soon. Not with Lena teasingly nipping at her lips and licking just inside her mouth.

“ _L_ _ena_ ,” she whispers, and when she tastes the way Lena hums against her, Kara can’t help but reach for her, grab her by the thighs and lift her, back and up onto the counter. It’s a little too high but they work with it—Lena _certainly_ doesn’t seem to mind. She’s full head taller than Kara sitting there above her and one hand fists into Kara’s hair, the other grabbing at her collar to pull her close and closer. She eases Kara’s head back, tightens her hold until Kara’s knees buckle and she gasps a little, Lena’s name again, and this time Lena groans, licks down into Kara’s mouth.

Kara’s hands hover over Lena’s thighs, unsure whether she should touch—the hand gripping her collar releases her just long enough to take Kara by the wrist and plant her hand very purposefully on her thigh. Kara’s other hand follows suit. Neither of them want Lena to fully let go of her.

“ _Y_ _es_ , Kara,” Lena groans when Kara drags her hands up from her thighs to her hips, pulls her right to the edge of the countertop. She presses her knees tight against Kara’s hips and kisses her again, harder. She kisses the side of Kara’s mouth, presses open kisses down to her jaw, to the sharp jut by her ear. She seems to revel for a moment in the way Kara is breathing—very quick and quiet—before she places a tender kiss to Kara’s cheek. “Take off your shirt,” she tells her.

Kara’s hands stop their way down Lena’s thighs again and she looks away, wavers.

“Kara,”

“I’m wearing,”

“I know,” Lena says quietly. “Please, take it off.”

Kara steps back and away from Lena, lifts her hands to the top button of her shirt. Her suit is underneath, still, and she can pinpoint the moment Lena sees it. The way her eyes flash right to it and her mouth, upturned in a very pleased smirk—lipstick all but gone, looking thoroughly kissed and Kara _shivers_ at the sight—flattens a little.

Kara’s hands are shaking too bad to continue, so Lena slips down off the counter and steps forward. She pops another button and nods. To herself, Kara thinks. A third button and she stops there. Flattens her hands against the two sides of Kara’s shirt and then, lifting her gaze to meet Kara’s eyes, she peels it open.

The top half of the crest is visible, as well as the very obvious blue suit, and Lena grips Kara’s shirt tight. She just stares for a long time—Kara doesn’t dare move but she doesn’t see how Lena could miss the way she’s trembling, she doesn’t think she could take it if Lena left again—and then her hands slip down into Kara’s jeans and she smirks when Kara yelps.

“Relax, I’m just untucking your shirt,” she grins, and Kara narrows her eyes because she absolutely did _not_ have to do it like that. 

Not that she hated it. At all.

She unbuttons the rest of Kara’s shirt quickly and, when she nods, Kara shrugs out of it. Lena motions for her to turn, pulls it down slowly from her arms. She thinks that’s all Lena is going to do but then her chest heaves when fingers brush against her neck, pulling her hair away, across her shoulder, and soft lips press to the top of her spine.

“Oh _R_ _ao_ ,” Kara whimpers and sags. The way Lena laughs, low and teasing, doesn’t help at all. “Lena, what are you doing?”

“Helping you out of your shirt, of course.” She tugs it off completely and Kara turns back around to see it folded neatly and placed on the counter. 

“Thanks. No, I mean, what are you _doing_?” Lena licks her lips and Kara doesn’t want her to say something else coy again, as much as she liked it the first time. “The last time I saw you, you told me to leave and I  _did_. You told me to stay away.” She can feel her heart rate rising—and this time not in a good way—and she lifts her wrist to her lips, wipes fiercely at them. A dash of colour comes away and she looks over at Lena in time to see a hint of something. Upset, maybe? But it’s gone too fast to tell.

“I know what I said,” Lena murmurs. 

“You just _stared_ at me,” Kara reminds her, and this time she does see the way Lena looks at her. A little lost, a little wary. 

“I know.”

She looks down to Kara’s chest again, to her suit, and stretches her hand out. Kara moves back and Lena’s fingers curl into her own palm. She pressed that fist to her stomach and lifts her chin.

“I owe you an explanation, obviously.”

“Not like that,” Kara shakes her head. “Not like, not business woman Lena. I don’t want that, I don’t want you to list things again like that’s a reason for me to understand. I just,” she leans back against the side, folds her arms over her stomach. “I just want you to talk to me, Lena,” she says softly. 

Lena smiles with her lips first. It teeters on the edge of cruel and wondering. When it hits her eyes, it’s all wonder and awe. Still harsh, though, and Kara wonders if there was ever a time that Lena didn’t have to twist a little bit of herself to let exactly what she wants appear on her face.

“I don’t know how to do that,” she says tightly. “I don’t know how to do what you do, Kara, I don’t know how to _talk_ to you like that.”

“Just say _something_ real!”

“No one has ever done this!” Lena snaps at her. She looks away quickly and Kara watches her pulse thrum in her neck, watches her breathe until Lena’s tone isn’t as harsh anymore. “No one has ever done what you do and I don’t,” she shakes her head a little, offers Kara a fragment of a smile. “I don’t know how to—”

“Lena,”

“Kara, let me.” She waits until Kara nods, murmurs a quiet, _of course_ , before she continues. “No one has ever cared for me like you do,” she says, and Kara can’t help the little, ‘ _O_ _h’_ that slips out. “I have a habit, a bad one, of walking away from people. I find it easier?” she says, a hint of a question, and Kara understands that. That it’s easier, but it’s not easy. “And people stop, they always stop trying. Or they never start. But then there’s you and you came after me and you _try_ and you,” she waves a hand to Kara, “you’re a _hero_.”

“A wannabee hero,” Kara reminds her.

Lena nods. “I shouldn’t have,”

“With doe eyes,” Kara continues. “You know that’s not really an insult, right?”

“Kara, can you let me finish my speech before you forgive me?”

“Sure.” Kara nods.

“You’re a hero and you’ve saved my life and when you were just Supergirl, you,” Lena closes her eyes. “You’re not someone touchable. You’re invulnerable and strong and every inch a hero and you’re someone to admire, not to _know._  And then you were looking after me and every time you spoke or did something you became… _someone_.”

“And that’s a bad thing?” Kara asks.

“No. But then you started looking at me like I was,” Lena stops. Lifts a hand to her throat, drums her fingers against her collarbone for a moment. “Like I was someone too. Someone you wanted to know. Someone you _liked_. Not just a wicked luthor.”

“I do like you,”

“ _K_ _ara_.”

“Sorry.”

“Can’t you see how terrifying that is?” Lena asks her, stepping forward. Her eyes dip down to kara’s lips and she reaches up, drags her thumb over her cheek. “Can’t you see how terrifying it is for someone to look at you and know so many bad things about you and still think you’re good?”

“I—no,” Kara admits. “I don’t see how that would be terrifying.”

Lena frowns. Purses her lips. She’s silent for a moment and Kara lets her think. She can’t help but curl a hand around Lena’s elbow, lean into the hand on her cheek, but she doesn’t speak. “It’s intoxicating,” Lena says finally. “It’s dangerous. I wanted to be around you more, I wanted to tell you more, I wanted you to make me,” Lena clamps her mouth shut again and glares to the side. She shifts, irritated with her own inability to explain this to Kara.

But she thinks she gets it now. “Why did you send me away?”

“Because it would ruin you, trying to help me.”

“Why?”

“Because you would. I could _see_ it,” Lena grits out. “That you would keep trying. But you can’t fix everything.”

“Lena,” Kara smiles, and she lets the way she feels now, like a tightly wound thread in her chest is spooling out loose and gold inside her, warm her smile. It pushes right up to her eyes, she can feel it. “You don’t need to be fixed.”

“Surely,” she tells her, achingly quiet, “surely I must. I thought I must. You’re the only one who has ever,” she touches Kara’s cheek again, to the side of her eyes, so very gentle. Kara can feel the awe in that touch. “No one has looked at me like this before.”

Kara nods, flushes a little. She’s not ready to talk about that, about what it means when she looks at Lena—like she’s everything, like she’s wonderful, too wonderful for words, like her world is fuller, better, brighter, for having Lena in it—and she knows Lena isn’t ready to talk about the people she had obviously dreamed, hoped, _wished_ desperately would care for her.

She strokes her thumb over a small patch of skin on Lena’s arm, watches her shiver. It thrills her to know this isn’t one-sided, that she was _right_ , that Lena _does_ like her. 

“Why did you like Kara?” she asks, ducking her head shyly to watch her thumb instead of Lena’s face. “Me, I mean?”

The question makes Lena laugh and Kara looks up at her, surprised. “How could I not?” Lena shrugs. “You came into my office next to Clark Kent, who as kind as he seems has never shown any hesitation in bulldozing anyone he found even slightly suspicious. And you saved me.”

“Right, as Supergirl, but I mean Kara—”

“I do too.” Lena slips her hands down Kara’s face, down to her shoulders. She shifts closer and Kara wonders if she’s aware of it or if she’s just following the pull too. “I know you convinced him to trust me. You listened to me, really _listened_. You gave me a chance. Without prejudice, without ulterior motive. That I could find, anyway,” Lena admits, and Kara smiles at her again. 

“No ulterior motive,” Kara confirms. “You deserved it.”

Lena huffs a laugh and Kara slips her hands onto her waist. Her breath is warm and sweet and Kara swallows hard.

“You gave me every chance to be someone new. And you were sweet and a little clumsy and very, very beautiful. How could I not like you?” She follows Kara’s blush with curious eyes, a slant of a smile that’s entirely wicked and Kara thinks that if this is how her Luthor wants to be wicked, that’s entirely fine with her. “I am sorry. For the way i’ve treated you.”

Kara nods. “I didn’t mean to deceive you. When I realised what was happening, what I was feeling, I didn’t know what to do.” She pulls lena a little closer with a little tug to her shirt and Lena steps forward. She’s nearly flush against Kara now and Kara can’t help but flatten her hands against Lena’s spine and, biting her lip, pull her the rest of the way.

Lena sighs so prettily when Kara holds her properly, when they’re pressed up against one another, that Kara flushes again.

“I like this,” she murmurs, and she nips at Kara’s jaw. “Pink is a good colour on you.”

“My sister doesn’t think so.”

“Your sister isn’t the one who is hopefully going to see you naked,” Lena says, very nonchalant, and she _laughs_ when Kara makes an odd little sound close to a whine. 

“So this is, I am,” Kara leans back so she can look at Lena properly, knowing this is a question she absolutely has to ask. “I  _am_ something you want? Even though, even if I’m,” 

“God, Kara, _yes_. Yes, you are.” She rocks onto her toes, cups Kara’s cheeks and pulls her into a sweet kiss. “You absolutely are.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Are you ever going to tell me what happened?” Alex asks. Kara grins at her, content to keep her secret a little longer, and she kicks out toward her sister. Alex has to bat her hand out to keep Kara’s swinging feet from hitting her table. “Stop tha— _K_ _ara_ , come on,” she whines, “stop it.”

"Stop what?”

“You know what you’re doing—stop, hey!” She shifts her chair around to the side of the table closest to her sister so Kara can’t knock against the chair leg anymore. Sitting sideways, she drops her elbow on the table, other arm over the back of her chair and she fixes Kara with her most unimpressed glare. Kara meets it with a sweet smile and nudges her fingers very lightly—they’re probably the most delicate part of a human, their fingers, and she doesn’t want to hurt her sister with ill-timed exuberance. “These are delicate experiments.”

“Oh please.” Kara tosses her head back and laughs. “ _T_ _hat_ ,” she points, “is a piece of maybe alien metal in salt water and _that_ ,” she shifts her finger a little, “is Javier’s week old sandwich. It only looks like an experiment because he sneezed on it and now it’s growing.”

Alex grimaces. “Sentient?”

“Too soon to tell,” Kara says, mock gravely. “You think it’s dangerous?”

“I would assume so,” Alex says, matching her tone.

“Should I—?” She gestures to her eyes and Alex shudders, stands and moves away. 

“Do it. Before it’s too late.”

Kara nods and she can feel her sister watching, with that intense focus and a little fascination, as her eyes start to shine and she feels the heat gather over them. She zaps the sandwich with the utmost precision, and promptly begins to gag.

“Oh god, a _mistake_ ,” Alex coughs. The smell of charred mould soon fills the room and she grips at Kara’s arm weakly. “Bad call.”

Kara eyes are watering and she wipes at them, nods. “Really bad.” She grabs her sister, swings her up into her arms, and makes to carry her bodily from the room. They’re almost out when Alex demands they go back for her metal in salt water experiment—it’s apparently very unique and not at all what they do when they’ve run out of tests to run—and then _finally_ they’re at the door again.

At the last second, their way is blocked. Winn steps into the doorway, head down as he reads something on his tablet and when Kara clears her throat he glances up and smiles. “Hey, great, just who I was looking for. Uh, why are you carrying Alex? Are you okay? And—” Winn sniffs at the air, tilts his head. “Yum, what’s that smell? Did you bring lunch?”

“Oh gross,” Alex breathes, and she rolls out of Kara’s arms and shoves out the door past him.

“Hey!”

“Don’t _leave_ me,” Kara calls after her.

“He’s your friend,” Alex yells back, lifts her hands in a _what can you do_ kind of gesture, and slips down the next corridor. 

"Okay she’s gone,” Winn says slowly, “but I had something to talk to both of you about. I really think you’re going to want to hear this. It’s about that guy you and Alex thought was suspicious— _oh god we’re flying_ ,” he yelps and grips to Kara’s shoulder and to the arm around his waist, lifts his legs to cling to her side. He closes his eyes to keep them from watering with how fast she’s going and focuses on breathing and keeping his stomach steady.

“We weren’t flying, Winn, it was a brisk walk. Alex!” kara slows to a jog and falls into place next to her sister. “Alex, Winn has something about that guy we found.”

“Fast,” Winn gulps, a little pale, and Kara waits until he feels well enough to drop his legs from around her and stand on his own. She keeps a hand at his back until he clears his throat. “Uh. Okay.” His voice cracks and he coughs. “Right.”

“Anytime, Winn,” Alex drawls, and she sits on the edge of the table and crosses her arms. 

“No?” Kara frowns. “Tell us now?” she corrects her sister and she spins to face Winn, hands on her hips. 

“You two are simultaneously the most terrifying and attrac—cool. Cool and fun people, so cool,” Winn mutters down to his tablet. “Okay! So this guy, seems normal, seems legit, comes up pretty clean, but there’s a dark underside to his story.”

Kara nods. “I knew it.”

“Really? You knew that...” Winn holds up his tablet, angles it so they can see, and flicks through various documents at a pace so quick even Kara has trouble keeping up. “He comes from a good family, went to a good school, only has three parking tickets, two speeding fines, that he pays all his taxes and works at a decent job as an accountant for a construction firm here in national city? That he has a healthy if boring social media presence and isn’t a frequent updater, that he has an ex-wife and two kids, skype calls his parents every week on friday at seven p.m. when he gets home from work after spending forty minutes on the city interpass and always clocks in on the toll there? That he gets his groceries delivered, always the same stuff at the same time? That he has minimal debt, he splurged on a holiday for his kids and is still paying that off but that otherwise he’s living within his means and there are no obvious signs that he’s getting paid more than he should be? You knew _all_ of that?” Winn asks. 

Kara shifts uncomfortably. “Well, no,”

“No,” he says with no small amount of relish. “You didn’t.”

“ _Wi_ _nn.”_

“Anyway, so he’s clean.”

Kara makes a small sound of outrage and shakes her head. “I thought you said he had a dark underside. Alex, back me up here.”

“You’re right, I heard him say it,” Alex agrees. Kara nods a thank you and Alex steps up next to her. “Spill the beans, Agent Schott. And remember,” she taps her hip, “I have a gun.”

Kara crosses her arms, aiming for menacing. “Several guns, actually.”

“Yes thank you, Kara, you are so right. I have _several_ guns.”

“And one really big one. Don’t forget the big gun.”

Winn huffs a laugh and shakes his head, looking between them. “You two realise this isn’t as intimidating as you think it is, right? Like, it’s actually kind of cute this whole sisters teaming up thing. The banter, the posing. The,” he gulps, “suddenly really intense glaring.”

“Let me reiterate,” Alex says softly. “Me. Several guns. Extensive training in kicking your ass. Kara. Alien. Punches really hard. Has an emotional stake in this.” She lifts her eyebrows at him. “You really want to test me, Winn Schott Junior?”

“ _S_ _he full named him, this is bad_ ,” Kara hisses to the agent sitting next to her. He nods silently and continues with his own work. 

“Alright, alright! Geez.” He holds his hands up in surrender and Alex eases away, eyeing him as he pulls up something on his screen. “Haven’t you guys ever heard of dramatic suspense? That’s all I was doing.”

“Emotional. Stake,” Kara reminds him. Alex nods seriously. 

“Fair enough. Now look, with all the stuff on him I would have assumed he was clean. But you had a hunch,” he says to Kara, who nods. She’d been through those videos time and again and she wasn’t able to find him that final time—she saw him get on the elevator but she never saw him get off, not on any floor, and she never saw him leave the building. And there was just something _about_ him that made the nape of her neck _itch._ “So I kept digging and here,” he twists the tablet so they can see. “This is what I found.”

“This is,” Kara snatches it out of his hands, reading quickly. Only, Alex snatches it out of _her_ hands before she can. Kara moves, slings an arm around Alex’s shoulders, and leans in so that she can read it. 

“A receipt?” Alex asks. She lifts the tablet a little higher so Kara doesn’t have to twist her neck and nods when Kara mumbles a thank you.

“Look, it’s for a camera.” Kara points with her hand slung over Alex’s shoulder. 

“Yes!” Winn claps his hands, grins. “This camera house digitised their receipts so what I did was... uh, well,”

Alex’s lips twitch. “Classified?” she suggests. 

“Sure,” Winn agrees. “Classified. Let’s go with that. Our guy bought a digital camera and a scope, in this visit anyway.”

“Okay. What does that tell us?”

“On its own? Not a lot. _B_ _ut_ , in another classified move, I double checked the brand and the model and this _particular_ camera has a nifty little backdoor. If you don’t know about it then you never bother to shut it off but basically it uploads automatically to the cloud.”

“Okay?” Kara looks between her sister and Winn and the disturbingly similar smiles they’re sharing. “What am I missing?”

“You _hacked_ him,” Alex says, gleeful, and she shoves the tablet back into Winn’s hands. “Show us.”

“You hacked him? You know he’s the guy?” Winn shrugs, brushes at his shoulders with pride. “ _N_ _o,_ Winn, I’m not pleased! This is the kind of thing you _lead_ with,” Kara chides, and she turns when he flicks the images up onto the DEO big screen. She plants her hands on her hips and frowns at the images she can see. “What are we looking at here?”

“That, my dear caped crusader, is the control panel of an L Corp elevator. Specifically, Lena Luthor’s elevator.” She looks back over her shoulder at him and Winn shrugs. “I memorise elevator codes, it’s a hobby.”

“Cool.”

“I wouldn’t say _cool_ ,” Alex mumbles, and Kara nudges her. “What? I’m just saying—”

“Say it when we’re not tracking down an assassin.”

“Fair.”

Winn rolls his eyes and swipes to the next set of images. “So this is obviously his next stakeout and it’s—”

“I know what this is,” Kara says quietly. She takes in each of the photos, motions for Winn to swipe again so she can see the rest of them. The details burn into her mind and her frown settles heavy over her forehead. “Is this enough to get him?”

“For anyone else? No, because what Winn did is super illegal.”

_“Classified.”_

“But for us?” Alex nods, grips Kara’s shoulder. “I’ll get a team ready.”

“Good.” Kara’s eyes dart over every pixel. She knows—she can _hear_ the discomfort radiating off Alex and Winn when she speaks. Her tone frightens them. Not her tone, not _just_ her tone. They know that she’s angry. Real anger, not just hurt-anger, a real anger that sets her shoulders tense and eyes dry and hot. She doesn’t care. Oh, it’s not that she wants to scare them. It’s just that when some _creep_ has photos of Lena in her home alone, vulnerable, soft in pyjamas and a mug in her hand. Pacing her apartment with her phone to her ear. Leaning against the window and staring out across the city in a captured moment of stillness, thought, loneliness. When some creep has those, when he’s been chasing her, hurting her, Kara thinks a little anger is exactly what is needed. 

“Lena can never see these. Do you understand?”

“Of course,” Winn agrees. “I've already locked them. My eyes only. And, like, you guys through my code of course.”

“Kara,” Alex starts,

She shakes her head. “I'm okay. I won’t do anything stupid.” She has to turn away from the screen though, and she purses her lips down at her feet. “I’m sick of him making Lena’s life hell. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Plus, he blew you up.”

“He gave that bomb to a little girl. What kind of sick person _does_ a thing like that?”

“This guy.” Winn pulls up an image of his face and Kara stares at it for a long while. 

“Alex,” she says finally, and her sister nods. 

“The team is ready to go when you are. You want to be air support?” she asks, and then grins. “Or do you want to drop through the roof and make him crap himself?”

Kara grins back. “What do you think? No, wait—is it a rented house or his?”

“Uh,” Winn checks. “All his.”

“Great. Then _yeah_. I want to go through the roof.”

Alex claps Winn’s shoulder hard. “Buckle up, Schott.”

“Me? _I_ _’m_ going on a mission?”

“Well, you’re staying in the van.” She ignores his muttered ‘ _thank god’._ "We need eyes and ears and someone to patch comms if he tries anything tricky and I think he will.”

“Got it, boss.”

* * *

“Miss Luthor? Kara Danvers for you.”

“Thank you, Jess, please keep her for just a minute and I’ll wrap this up,” her voice crackles through the intercom, and Jess ends the call and smiles up at Kara. 

“Normally I would send you right in, but she had a conference call and,”

“No, please, I totally understand.” She sets a fruit salad on the counter, pushes it toward Jess. “Here, I totally get long nights. Is this okay?”

“This is _perfect_.” She groans, pulls it toward herself. “You’re a life saver, thank you so much. You have no idea—anything you want,” she promises, heatedly. “My firstborn, whatever, it’s yours.”

“Wow, so _long_ hours,” Kara laughs. 

“You have no idea.” Jess cracks open the container and moans at the first bite of crisp melon. “This is so good. Where did you buy this?”

“Actually, I made it myself?”

Jess stops eating. “Really?”

“Really really!”

“I think you’re my new favourite person,” she says, very seriously, and Kara flushes happily. 

“Really, it’s nothing,” she waves away Jess’s thanks, but she sits when Jess pulls a chair up next to her. “Can I help with anything? It’s so awful, you all being here so long."

“It’s not like I can _leave_ her,” Jess argues. “She’s in real danger, I would feel so bad,”

“No I know, I know. Trust me, Miss Grant had, like, twelve ex-employees after her every week.”

“I  _wish_ it were ex-employees.” Jess cuts a nervous look toward the closed doors of Lena’s office. “Her own brother,” she whispers, and Kara ducks her head, looks down at her fingers knotted in her lap. She nods. “I mean, it’s awful. So anything I can do to make her life the tiniest bit easier is the right thing to do. Even if it means late nights.”

“I think when you’re here until two am it’s actually early mornings,” Kara corrects her with a gentle smile, and Jess sighs and leans back in her chair. 

“You’re so right.”

“Well,” Kara claps her hands down onto her knees and nods firmly. “I'm going to try to get her out of the office at a reasonable hour.” She twists her arm to look at her watch—it’s already almost eleven at night so reasonable has long since passed but the thought is still there and Jess is looking at her so appreciatively Kara is extra determined to make it happen. “And I'll remind her that you’re an excellent assistant,” she adds and Jess flails a little, grips onto her wrist. 

“No, don’t mention me, she’ll think I’ve been complaining,”

“A little complaining never hurt anyone,” a smooth voice interrupts them, and they both grin when they look over at Lena leaning in the doorway. “Do all assistants gossip about their bosses?” she asks to the pair and her tiredness washes away when she returns the smile Kara beams over at her. 

“Of course. How else would we get anything done?”

“Of course,” Lena shakes her head. “How silly of me.”

“You, Miss Luthor, silly?” Jess scoffs. “Never.”

“You’re a flatterer.” Lena flicks a glance over at an obnoxiously large wall clock. “You’re also off the clock until nine am tomorrow, Jess. Go.” She waves a hand and Jess gives her a smile that is almost as bright as Kara’s. It doesn’t quite match it, but not through lack of trying. 

“Thank you so much, Miss Luthor.”

“Good god, don’t thank me,” she laughs. “I should have let you go hours ago. Nine am!” she calls after Jess. “Not a minute before!”

Kara is happy to stay quiet during the exchange. She can’t help but smile—Lena’s care for her assistant, _all_ her employees, really, is written all over her face and it’s touching and lovely and she feels something slot into place and leave her a little breathless with the comforting weight of it when she realises that she really, really likes that about Lena. That this confirms what she thought—that Lena cares, deeply, in everything she does.

Her eyes are still soft when she looks over at Kara and they stay like that for a moment—Lena in the doorway, Kara behind the desk—until a helicopter flies overhead and the whirr of its blades draws Lena’s gaze skyward. She can’t see it, of course, not through the roof but it’s enough to cut the tension.

She pushes off the door frame and steps to the side to let Kara in.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“This is a nice surprise.” Lena returns to her desk, tucks herself back into place. Her hair is in a loose bun—professional, but Kara can see where she’s tugged at it and had to redo it in a rush—and she slips off her heels when she’s sitting again. “Are you here to relieve the agents?”

“Sort of,” Kara nods. She grins over at lena and readies herself to say it—you’re safe! he’s in a cell! you don’t have to worry about being hunted anymore!—but then Lena is peering up at her curiously. “What is it?”

“There’s plaster in your hair.”

“What?” Kara’s hand darts up to her hair and she frowns when it feels gritty, when her fingertips come away white. “Oh shoot.” Kara ducks her head, scurries over to the mirror and brushes at the flakes that she can see. She dusts at her neck too where it sticks around her collar. “I thought I got it all but I guess not.”

“I guess not,” Lena agrees. Kara wants to make it quick but there’s a lot more plaster than she thought there would be and this is so embarrassing and her neck is heating up, she can see the colour in the mirror. Then she sees Lena push her chair back and she turns to tell her that she’s done, that she doesn’t need help, but can’t form the words when Lena smiles at her softly and gestures for her to turn around. “Why the plaster? Renovations at CatCo?” She plucks a piece from Kara’s braid and holds it up teasingly before she tosses it neatly into her waste bin. 

“Um.” Kara darts a look toward her door. She relaxes when she remembers that Jess has been sent away and there’s almost no one else in the building. “Something like that. I flew through a roof.”

“How dramatic. Accident or on purpose?” Lena asks with a hint of a tease still. She’s facing away from Kara as she moves over to her drinks table and Kara hates that she can’t shake the feeling that a super-powered girlfriend isn’t quite what Lena wanted. If it were, she would comment on her flying, on what else she could do, she would look her in the eye when she asked. Right?

Kara touches two fingers to her glasses. Then presses them back up her nose. “On purpose, actually.”

“How novel.”

“Hey! I’m really good at flying.”

Lena pours herself a water and smiles over at Kara, eyes lingering on her mouth for a moment. Just a moment, but long enough that Kara can’t think about anything but how she felt pressed up against her, how it felt to kiss her, how it felt to have those lips dragging over her skin.

Lena lifts her glass to her lips. Red lips part, press to the rim, and she closes her eyes contentedly at the first sip. When she swallows, Kara sucks in a sharp breath and takes two steps forward.

Lena laughs a small laugh, eyes crinkling at the corners, and she holds up a hand to stop Kara where she is.

“Please, something tells me I won’t get any work done tonight if you kiss me now.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t work late then,” Kara suggests. 

“It keeps me sane. And in full view to be bait, remember?”

“Bait.”

“I don’t want to argue about that again, Kara,” she says quietly, drawing back a little and Kara nods very quickly. 

“Neither do I. I just—gosh, I should’ve said it _ages_ ago, but I was here and looking at you and then the plaster and you were talking and I didn’t want to interrupt and,” Kara laughs and when Lena smiles at her again, confused but indulgent, her heart lifts. “We caught him,” Kara tells her happily. “It was his roof I flew through.”

Lena’s mouth drops open and her glass falls from suddenly numb fingers. Kara rushes to grab it, catches it scant inches from Lena’s hand. She sets it on the table and steps back a few paces.

“You caught him?” Lena breathes. Kara nods. “You’re sure? Absolutely sure?”

“Well, he was yelling about a Luthor b—” Kara stops, turns her head sideways to scowl at the wall until she’s gathered herself to continue. “You. He was yelling about you and Lex and me and then he shot me and we found a _heap_ of incriminating stuff so,”

“He _shot_ you?” Lena closes the distance between them, hands going to Kara’s arms, her shoulders, squeezing. “And you’re okay?”

“Well,” Kara shrugs, lips upturning a little cockily, and she straightens her glasses again. “I  _am_ bulletproof, if you recall.”

Lena indulges the comment for a moment. She seems to enjoy the smirk and she draws in to Kara, cups her cheek. Her thumb brushes just over Kara’s lower lip, right at the corner, and Kara’s grin drops instantly when she leans into the touch.

“He’s also very smart and very well connected,” Lena says. “He didn’t hit you with anything alien, did he?”

Kara hesitates. It was obvious that he had been trying to replicate Kryptonite—the armour piercing rounds had actually sent her reeling back a few steps and one had cracked a rib which was healed _now_ but the tenderness tells her that she’s bruised still—but Lena doesn’t know about Kryptonite yet and she doesn’t need to know that Kara got hurt making sure he couldn’t hurt Lena again, so she shrugs.

“I’m okay.”

Lena narrows her eyes and nods slowly. “My hero,” she murmurs.

Flushing lightly, Kara lays her hands on Lena’s waist and she clears her throat. “Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

“Well, um, congratulations are in order. There’s no one after you and,” Kara hesitates, “no need to keep Supergirl around. If you don’t want that.”

“To be safe, I think I should,” Lena tells her, and Kara nods quickly. 

“To be safe.”

She’s still nodding when Lena rises up onto her toes and kisses Kara dizzy.

“Wow,” Kara breathes when she pulls back. “Wow.”

“Any other words you want to try out?”

“No.” Kara smiles dreamily down at her. “Just... wow.”

Lena laughs again and draws her in for another kiss. This one is slower, tender and soft, and it helps to ease the jumping nerves that still spark in Kara’s chest whenever she thinks of everything she doesn’t know, the space that still feels like it’s forming between them even though they’re pressed together, even though Kara can taste her and hold her. It soothes that, and Kara relaxes into Lena’s hold.

“I still have a lot of work to do,” Lena murmurs apologetically against her lips. “Will you stay?”

“I—” Kara sighs when her phone buzzes. “I think that’s the universe saying no but, let me check?” Lena nods and steps away, finishes the rest of her water. Kara can feel her eyes on her and reads Alex’s message quickly. “He confessed,” she tells Lena. “There wasn’t much wiggle room for that, he knew we had him. He wants to talk to me.”

She doesn’t imagine the way the room goes cold. At least, she doesn’t think she does. Lena looks frozen—like a statue, like a _sculpture_ , the most beautiful one Kara has ever seen—and she thaws just enough to nod and smile.

“Of course.”

“Lena,”

“Just do me a favour, Supergirl,” she says, coming back to her side. “Don’t believe everything you hear.”

“Lena, he’s an assassin and he shot me,” Kara reminds her. “I won’t listen to a word of it.” 

Lena nods. The smile she gives Kara now is more genuine. She’s still a little stiff in her arms but she leans in, slowly, making sure Kara is okay with it, and rests her head on Kara’s shoulder. “Thank you. For keeping me safe. For letting me know.”

Kara shifts her hold to encompass Lena more fully and nods. “I have to go.”

“A minute more,” Lena asks of her, and Kara can’t refuse that. “And I’ll go home before two.”

“Before midnight,” Kara counters. 

“Oh Kara, that isn’t going to happen.” She laughs into Kara’s shoulder at the exasperated sound Kara makes. Stops when Kara’s phone buzzes again. “You need to leave.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re a hero,” Lena excuses her, stepping back out of Kara’s arms. “It can’t all be saving damsels and daring rescues.”

Kara sighs, gestures to the window. “Can I?”

“Of course.”

Her quick change is very quick and Kara _knows_ she doesn’t imagine Lena turning away as soon as the crest is visible, that she opens up her laptop instead of looking at her again.

“I’ll see you soon?” Kara murmurs, and Lena nods. 

“I look forward to it.”


	13. Chapter 13

Alex meets her at the window when she flies in, straight from Lena’s. She steps in front of her when Kara makes to head for the interrogation room.

“Alex, what are you doing?”

“You’re going to get checked out first,” she tells her. Just to make sure. “I asked you not to fly when you’re hurt like this.”

“I had to let Lena know,”

“You could have called.”

“Called?” Kara huffs. She crosses her arms over her chest to glare at her sister. “Right, I should have just called her up and said what, exactly? Hey Lena, caught your assassin, have a nice night, see you later?”

Alex shrugs. “Isn’t that basically what you said to her anyway?”

Kara flushes, because Alex is _right_ , but it’s more meaningful when it’s done face to face. And nicer. Nicer as in she took her time to actually let her know and make sure that Lena felt safe, not nicer as in she got to see Lena and that’s always nice. Of course.

Alex points and Kara slinks ahead of her into the medical bay. She turns back once to argue and Alex just lifts an eyebrow.

“I’m _going_ ,” Kara grumbles. She drops onto one of the beds and winces when the movement jostles her side. She’s still not used to bruises—or, ones that refuse to heal anyway—and she prods her side curiously.

“Stop that,” Alex tells her, and Kara pops her head up just in time to see her sister roll her eyes. “The bruising means it’s going to _hurt_ , dummy.”

“I was checking.”

Alex shakes her head and sits down on a rolling stool at her desk. She picks up Kara’s first aid pack and takes out a scanner, kicks herself over to Kara’s side. “Okay, do you feel better or worse than before?”

Kara considers the question carefully. Her bruise stings a little now but that’s because she poked it. Overall, the hurt has slunk into a barely noticeable throb rather than a persistent ache that made it hard to breathe. She nods. “Better.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing. Lift your arms for me.” Kara does, hesitating when the move hurts but Alex notes that with a sharp look and urges her to lift them over her head. She scans slowly up Kara’s side. “This would be easier if you took the suit off, you know.”

“This whole place is made of glass,” Kara hisses. “I’m not taking my suit off.”

“They’re professionals.”

“They’re strangers.” Kara lowers her arms again when Alex nods that she can. “Besides, I’ll heal up by tomorrow, it’s fine.” Alex rolls back over to her desk and types for a minute at her computer. She doesn’t say anything and Kara frowns. “I  _will_ be okay by tomorrow, right? You didn’t drag me in here to say that I’m benched?”

“No, I didn’t. You’re going to be fine.” She prints out the data from the scanner and checks over it quickly. “Like I thought, you’ll be fine. I still want you to get at least an hour under the sun lamps before you leave later.”

“Alex, I can’t, I promised Lena—”

“Stop.” Alex moves to stand in front of Kara, face very stern. She places her hands on her sister’s shoulders. “Whatever you promised her, she can wait until you’re well again. Just because you _will_ be better doesn’t mean that you _are_. Okay?”

Kara would argue, but she’s tired and Alex does look worried and stern and she still can’t quite shake that uncomfortable feeling that Lena is keeping something from her, so she nods. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“ _Y_ _es_ ,” she sighs. Her lips quirk up into a cheeky smile. “You know you look just like Eliza when you get all stern and mom me.”

“You take that back,” Alex demands, and Kara just smiles. Her smile warms a little more when Alex fidgets with her cape, runs her hands through her hair. “There we go,” she says. “You look great.”

“Ready to strike fear into an assassins heart kind of great?”

“Kara, I’ll be honest, you always look a bit too gentle to do that but,” Alex looks her over, shrugs. “It’ll do.”

It may have been a joke but when Kara stands and makes her way to the interrogation room shoulder to shoulder with Alex, she feels her good humour strip away with every step. This man hurt Lena, this man stalked her and terrorised her, and by the time she makes it to the room, the other agents won’t meet her eyes.

She suspects they might not be blue anymore.

“Kara,” Alex says to her softly before she enters. She stops, lifts her chin and glances sideways to her sister.

“What?” She closes her eyes when her tone comes out a bit too clipped but Alex doesn’t comment on it, and she waves away Kara’s apology. Instead, she cups Kara’s hand and drops her ear piece into it.

“Turn this on now. Winn and I will be giving you questions to ask him while you’re talking to him.” She doesn’t tell her to calm down. She doesn’t tell her to take it easy or to pretend to be something other than angry. For that, Kara is grateful. She leaves Kara with a last squeeze of her hand and steps into the next room.

Kara slips her ear piece in and taps it on.

“ _N_ _od if you can hear me.”_

Kara nods.

“ _G_ _reat. He’s in the room now_.”

Her hand shakes when she reaches for the door knob and Kara pauses, sucks in a deep breath. It’s stupid—she saw him earlier, she burst in through his roof and caught a bullet to the ribs and it’s not as heroic as her usual feats in that she stumbled back through a wall and only came back into the game to twist his gun into a pretzel and stop him from shooting the agent sitting on his legs and trying to cuff him. It’s stupid—he’s cuffed now and in their headquarters and he can’t hurt Lena anymore so why does she feel so scared?

“ _K_ _ara_ ,” Alex says softly in her ear. “ _Y_ _ou’re going to do just fine.”_ She shakes her head and Alex says something low to whoever else is with her. Kara hears her step to the corner. She can see her too, just through the wall, and Alex leans against it. “ _I_ _t’s okay that you’re angry. You’re not going to hurt him.”_

“What if I do? I—he almost hurt so many people, Alex.” She doesn’t mention Lena. “And he _shot_ me. What if I mess this up? What if I hurt him?” What if I want to, is the real question. Because she does.

“ _Yo_ _u’re not going to. You are not like him.”_

_“I scare people too_ ,” Kara whispers. Alex is quiet for so long, she thinks that she didn’t hear her and she reaches out for the door again because she has to do this. 

“ _Y_ _ou are nothing like this man. You don’t have to face him to know that.”_  She pauses for a moment. “ _D_ _o you want me in there with you?”_

_“_ No. I can do this.”

“ _O_ _kay. let’s go then.”_

* * *

They sit in silence for almost twenty minutes before he speaks.

Winn keeps up an almost constant stream of suggestions in her ear until she shifts her eyes just slightly up to the camera. She hears the unmistakable crack of Alex’s hand on the back of his head, a pained ‘ _ow’,_ and then she has silence once more.

She leans comfortably in her chair, angled just a little so one hand rests on the table and her other she hides on her thigh, cape gripped in it tight.

“I didn’t have you pegged as someone who enjoys long stretches of silence, Supergirl,” he murmurs. He doesn’t look up from the table, where his hands lay flat on the cool metal. 

She hates him. He sounds so normal—his voice is warm, with a hint of an accent. She’s sure Alex would know what accent it is but all she knows is that some of his vowels flatten and come out long. His lips don’t move much from where they’re fixed in a little smile.

Kara shrugs. “You’re the one who asked to speak to me.”

“True. I did.”

“Did you want something? Or did you just ask me here to waste my time?” 

“I guess,” he says slowly, rolling his head to the side and then back, stretching slowly. “I guess I just wanted to get a read on you,” he admits, and finally meets her eyes.

Kara tries not to shiver.

His eyes are cold and flat. They’re brown and quite unremarkable and _he’s so normal_ , Winn had told her, but there is nothing normal about the way he stares at her. Like he wishes he had a mouth like a Gordanian with a jaw he could dislocate and bite down, crush her with teeth as big and strong as bricks. Eyes locked on her, his wrists grind against their cuffs as he stretches out toward her with clawing fingers. The quiet of it, the aching slow pace of it, of the way he reaches for her, makes it all the more unsettling and it’s all Kara can do to stay in her seat and meet his gaze, unconcerned.

“My name is Andrew Voss.”

“I know what your name is.”

He nods. Doesn’t seem perturbed by that. “I don’t suppose I’ll get anything more than Supergirl?” he shrugs. Shivers, with a smile. “Chilly reception. Also unexpected. I’ve _watched you_ ,” he tells her with sudden heat, leaning in close.

Kara grips tighter to her cape and stays still.

“I’ve watched what you do. Flying around the city, saving people. I’ve watched you a lot,” he laughs. Kara swallows the sick, curling way that makes her feel and sets her jaw firmly. “You know what I figured out?”

“I get the feeling you’re going to tell me.”

“Why not? You’re here, I’m here,” he laughs. She hates that his laugh is warm and dry. It’s a good laugh, a pretty normal laugh. “Why not talk about it, hmm?”

“Why not?” she agrees quietly.

She wants to slam his smug face into the table but she holds still.

“I figured out what the difference is. Between you and your cousin.” When she can’t control the very slightly movement of her hand—a twitch, really, she hadn’t been expecting him to say that—his eyes glint with something real for the first time. “Do you want to know what it is?”

“I  _want_ to punch you in the face and leave, actually,” she tells him curtly, and she hears Winn hiss in her ear. 

Andrew just laughs again. “It’s so refreshing to hear you speak your mind. Don’t get me wrong, the sound bites you give to CatCo, they’re interesting too. Very polished. Not that first one, but the rest. Someone help you with that?” She says nothing. “I like to watch the videos people take of you on Youtube. The one where you break that drivers hand is my favourite. You really _have_ learned to hide it now, haven’t you? That power inside you. That urge to use it.”

“I want to help people.”

“Mm.” He slaps his hand on the table, grins widely. “Actually, I change my mind. The one where you throw Cat Grant from her own building. _T_ _hat_ one is my favourite. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched it.”

“I wasn’t myself.”

“Wrong!” He taps the table, that empty smile still in place. “That’s _exactly_ who you are.”

Kara opens her mouth to argue. Stops when she hears Alex in her ear for the first time. It’s reassuring to hear her sister's voice, even if she isn’t saying what she wants to hear.

“ _Le_ _t him say whatever he wants, Kara. Go with it. Ask him why you’re here.”_

_"_ Why am I here?” she asks him stiffly. 

“You aren’t going to deny it?”

“Why did you ask me here?”

“You’re dangerous.”

“Why did you ask me here?” she repeats, quietly. 

“Oh come on, Supergirl. Ignore the voices in your head,” he smirks just past her to the wall, waves a tiny bit. “We have more interesting subjects to discuss, don’t you think?”

“I think I want to know why you brought me here.”

“Not one for small talk. Punch first, questions later?”

It’s Winn’s voice she hears now. “ _S_ _tay cool, Kara,”_

She stares down the man opposite her and feels her voice drip like ice from between her lips. Following Winn’s instructions as she thinks is right. “As opposed to you? Stalk for a couple of weeks, _then_ try to blow people up? Just to make sure you hit as many people as possible?”

“ _Ye_ _s how very cool of you,”_ Winn mumbles.  

Andrew lifts his shoulders, shakes his head. “I had a job to do. This isn’t who I am.”

“Your choices are _everything_ that you are,” Kara says firmly. “You say you know who I am? Well I know who _you_ are, Mister Voss. You are a murderer and you take joy in it. In making your victims afraid. You say that we aren’t human, but if you are what humans are then I am _glad_ I am not.” She stands, sends her chair skittering back. 

“And there we have it,” he sighs, smile almost genuine. “I thought that's what it was. Wanted to see it for myself, though.”

“See _what_?”

“The difference. Between you and Superman. He thinks he is so _good_. So righteous. A good human man.”

“He is. And a better man than you could ever dream of being.”

“He’s no man at all. He’s an alien playing at being human. It’s despicable,” he tells her, as easily as he might give directions on the street.

“Despicable?” She steps forward, drops both hands against the table and leans in toward him. “ _D_ _espicable_? You get paid to murder people. You tried to blow up a city block. You handed a child a bomb, patted her on the head, and told her not to move. _T_ _hat_ is despicable.”

“Now you, on the other hand,” he continues like she hadn’t spoken. He stretches his hands out again, ignoring the scrape of metal on tender skin. His fingers brush close to hers and she yanks her hands back, metal buckling beneath her. He doesn’t seem to mind. He aims for the dents she’s left behind instead, traces the outline with his eyes and draws it with a finger. “You know you’re different. You know you’re playing the game of humanity, don’t you? Tell me,” he leans in, adjusts his cuffs so he can rest his chin on his hands. His grin doesn’t come near to touching his eyes. “What’s it like, pretending that you’re not a monster?”

“I should be asking you that.”

“Ask away.” He spreads his hands as wide as he is able. Kara notes with only the tiniest bit of satisfaction that it isn’t very wide at all. “But I am no monster. A bad human, certainly. But you?” Something cracks in him, something necessary and controlled, and Kara sees the hate he’s kept in check start to contaminate everything. His eyes, still cold, are fixed on her and he leans forward eagerly. “You’re the stuff of nightmares, aren’t you?”

“I save people. You kill them. We clearly have very different ideas on what makes a nightmare.”

“You aren’t like us. You’re not even like him. He thinks he’s human—he _wants_ to be human. A little stronger, yes, but ultimately human. You’re different. What is it?” His eyes flick over Kara’s face. “Do you think you can earn a place? Save a few children? Become one of us?”

“I don’t want to be one of you,” Kara denies. She didn’t expect the words and it must show on her face because his eyes blaze with some sick kind of delight.

“ _P_ _ride_. So humans _are_ beneath you.”

“I don’t have to despise humans to love my people. I do despise _you_ though,” she comments easily. Winn and Alex are talking at her and, when she’s heard enough, she reaches to her ear and pulls out her connection. “I have had enough of this.”

“There is a theory that black holes sing, did you know? A note so deep you would die if you heard it. Black holes are formed when a star implodes. Tell me, I'm just a little curious. Whatever happened to your star? After the death of your planet, I mean.” How he keeps his voice so light and conversational when he looks like he wants to tear at her, she doesn’t know. “Do you know what it sounds like? A screaming star?”

Kara stares at him for a moment before she makes her way to the door.

“Wait! Don't leave, not so soon. Don’t you want to know what else I have in store for sweet little Lena Luthor?” Kara pauses, turns back. She doesn’t miss the little flash of triumph, the smile that slips into place. “Sit with me again.”

“I don’t think so.”

“You think I would let you catch me and let that be that?” He grins. “I have more plans. This one wasn’t just a job, after all. Lex is a good friend of mine.”

“Lex Luthor is a madman.”

“Watch your _mouth_ ,” he sneers, mouth twisting. “Lex Luthor is a great man.”

Kara rolls her eyes, opens the door.

“You don’t want to hear how Lena is going to die?”

“Is it poison?” she asks him, tilting her head toward him lazily. “In her water? Or maybe it’s the bombs you made that the girl was doing to distribute.” It’s her turn to smile when he glares, pulls in earnest at his cuffs. “We found them, Voss. And it wasn’t very clever of you to blackmail one of her lab techs. It took my people all of ten minutes to figure it out.”

“Then why did you meet me?”

Kara stares at him for a long moment. Then, she says, “I wanted to see your face. I wanted to hear what you had to say. And I’m happy to see that you have misjudged everyone you come across.” She turns to leave but something stops her. Some desire to say it out aloud perhaps. “You see the world as dark and cold as you are. It’s a fault. You have misjudged Lena. That girl? The one you blackmailed? Lena is a good boss. She’s a good _person._  She told the police herself, before we even got to her.”

“So she has bought favour—”

“She has earned it,” Kara tells him. “And mine. Lex Luthor will never succeed in harming Lena. I will protect her.” She turns away fully and she only stops when his cuffs scrape against their hold and he lunges, held back but spitting his words after her.

“You can’t. Not from everyone. Lex isn’t her only enemy, even in her own family.”

Kara stares at him for a long moment before she steps out of the room. She closes the door and leans back against it once it is shut. Sucks in a few deep breathes until her lungs finally manage to fill properly, until she feels strong enough to make it into the next room. It’s just Alex in there now and she sags against the table.

Alex wraps an arm around her shoulder and Kara sinks into it with relief.

“At least,” Kara says unsteadily, “at least I know now that Lena doesn’t hate me.” She rubs her hands over her arms. Distantly, she realises that she’s shaking and Alex tightens her hold. It doesn’t help much. It helps a little, but she feels chilled from listening to him, like his voice was ice water pouring into her ears and she just had to let it happen.

“How’s that?”

“Because,” Kara turns, lets herself look through the wall at him. “She’s never looked at me _anything_ like that.”

Alex rubs her shoulder. “I’m glad your girlfriend doesn’t hate you,” she says, and though she laughs, she sounds a little worried. “You know that she’s supposed to like you, right?”

“She does. She _does_. Also I’m not sure we’re girlfriends yet.”

“Well, cross that bridge when you get to it. Back to her liking you—she likes _all_ of you, right? Not just the bits she wants?”

“Alex, she’s not like that,” Kara denies quickly, turning to face her. “Please. Don’t judge her—you don’t _know_ her.”

“Kara, Kara,” Alex soothes, “that’s not what I meant. I mean, you being Supergirl. Not your,” she raises her eyes to the ceiling. “Not your sex bits.”

“Right.” Kara runs both hands through her hair and shakes her head. “There’s something I haven’t told you.”

“This never ends well.” Alex hooks her foot around a chair leg, drags it close. She sits, rests her hands on Kara’s knees. “Go on.”

“It’s not bad.” Kara tilts her head down, lays her hands over her sister’s. “At least, I don’t think it is. Not really. You know I told her who I am.” Alex nods. “I thought maybe she still hated Supergirl, but I don’t think she ever has. Mistrusted, maybe, and I can’t fault her on that. She keeps thinking of herself—keeps thinking that _I_ think of her—as a Luthor.”

“She is one.”

“Not how she _fears_ ,” Kara tells her. “I don’t think she hates me, that’s not what I see from her. I think she’s afraid.”

“Of you?”

“Yes.”

“Well.” Alex squeezes her knees. “I know your heart,” she smiles up at her. “And she has no reason for fear. You’ll show her that.”

“You think?”

“I know it.” She nods firmly. “Now, whatever you’ve promised Lena, you owe me at least an hour in the sun bed.” 

“Right.”

“And Kara?” Alex waits until her sister is looking at her fully. “I’m proud of you. You didn’t have to talk to him but I think it was brave of you to do it.”

"It was the right thing to do.” Kara frowns down at their hands. “Did you hear what he said? About Lex not being her only enemy?”

“I heard it.”

Kara scowls through the wall at him. “I don’t think he meant to tell me that. I don’t think this is over.”


	14. Chapter 14

Normally, Kara isn’t all that fond of her sun bed. Forget that she’s usually shoved into it whenever she gets so much as a scratch—that has to be like, some Pavlovian response or something, right? That she associates the bed with being hurt and in danger—but on top of that it’s also cramped and uncomfortable and no matter how well scientists think they’ve perfectly reproduced the effects of sunlight, it doesn’t _feel_ the same.

This morning, there’s something different about the whole thing.

It’s, like, three in the morning and Alex has taken the video recording of Kara’s interrogation-interview thing with _him_ and she’s gone back to work but not before frog marching her little sister to the room adjoining the medical bay and basically tucking her in.

“You know I still have my powers and that I’m _fine_ , right?”

“Humour me,” Alex grumbles and she pulls off Kara’s boots. She lays a hand on her ankle and squeezes. Opens her mouth to say something and, when she hesitates, Kara beams at her.

“I know, Alex. Look, I’m resting.” She shuts her eyes tight and turns onto her side, pillows her hands under her cheek and fakes a quiet snore. When Alex laughs, Kara peeks over at her, shoulders, hands, body relaxing into the bed and into the warmth the heat lamps provide. It’s not the same as the sun, not even close, but it _is_ kind of nice. “Hey, Alex?”

She doesn’t look up from her tablet, swipes the overhead lights down until they’re a soft haze instead of clinically bright. She gives her sister a quiet “Mhm” as she works.

“I’m, I am sorry,” Kara tells her quietly. “For, you know. Getting blown up and stuff. Without you.” She knows Alex understands what she means—not that she would ever want her sister in close proximity with a bomb. Ever. But that she knows that Alex worries about her, and more now that she’s Supergirl, and _more_ when Supergirl flies off to do incredibly dangerous things without even telling her. “And thank you.”

Alex looks over at her, dark eyes curious. “For what?”

Kara shrugs. Her smile turns a little shy and she rummages her feet around inside her blanket, pulling the corners out from under the bed to wrap around her legs. When she’s done getting comfortable she shrugs again. “You know. Being my sister.” Helping her protect Lena. Knowing what Lena means to her. _H_ _elping_ her. _T_ _rusting_ her.

She gets a look—complete with narrowed eyes and a head tilt and a slow tap of Alex’s index finger against the desk—and then Alex makes her way over and shoves Kara backwards and lays on the bed next to her. Kara’s heart sinks the tiniest bit because she’s not getting under the covers which means she’s not going to stay for long but Alex wraps an arm around her shoulders and leans her head against Kara’s.

“Your big heart is gonna get you into trouble one of these days,” Alex sighs, and Kara grins because Alex _sounds_ a tiny bit annoyed and mostly resigned but there’s this edge—this soft edge to her tone that’s just so enormously fond and proud and she leans into her sister’s side and smiles.

“Yeah. But that’s what I’ve got you for.”

* * *

 

Kara sleeps fitfully for a time—her interrogation keeps replaying over and over in her head, and she can’t stop wondering whether lena is awake and worrying too, and the DEO is never really the most quiet place for sleeping, and she wonders whether Lena has called or messaged her but Alex stole her phone to “make sure she got a proper rest”, and she wonders if she still has a job as a reporter after this week—and then she is saved.

A highly suspicious looking Winn rolls a screen into her room. It’s a really big screen that he probably—almost definitely—doesn’t have any business touching let alone hooking up so they can watch Netflix on it. He’s brought pillow too and “No blankets, that would be totally unprofessional obviously, Kara” but he takes one half of the blanket she has twisted around her legs when she offers.

They push her bed back against the wall and lower the blinds so there’s no glare on the screen and make a little nest for themselves. Kara sits, lamps on her left side only because she’s pretty sure Winn doesn’t want a tan but she knows Alex expects her to have her lamps on for a few more hours yet. Winn crosses his legs and wraps his arms around a pillow and looks at her expectantly.

“We’re missing something,” he says thoughtfully.

“We are?”

“We are.” Winn almost falls sideways to grab his bag off the floor and Kara laughs when he pulls out seven microwave packets of popcorn. “Am I a genius or what?” he crows and he grins, flushes only a tiny bit, when he’s treated to a no holds barred, ear-to-ear beaming Kara Danvers smile.

She pops two of the packets with a quick burst of heat vision and Winn hands her the television remote with a flourish.

Winn casts sideways glances at her every now and again, when she doesn’t laugh as generously at a joke as she usually might, and she knows he sees the way she feels a tiny bit distant but he says nothing and just offers her another packet of popcorn once she’s munched through the first and yeah. It’s good.

She cuddles a pillow and lets her worry fall away, just for a little while. The bed still isn’t really comfortable and the sunlight doesn’t feel right but it’s warm and she’s with her best friend who has gone out of his way to make her more comfortable and he’s picked a show that will make them laugh so…it’s good? Really good. The perfect way to end this shit storm of a week.

“I can’t believe you watched this without me.”

“I can’t believe that you’re complaining after you got to bunk up with a super hot genius millionaire for a week.” Kara pauses, handful of popcorn halfway to her lips, and she cuts a glance sideways at her friend. “What?”

“Are you okay with it?”

“I—pftt,” Winn laughs her comment away, flailing a hand dismissively in the air. “Of _course_ , why wouldn’t I be?” Before she can suggest anything, he continues. “I mean _sure_ , I kissed you. But you don’t like me so it’s like,” he brings his hands together before miming an explosion, complete with sound effects.

“A bomb?”

“What? No, that’s not a bo—no, I meant, like, incompatible. Like, two stable agents that meet and the reaction is unstable—you know what,” Winn shakes his head, “I just mean we don’t work and so I’m totally cool with you getting the girl.”

Kara grins and nudges his knee with her own. “Cool.”

Winn purses his lips and then, with a cheeky grin, he pauses their show. “ _S_ _o_ , you’re going to tell me everything then? Were you scared? Was _she_ scared? Did you get to see any of her experiments? Was she nice? What was the safe house like?”

“Uh.” Kara laughs and holds up a hand. She thinks about his questions for a moment, taking the time to tie her hair back. “I was scared, she was…” She squints into the distance, thoughtful and unable to resist the gentle way she remembers Lena. “Tough.”

“I’ll bet.”

“I didn’t see any experiments but she told me about something she was doing with plastic. She wants to save the world,” she breathes out, slumping back against the wall.

“So you’re _both_ superheroes. Only, she has genius level IQ and lots of money and you’ve got laser eyes and can fly.”

She laughs and grins over at him. It’s a little disconcerting when his own smile shifts and a sliver of concern embeds itself in Kara’s chest. She can feel it shift and prick with each of her breaths.

“What is it?”

“It’s just…the line between superhero and—“

“Winn, no,”

“I have to say it,” he tells her quietly. “You know I do. The line between hero and villain is dangerously thin. Just…do you think she’s one of _those_  Luthor’s?"

“No,” she tells him, firm and a little bit sharp. “I don’t.”

“Okay then.” He taps the remote against his leg and nods. “Right.” They’re silent for a bit and then he’s looking at her like he wants to keep talking about it, and Kara doesn’t. This isn’t a conversation she wants to have because she wants Winn to like Lena, and she doesn’t want to push this mistrust into a wider gap—she _really_ doesn’t want to do that. Lena doesn’t deserve that—she never has but she’s been subjected to it for so long and the least Kara can do is make sure that her people aren’t going to continue that—so she takes the remote from him and presses play once more. Winn settles back against the wall in a silent agreement that that is the end of that.

“And hey,” she says after a little while, “we do work, Winn. As friends. And as partners,” Kara says softly. She nudges him and he nudges her back. “Really well.”

“ _D_ _uh_. Brains and brawn, baby! Brains and brawn.” He holds up his hands at the look on her face. “Don’t call you baby. Got it.” They watch their show silently for a while longer. And then he says, “I've got your back, Kara.”

“I know.”

He looks like he wants to say something more—the intent shows in his eyes and the very slight intake of breath—but instead, he scratches at his chin and turns back to the screen.

* * *

J’onn gets a handful of popcorn to the face when he walks in on them. It’s early morning—Kara imagines she can feel the sun unfurling in her chest as it rises—and they moved on from funny shows to horror movies and even though they’re all enormously tacky and very lame and not nearly as scary as almost every single day being Supergirl, a door opening unexpectedly sends them both into quick hysterics and J’onn is two seconds away from being hit with the popcorn bowl before he catches it.

He takes in the whole set up—Kara and Winn sitting on her bed side by side, shoulder to shoulder, pillow behind their backs and over their laps, both pairs of boots kicked off onto the floor. Winn’s knees are up to his chest, Kara’s legs kicked out and crossed at the ankles, and they’re _clutching_ at one another. He crosses his arms, raises his eyebrows at them. Kara looks around at what he must see and sheepishly lets go of Winn.

“Hi, J’onn,” she says, like they aren’t using the DEO for a sleepover/movie marathon.

“We didn’t think you were a murderer,” Winn blurts out, and he rubs at his arm where Kara slaps him. “ _W_ _hat_?”

“Shh!”

“I  _think_ he knows what we’re doing,” he hisses back at her. “And did you forget he can _read minds_?”

J’onn continues to stare at the pair for a good long minute more before he says, to Kara, “I've been informed that you’re supposed to be resting.”

“I am resting. Look!” She gestures down to herself. “Legs up.”

“Legs up,” Winn agrees.

“Pillows fluffed.”

“ _E_ _xpertly_ fluffed.”

“Sunlamps on.”

“And working at top efficiency.”

“Eating nutritious food,” she adds breezily. Winn scrunches up his nose, not disagreeing with her exactly, not out aloud, but he gives her a disbelieving glance and only nods emphatically when she nudges him. Hard. 

“Oh yeah, definitely. Nutritious.”

“See? I'm resting.” Kara shrugs, shoots J’onn a sweet, winning smile. 

“Resting includes sleep.”

Kara frowns, a little confused. “Are you giving me a bed time?”

“Of course not,” he scoffs, and Kara shares a sly little grin with Winn. It fades when J’onn adds, “But Alex might. And she’s headed this way.”

Kara shrugs. With bravado she doesn’t feel, she says, “Let her find me.”

“And you, Agent Schott?”

Winn clears his throat, tugs at the tie he loosened hours ago and gives his boss a slight smile. “I’m looking after our prime consultant. VIP treatment, sir.”

“Right.” J’onn breathes out for a long time, a breath that just tips over into a sigh. Then he turns away. “Agent Danvers,” he calls. “Won’t you come with me to the armoury? Surprise spot check.”

There’s a brief silence and, at Winn’s urging, Kara looks through the wall for her sister. She winces— “Oh boy, it’s bad,” she whispers. “She’s got her hands on her hips.”

“Oh no.”

“She’s coming this way,” Kara tells him. “No, wait, J’onn stopped her.”

“And?” Winn asks. 

“ _W_ _hat are they doing in there?”_ Alex sighs, and Kara snorts. She laughs properly when J’onn lays a hand on her shoulder and turns her away, urges her down the hall. 

“ _I_ _believe they called it...resting.”_

Alex _laughs_ and walks with him, shakes her head. “ _Fi_ _ne. But Kara, if you’re still being stupid with Winn when I get back in an hour, I'm shutting your little operation down. Got it?_ ”

She repeats the threat to Winn who shrugs, waves a hand. “Ah, she’s a pushover,” he tells her with the slightest quaver to his voice that means he’s one hundred per cent lying. “Let’s keep watching.”

They make it to the end of the movie—it’s utterly cliche and not really gory at all. Winn laughs when the bad guy is slain and Kara smiles, yawning. The warmth of her sun lamps has really got to her, seeped into her, and she’s very relaxed and comfortable. She slips down the wall a little, curls into one of her pillows with another yawn.

Distantly, she’s aware that Winn turns off the screen. She can hear him walking around for a little while, a little louder after he tugs his boots back on, and then she feels the heavy material of her cape being draped over her. She noses her pillow, grips onto the red cloth.

Later still, there’s a familiar smell. Faintly floral shampoo and gunpowder and boot polish and antiseptic wash and the faintest hint of cigarettes. She smiles when Alex lays a hand on her shoulder, smoothes her hair back. She thinks Alex might be talking to her, mumbles something back. Something soft and adoring, probably insensible. She smiles again when a thumb strokes over her temple and Alex keeps a hand on her head for a moment longer. Just long enough for Kara to drift off, comfortable in the knowledge that she and everyone she cares for are safe.

* * *

She’s woken by a voice. Not particularly loud, but it’s sharp and _angry_ and she knows it. It’s gone before she can fully pull herself from sleep and she’s still a little foggy but she’s pretty sure, well, she’s pretty sure it came from several floors away. The garage, maybe? She comes slowly more awake as she stretches out her senses. She’s warm and doesn’t want to leave her bed, or pillow, but Lena sounds upset and, when she finds her heartbeat, Kara thinks she might be afraid too.

Kara rolls off her bed. She floats a foot or so above the floor when her bare feet touch cool tiles and she briefly considers pulling her boots on but...she’s _sleepy_. And impervious to harm? And she can _fly_. So whatever, she doesn’t want to and she doesn’t have to. Instead, she changes into the training sweats left at the end of the bed and tugs on the socks from her Kara outfit—baby blue, with little dogs on them, very cute and she loves them—and she grabs her cape from where it’s pooled on the floor.

Dressed, she floats out the door.

The agents in black don’t pay her any mind at all, not past quick nods. Except for one, who offers her a water bottle when she settles in the centre of the command room and cocks her head to the side to listen for Lena and Alex.

“Agent Danvers said you should stay hydrated, ma’am.”

“Thanks, Peter.” She takes it, cradles it. She rubs at her eyes with two fingers to get the sleep dust out. “Do you know where she is?”

“Uh, escorting a witness to a briefing room three, ma’am.”

“Okay. Thanks again, Peter.”

She steps into the air and climbs a few levels up, to a nice interview room with the best couch in the whole of the DEO. And she should know. She’s tried all of them.

“ _S_ _he knows my name_ ,” she hears Peter tell one of the other agents with an excited pat and she smiles, hopping over the railing into the room. The agents mostly use it when they need a bit of shut-eye between shifts—the blinds come right down to the floor and mostly block out the sun which is good for daytime breaks. She’s going to be the most unliked person around for this but she picks up the couch and carries it down to the main floor and into briefing room three. 

It’s easy enough to reposition the couch near the whiteboard—it’s not so easy to keep from falling back to sleep.

Kara curls up on the couch. For a second she considers getting a coffee for Lena but decides not to. It’s early, almost six am she thinks, and Lena will no doubt go straight to work after whatever this is. But that doesn’t mean Kara can’t try to urge her into a nap. Which will be easier if she’s not jacked up on caffeine.

When Winn and Alex march Lena into the room, Lena isn’t yelling anymore—she does look angry, in a very reserved, furious kind of way that’s pretty scary, and she looks pale and tired and her hand closes tight over the straps of her purse, but she’s not yelling.

Alex closes the door firmly behind her and steps around Lena, crossing her arms. Her back is to the couch, to Kara, and Kara can only just make out Lena’s face over Alex’s shoulder from her position.

She wants to sit up and announce herself, but a small thought occurs to her and, for reasons she can’t fully explain, she stays where she is. Tucked into the couch, red cape mostly covering her on the red couch, and she sits as still as possible.

Alex looks very serious and so too—perhaps for the first time ever—does Winn.

None of them see her.

Lena speaks first, harsh words with that lovely voice of hers.

“What the _hell_ are you thinking, sending agents to follow me, Agent Danvers? _H_ _acking_ me?” she bites out, looking at Winn who nods down to his shoes. “Treating me like a criminal when I am the one who has been under attack—is that common practice, or are you just grossly lacking in anything like reasonable doubt when it’s a _L_ _uthor_ involved?” Neither of them speak and if anything, Lena grows whiter and more furious. “Forgive me then for thinking I had earned some small degree of trust.”

“It’s not a matter of trust. It’s a matter of proof.”

Lena presses her lips tight together and Kara wants to cross the room. she wants to take Lena’s hand, urge her fingers open from where they dig into her palm. She wants to hold her. But her legs feel leaden and her head feels so _heavy_ and so she lays her head more comfortably on the arm of the couch and watches her, hoping that Lena can feel that kind gaze, at least.

“If you’re trying hard enough, it won’t take any great mind to twist my work into some villainous scheme. I’m all in pinpricks waiting to see what you find,” she sneers. 

“Miss Luthor,”

“Actually, I changed my mind. I have zero interest in being polite or slow about this. Tell me _now_ why I was being followed or I will tap into all that my Luthor name can provide and see to it that you are shut down.”

Alex tilts her head just a little and, after a beat, her crossed arms open and fall to her sides. She shakes her head a little. “You don’t mean that.”

“Just _try_ me.”

“Fine. I don’t trust you,” Alex admits. “Yet. But Kara does. You’re not going to do anything to hurt her,” she says in a masterful combination of confidence and subtle threat. “But fine. I had my agents follow you to protect you. Not to spy on you.” Lena stares at her for a long moment and then her chin tilts up and her eyes narrow. “I’ll swear on whatever you want,” she continues, almost gentle, “but I’d like it if you trusted when I say that Kara thinks and,” she sucks in a breath before admitting, “and I do too, that you deserve protection for a little while longer. Maybe even need it. She’d do it herself in a heartbeat, of course, but she’s sleeping. So I stepped in. Least I can do for someone who means so much to my sister.” Lena glances across at Winn, who hasn’t looked up from his shoes yet, and Alex nods. “He knows.”

“Me?” Winn glances up, looks between them. “Not as much as he would like to know because _someone_ keeps dashing off into danger before she can finish updating me but yeah, I know.”

“Oh.” Lena looks uncomfortable when she shifts. Her flash of anger neatly diverted, she looks drained. She makes herself go on. “They weren’t spying?”

“No, Miss Luthor. They were for protection. If we _were_ spying on you,” she says, and her voice warms into something almost teasing. It keeps it’s edge, though. “You would never know about it.”

Lena stares at her with faintly pursed lips and careful, careful eyes. One finger draws straight, quick lines on the side of her bag where she grips at it. “And the hacking?” she asks them.

“Oh that, er,” Winn raises his hand. “Yeah that was me. I didn’t take anything, I just wanted to check that you didn’t pay for your own assassin.” He trails off, a little uncomfortable with that cool, intent gaze on him. 

It takes a moment for his words to hit but when they do, Lena flinches so minutely it’s not hard to mistake it for another sneer. “Why on earth would I have done that?” she bites out in a tone so furious, the words come out clipped and her mouth is white around her lips, she’s pressing them so tight together.

“We found a transaction from a mystery money man called T. H. ROUL.”

Lena considers that for a second before rolling her eyes. “How charming. And utterly stupid.”

Winn nods. He steps forward—not _close_ to Lena but a little closer and she narrows her eyes at the move. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t think you had. But I had orders.”

“You didn’t.”

“No. Kara made a very convincing argument.”

“She did,” Lena says, just as flat. Kara imagines she hears the curiosity in it still, and Winn must as well because he nods. 

“Yeah. I asked her if you were like, _that_ kind of Luthor and she said absolutely not.”

“That’s it?” Lena asks him. “She says no, and you just...believe her.”

“Basically. She’s trusting, to an extreme,” Winn tells her, quiet and firm, “but she’s usually right. And you’re right. You’ve earned some trust. And a chance.”

Kara feels like crying. His words close around her heart like a hand _squeezing_ , and she nods down onto the fabric of the couch in an effort to keep her tears inside. She can so easily see the openness in Alex and in Winn, the sincerity, and maybe even a little bit of genuine trust from _both_ of them, maybe a little remorse for making Lena thinking the worst. And better, Kara knows how smart Lena is. She doesn’t think Lena could miss seeing it too.

“I...understand,” Lena says. The words are a little cool, but they’re enough to make Winn’s shoulders droop in relief. Alex doesn’t show quite so much reaction as that, but she does nod to Lena. 

“Well hey, okay, let me get Kara,” Winn offers, “and I can show you all what I’ve set up to get this show on the road.”

“No need,” Kara interjects, quietly, and all face her wide-eyed. “Good morning.”

“Ex- _cuse_ me?” Alex snaps. “You’re supposed to be in bed.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” Kara shoots back, and she shuffles her feet out from under her cape and, reluctantly, sets them on the cool floor. She makes her way over to Lena and lays a gentle hand on her arm, just above her elbow. Lena’s grip loosens on her bag and she leans into the touch, just a little. “Good morning,” she says again, to Lena alone. She takes her hand away, drags her fingers lightly down her arm. 

“Good morning.” 

Kara wants to hug Lena—kiss her too, and maybe other tender things like hold her, like tell her she’s sorry she was scared, like wipe the eyelash from her cheek. But Lena still looks stormy so Kara turns instead and lifts her chin to her sister and friend.

“What have you got?”

Still frowning, Alex moves with Winn to get everything set up on his whiteboard. Kara watches for exactly two seconds before she freezes at the feel of a hand slipping into hers. Lena takes a small step closer to her. The bottom of her red coat brushes against Kara’s calf. She wavers closer to Lena in response, incapable of stopping herself.

“You should be asleep,” Lena murmurs. 

“So should you.” Kara drags her thumb, wonderingly, over the back of Lena’s hand. When Lena tilts her head toward her, Kara looks over at her and is met by the most gentle smile. “W-what is it?”

“You’ve got sleep lines. I hadn’t really thought about it but I guess I didn’t think you would.” Lena reaches up, strokes along one line, and Kara feels her skin flush. She wants to lean in, move closer again. She holds still instead, stops her eyes from fluttering closed too. Instead, she contents herself with examining Lena in turn. Tired, yes, and worried. And Kara can still make out beyond those, some faint touch of fondness. For _her_. It eases a great deal of worry that has been building in Kara’s chest, that look of fondness—Lena is looking right at her and her eyes are dark, yes, but _warm_ and Kara imagines that she looks less worried, less afraid, now that Kara is standing with her. 

“You two done over there?” Alex asks them, hands on hips. Winn isn’t looking at them but the back of his neck is flushed. “Winn is going to put up a list of suspects. No surprise, but you may recognise a couple of them.”

When the list flashes up, literally all Luthor’s, Lena stares blankly at Alex for a time before her lips quirk up into a small smile. “Funny.”

“Yeah,” Kara rolls her eyes. “Real funny. You could be a comedian, Alex.”

“I know. But seriously,” Alex continues, “we’d appreciate any insight you could give us, Miss Luthor.”

“Lena, please,” she tells Alex, and Kara feels the lack when Lena’s hand drops from her face. “Let us begin, shall we?”

* * *

“Okay, so I’ve decided to go low-tech,” Winn tells them, and spins the board to show print outs of thirty small faces. He brandishes three whiteboard markers. “For privacy,” he clarifies, with a quick look Lena’s way. “Now. We have Lena.” He taps a marker on her picture and circles her face with a black marker.

“Still under suspicion?” she wonders. “That’s novel.”

“What? No. We only have red and black markers because someone—and I’m not naming any names but it was Kara—let all the other colours dry out.”

“I plead the tenth,” Kara says primly, and crosses her arms. When Winn and Lena just stare at her, she rolls her eyes. “A little alien humour? You all suck.”

Lena’s lips curl upwards and her eyes brighten, just a touch. “Only if you ask nicely. And maybe for a few other exceptions,” she murmurs.

“Uh. Um.” Heat rushes up Kara’s neck and cheeks and she notices that Winn rolls his eyes and turns away from them both. 

“I’m going to finish naming all the rest of these. You two, just,” he flicks his fingers at them in a dismissal.  

Kara scowls at him and nods to the table, where an agent has brought in coffee and sandwiches. Lena practically falls on the coffee and, when she sends Kara a cautious look, Kara laughs.

“I’m not going to take it from you.” She smirks. “It looks like you need it.”

“Oh _harsh_ , Kara danvers. Would you like some?”

“No, I’ll just drink the milk. Coffee makes me jittery.” She takes the jug after Lena pours the tiniest amount into her drink. “Thanks.”

“Of course. Agent danvers, would you like a coffee?”

“Huh?” Alex looks up from her phone. “Yeah, thanks. Winn?”

“Busy.”

They sit in silence for a time, and then Lena lays a gentle hand on Kara’s wrist. “Can I ask you something?” It doesn’t sound like a question to Kara’s ears—it sounds to her like Lena is going to ask it no matter what and that she _needs_ an answer. She nods. “The man you caught. What did he say?”

Kara frowns. “You mean about you, right?” Lena nods. “Nothing. Not really. And even if he had,” she tells her firmly, “I wouldn’t believe him. I wouldn’t act on that. Not everyone is out to get you, Lena.” She waits until Lena relaxes, and then she laughs. “Well, I mean, _he_ was. He definitely was. But most people aren’t. And I’m definitely not.”

“If he didn’t say anything about me, what did he say?”

“Uh, well, the usual stuff I suppose. Aliens are bad, I’m going to monologue for a minute, Supers are bad, humans are morally superior. That kind of thing.”

“Sounds boring,” Lena rolls her eyes. “I hope he didn’t do that for long.”

"It was almost refreshing, actually. To have someone be upfront about hating aliens.” Kara knows she should probably flat out ask Lena how she feels about aliens instead of passively skirting around the issue—because she _really_ likes Lena and she thinks it’ll probably suck massively if Lena doesn’t feel the same. But in the same thought, she wants Lena to know that she trusts her. And she _does_. About Lena, well, about Lena not wanting to kill her. But there’s a small gap between not wanting her dead and actively liking her. Just a little one.

Lena sips at her coffee delicately. Kara offers her a nervous smile and Lena drinks again, and lays a hand over Kara’s.

“Still, I’m sorry you had to listen to such a pile of drivel.”

“Worth it,” Kara tells her, flipping her hand up to tangle their fingers. She traces the back of Lena’s hand with her other. “To make sure you’re safe.”

“Alright sweet talker,” Winn interrupts, clapping his hands down onto Kara’s shoulders. “Back to business. Lena—can I call you Lena?” He beams when she nods. “ _G_ _reat_. Lena, I definitely confirmed that it was a Luthor who made the transaction but all the finances I...absolutely had legal access to...were really entangled.”

“We’re a family,” Lena tells him. “Very interested in keeping our prospects alive. And to use anything just short of fraud to grow our considerable fortune.” He gulps and she smiles a sliver of a smile. “How about I help you?”

“Yes. Yes! Okay, so I wrote down everyone’s names,” he tells them, and displays the whiteboard with a flourish. “You know every Luthor’s name starts with an L?”

“Tradition.”

“It’s creepy. No offense but borderline villainous.”

Kara crosses her arms and scowls at her friend. “You have the exact same name as your evil dad.”

Winn hesitates, before pointing at her. “You have a point.”

“And you have a very good set up here,” Lena tells him, standing and making her way to the board. “May I have your pen?” He pops it into her hand and she makes a few quick marks, dashing through names. She talks as she goes. “Uncles Louis and Luke are _quite_ infirm, and their wives and mistresses like to spend money on themselves not on my demise. Forget about them.” Winn nods, shadowing her as she moves. “Lisa,” she points, dashes through the name. “She’s been living out of my mother’s pocket for years. No money to speak of. Cousins Lisa and Luc and Leia are very distant, haven’t spoken in years. They never even RSVP to anything. Very protective of their money too. It’s not them.”

“Luc and Leia?” Winn laughs. “Really?”

Lena shrugs. “Yes. I think they had an affair too.”

“ _R_ _eally_?”

“God no, but the joke never gets old.”

She dashes through their names too and doesn’t seem to notice when Winn turns to face Kara and mouths, delighted, ‘ _S_ _he’s funny!’_

* * *

“Sorry I couldn’t help more,” Lena tells them much later when they run out of leads. “I wish I could feel like I _have_ helped.”

“Don’t worry,” Kara tells her, and she lays a hand at the small of Lena’s back. “We’ll find them. I promise.” Lena nods and turns into her, wraps her arms around her neck. “Ready to go, then?” Kara asks, just to be sure, and Lena nods. “Winn, Alex, I’ll be back soon.”

She wraps her arms securely around Lena and walks her to the main window. “You mind if we fly from here?”

“No. That’s alright. Home?”

“To your apartment,” Kara agrees. “Unless—somewhere else?”

“Can—” Lena shakes her head. “My apartment is just fine. I think I’ll call Jess. Tell her she doesn’t have to come into work today.” Kara beams and Lena rolls her eyes. “Yes you’ve...rubbed off on me.” It’s Lena’s turn to smile then when Kara falters, falls an inch in the air and holds her a little more tightly. 

“ _Le_ _na_ ,” Kara laughs. 

“Yes, Kara?” she murmurs, and she moves very slightly. An accident, of course, when her nose nudges gently against Kara’s jawline. 

“I think you’re teasing me,” she says, a little shakily, and when Lena laughs against her collarbone, Kara feels dizzy and hot all over and very, very happy. She floats down to Lena’s balcony and lets her go, takes two quick steps backward. “I should go.”

“Must you?”

“I, I think so,” Kara nods. “I need to get back. Make sure this is all over.” She shakes herself out of her dizzy spell and smiles shyly over at Lena. “I want you safe, in a rather selfish way.”

“Selfish? You?” Lena lifts her eyebrows. “I’m intrigued,” she tells her, steps forward to curl her fingers around Kara’s wrist, stroke her fingers. 

Kara fights to keep her head clear. “Very selfish.” She can’t quite meet Lena’s eyes as she admits, as quietly as she can with Lena still able to hear her, “I’m, I like you a lot, Lena. I want you safe.”

Stillness, still fingers and a heart stilling in Lena’s chest, is not the reaction Kara expected, exactly. But it happens.

“You don’t have to say anything back.”

“No, no. Thank you, Kara,” Lena says, and she drags her fingers away and smiles warmly at her. Kara tries not to feel like there’s something missing from that smile, right at the centre of things. “I’m tired,”

“Yes. Rest. Jess will have my head if I tire you out too much.”

“Oh, I don’t share those kinds of details with my personal assistant,” Lena laughs, and she laughs again when Kara flushes. “You be safe too,” she insists, and Kara nods.

She flies low and slow until she reaches the DEO. Winn and Alex are waiting for her when she returns and she slumps into a chair in front of the whiteboard and folds her arms. Alex joins her, scoots her chair right up close.

“So.”

“So,” Winn nods. “You know who Lena left out, right?”

“Yes,” Kara bites. “Do you really think she could?”

All three stare at the board for a while longer before Winn sighs. “Why are we even hesitating? My dad is a literal mass murderer. I think we all know that family doesn’t mean all that much when someone is...like that.”

Alex hauls herself to her feet, lays a hand on Winn’s shoulder. “So we’re in agreement?”

“Well, I have to _prove_ it first,” Winn argues. “Which could take a while.”

“And she knows we’re on her trail so she’ll be careful,” Alex adds. 

“But yes,” Kara finishes. “We’re in agreement.” She stares at the last face on the board and sighs. “Lillian Luthor.”


	15. Chapter 15

Alex lets her get away with moping for only four days before she strides into Kara’s apartment, a sense of purpose dressed in leather. She shuts the door behind her and, instead of responding to what feels like an appropriately indignant “Hey that’s _my_ door, remember!”, Alex just snaps her fingers and points Kara to the couch.

She places her helmet on the kitchen island, taking a moment to steady herself as Kara decides—of her own volition, not because Alex is scary at all—to take a seat on her couch.

“What—”

“No.” Alex spins, points right at her. “No. Don’t. I’m thinking.”

“You barged into my apartment _before_ thinking? You know I have a life, right?” Kara asks, with an annoyed little grimace. The blatant lie is enough to pull Alex closer. She starts to pace the length of Kara’s living room. “And, and things I want to do tonight.”

Alex rolls her eyes. “You’re probably going to help some old lady Gertrude re-shelve books at the public library because it’s so terribly underfunded and then come home with pizza so don’t even _try_ to fool me.” She folds her arms across her chest, looking for all the world like she’s won something, and Kara decides that it’s best not to point out that the librarian’s name is Agatha and she was actually not going to do that at all—she’d been planning on going to the park. and doing some landscaping, which for her is _mostly_ just weeding because the gardeners don’t trust her with the sequiturs. _A_ _nd_ she’s in the mood for noodles, not pizza.

“I wasn’t trying to fool you,” Kara mutters, and she slumps back into her couch. “My plans are totally valid, even if you think they’re boring.”

Her favourite pillow finds its way into her lap. She kneads at it for a moment. Only for a moment, though, because very soon she feels Alex’s intent stare and she stops, peers over at her.

“What?”

“It’s not that they’re not _valid_ , Kara,” Alex pauses. She licks her lips, suddenly nervous. Her weight shifts from one foot to the other and she unfolds her arms, looking uncomfortable and hesitant, and it’s enough to make Kara sit up straight and press herself right back into the couch. 

“ _W_ _hat?”_

“What are you doing, Kara?”

“Um, waiting for you to not be all,” she waves a hand over at Alex. “ _W_ _eird_.”

“Not now.” She looks _nervous_ again and upset. Kara can feel her own heart rate rising to mimic her sisters and, joy of joys, the already unpleasant sensation is joined by a queasy stomach and clammy hands. “With Lena.”

Kara looks uneasily over at Alex. She’s not sure what to do with her hands—she wants to hug her pillow, she wants to fold them tight together because she doesn’t want to buy new pillows or a new couch or table, she doesn’t want to _break_ anything, she wants to press her hands tight to her stomach where it feels like everything has opened up.

“We—dating?”

“We dating,” Alex repeats slowly, and then she nods. “Thought so.”

“Is that not— Are you not… okay with that?”

It takes that, just that nervous little question, for Alex to soften and all her unease to drain away and be replaced by something more solid, something Kara has recognised in Alex since she first crash landed. That something that, whatever it is, makes her the best big sister in the world.

Alex steps around the coffee table and sits on it, in front of Kara.

“That’s not it,” she says. “Truly,” she insists when Kara squints at her, a little suspicious. “Lena is smart and capable and I truly don’t think she’s out to get you, which is a nice change.” Kara blows her cheeks out and nods vigorously her agreement at that. “And you know it’s not because she’s a girl.” She points to her own chest, snorts. “Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Kara allows, but worry pools in her anyway. It feels like Alex is leading to something. “Then what is it?”

Alex touches a couple of fingers to her eyebrow, scratches at the skin at her temple, and then leans forward. Bracing her elbows against her knees, she sighs. “Kara,”

“Uh oh.”

“What?”

“That’s your unhappy sigh. You don’t want to say this.”

“Of course I don’t _want_ to say it.”

“Then don’t,” Kara snaps, because this is too much, and confusing. Because Alex storms into her apartment and doesn’t explain herself and makes Kara feel like something is _wrong_ but she just looks at her like Kara should know and she _doesn’t_ and it’s just—it’s a _lot_ and Kara doesn’t like it. She slams her pillow back into its place next to her with a little fluff of feathers. “Whatever is it, I don’t want to hear it.”

“ _T_ _oo bad_ ,” Alex snaps back. She catches Kara’s eyes with hers—stern and unflinching and _worried_ —and Kara is surprised enough to blink and forget to stand. 

Alex stares at her for what feels like forever, and Kara stirs under that look. Finally, something in Alex seems to flicker and the tension between them drains away, Alex's eyes dropping to the ground. She rubs a hand over her face—Kara rubs her hands down her jeans—and Alex clears her throat. She drags her head up to look at Kara again, hand slipping from where she had been rubbing at her eyes to cover her mouth. 

Through her fingers, Alex asks, "Why haven’t you gone to see Lena?”

The question surprises a tiny laugh from Kara. “Really?” Alex nods. “Um. Okay. I—she,” she glances away. Shrugs. “She’s safe now. And I didn’t think that she would want Supergirl hovering around all the time. She has, y'know," Kara shrugs again, plucks at the corner of her pillow. "A business to run and think about and,” it’s not that she’s _lying_. But it almost sounds like she is. And Alex picks up on it. Of course she does. Kara sighs. “And she hasn’t called Kara either, so...”

Alex makes a small sound, like understanding, like pain. And Kara can’t meet her eyes anymore.

“I.. Jesus, Kara, I don’t know if this is something that’s happened because of this _thing_ with Lena or if it’s been going on for a while, but…” Alex's fingers grip so tight around her own mouth, trying to keep the words in, that where her fingers press on her, the skin is bloodless and white. Kara sits very sit, eyes fixed on her own hands in her lap. “When did you start hating Supergirl?”

Kara doesn’t look up but she can feel Alex’s eyes on her. Like she’s begging Kara to say that she doesn’t hate that part of herself. Well, that she can do.

“I don’t hate Supergirl.” She smiles. It feels fake. 

“Do you…” Alex can’t make herself say it. 

“I _love_ being Kara Danvers,” Kara tells her, pleasant smile freezing into something desperate. "I  _love_ being your sister, Alex." She shifts so they're touching, and feels some of her own tension easing even if the move was meant to reassure Alex. 

Alex taps their feet together and nods, considers that information for a moment. It only takes a moment for her to figure it out. “Kara Zor-El, then?” She lets her hand drop finally and she twists it into the knot of fingers Kara has made of her own hands in her lap. “Hey. Talk to me.”

It’s hard. Really hard. Because she’s not three people, not really. She’s just Kara, and the number of people who really, _truly_ know that is probably exactly one.

Alex.

Maybe two. J’onn always seems to know everything.

Kara lets her hands fall loose and she holds Alex’s hand gently. She smiles at the encouraging squeeze she gets.

“I love my family. I love Kal. Clark. I miss Krypton every day. I just,” she bites at her lip. “I know Supergirl is important and I love being her. But she doesn’t just _go away_ ," Kara explains, pretty sure that no matter what she says, Alex isn't going to be able to really understand. Because at the end of it, Alex loves her and Kara doesn't think she can step out of that to understand what it might be like to not love her, to not know  _Kara_. That thought is everything reassuring in the world, but it may not be much help right now. "All the things that make me Supergirl , they don't just go away when I become Kara again and it’s _hard.” S_ he dares a look over at Alex, who nods but doesn’t speak. “Because she’s a hero, she’s an alien hero, but then I'm just an alien. And I’m...”

Alex waits for her to speak for a while. When Kara doesn’t, Alex asks her, “Is this about what you said after you interviewed Voss?” Kara lifts her head a little, frowns over at her sister. “You said, at least you know Lena doesn’t hate you.”

“We talked about that,” Kara tells her slowly, knowing the uncomfortable shift of her shoulders is a major tell. She's side-stepping, and Alex knows it. 

“Sort of.” Alex eyes her with something like pride, and Kara knows she’s caught. The slippery way of half-lies and avoidance she’s tried to use to hide away from her sister is over and Alex holds her hand a little more tightly. “I asked you then if she hated supergirl, didn’t I?” Kara nods. “I didn’t ask if she hated aliens.” Kara shakes her head. “Does she?”

Kara licks her lips. “No. She _doesn’t_ ,” she insists when Alex narrows her eyes. “But just because she doesn’t hate aliens doesn’t mean that I’m not,”

“Scared. You can say it.”

“Fine! I’m scared! I’m scared that she doesn’t like aliens, not because she wants to hurt me but because she’ll try really hard to like me because she likes Kara but then I’ll fall in love with her, because it’ll be _easy!_  It’ll be so _easy_ to fall in love with her,” she almost sobs, breath catching in her chest. “She’s smart and amazing and so strong and her family is totally messed up and I can't explain how _brave_ she is, how  _good_ she's trying to be, and I’m afraid that I’ll love her and she won’t love me. And I’m so tired,” she cries, and Alex moves quick to sit on the couch with her when Kara's voice cracks. She pulls Kara in against her shoulder, pulls her so Kara's head is tucked in that perfect hollow of her neck that is the most safe, protected place in the world. "I'm so tired of wondering whether I missed my chance. If I'm ever going to get to fall in love with someone who loves me or if that person  _died_."

Alex murmurs something that might not even be words but still sounds comforting, reassuring. Kara lets Alex hold her and she lets herself ache for a home of muted red sky and ground and the words _I_ _love you_ in her natural tongue.

“Maybe we don’t fit," she says, words dull and clunky. "Maybe I’m just _too_ alien. And maybe I’m too much Superman’s cousin. She still doesn’t trust me.”

“Give it time,” Alex soothes. She wraps her arms around Kara’s shoulders. “Give _her_ time.”

“Mm.”

They sit in silence for a little while. Kara knows Alex is thinking about everything she’s shared, but Kara can’t bring herself to think at all. She yawns, and lets Alex pull her more firmly into a hug.

“Have you spoken to Lena about this?” Alex asks her eventually. They've turned on the television—there's some game show on, but Alex has long since muted it and they've both been staring blankly at the screen. Kara shakes her head no. “You reckon you should?”

“Maybe." 

“That’s one fucked up family. I think you need to give her a little time. I’m not saying you can’t be upset,” Alex clarifies. “I saw how she was. Sometimes it was like she only wanted to be near you, with you, touching you. You... She looked the most relaxed with you. Like she knew you were safe and there for her. But then sometimes it was like she couldn’t make herself go near you.” Kara nods. It had felt like that to her too. “She’s had years of Luthor brainwashing.”

“I know.”

“You trust her?”

Kara nods.

“Then I think you should go talk to her. Let her know you noticed. She’ll either try or she won’t and if she doesn’t,” Alex shrugs. “You’re my little sister, and if I have to put her in jail for a night then I’m afraid that’s just what I have to do.”

The faux gravity of the statement makes Kara laugh and she rolls away from Alex, sending her laugh up to the ceiling. It feels good. Brightening, only a little but enough that Kara doesn't feel like gravity is  _dragging_ at her anymore. 

They stay there, Alex's arm around Kara's shoulders, until Kara finally feels settled. 

"Thank you."

“Any time. And hey,” Alex nudges her and Kara grumbles, “ _don’t_ keep secrets from me, okay? I do have a job to do and having to figure out why you’re skulking around really takes time out of my days off.”

Kara gives her a guilty little smile and a shrug. The words click after a moment.

“Day off?” She takes in Alex’s leather, and the bike helmet on her counter, and some things start to fall into place. “Day off, huh? Took your baby out for a spin?” The words sound clunky in her mouth, not _cool_ like the way Alex says it as she pours herself over her motorbike.

It makes Alex laugh.

“Yeah, I went for a drive.”

“Mhm.” Kara folds her arms. 

“What?”

“Anyone go with you?”

“No.” Alex would be a perfect liar except for the fact that alien ears easily hear the way her heart skips over the lie.

“ _W_ _ho was it_?” Kara squeals. “Maggie! Was it Maggie? Did you go with Maggie, was it a date, was it fun, did you have a good time, is she _nice_?”

Alex groans and sinks down into the couch. She hides her face in her hands and groans louder, trying to out groan Kara’s excited babble.

“Does she have a bike too? Did she ride _with_ you on _your_ bike that you’ve never ever let anyone else touch before? Except for your mechanic, I guess? But you never really had a head for engine science so I guess it makes sense that you would need to find someone who could do that for you.” She pauses for a moment. Alex comes up for a breath and Kara starts in again. “Where did you take Maggie, did you go for lunch, did you take her to that beachside restaurant or was it more casual? Did you go for _icecream_?”

“Oh my god, Kara.” Alex’s phone rings from a pocket inside her jacket and Kara squeals, much louder this time. 

“Is that _her?”_

“When did you get this embarrassing?” Alex grumbles, but there’s the faintest smile on her lips when she pulls out her phone and she rolls her eyes and nods. “Yes, okay? It’s Maggie. And yes, we went out today but no, she didn't ride on my bike." Kara waits for a second, patiently, and she's rewarded when Alex flushes a light pink and admits, "She has her own bike.” Alex really can’t hold back her grin anymore and she continues, “We went for icecream.”

Dogs start to bark in three surrounding neighbourhoods from Kara’s resulting squeal.

“Jesus Christ.” Alex presses her tongue to the roof of her mouth and wiggles a finger in her ear. “I’m never going to be able to hear again.”

“Don’t be a baby.” Kara tucks her feet underneath her, beams over at her sister. If both of them realise she may be a little too excited, a little too happy about this newest development for Alex, neither of them comment on it. 

Alex tells her about her day, softly and hesitantly and Kara doesn’t press at all. Not really. She's excited, and tugs answers out of Alex until her sister starts to offer them happily and she stands and makes them both coffee and they lean over opposite sides of the kitchen island and talk about it giddily and happily like it's a high school romance. Alex never had one of those, Kara remembers, and she knows it’s because of this.

“Hey.” Alex tucks her phone back into her pocket, out of photos of her date with Maggie to show off. “Are you going to be okay?”

Kara curls her hands around her mug and she nods, slowly, so Alex knows that she’s thinking seriously about the question. “Yeah. I think I’m going to go talk to Lena.”

“Good.” Still, Alex hesitates. She’s got one hand on her bike helmet but makes no move to pick it up. “Kara,”

“Oh my god, Alex, _go_ ," Kara laughs, shooing her toward the door. "You have a hot second date and as for me, everything is going to be  _fine_." She doesn't know if the double dose of just how fine everything is going to be is for Alex or her. "I will talk things over with Lena and—oh!” Kara sucks in a breath and her eyes slam shut tight against the hot prickle of tears when Alex _throws_ herself at her, wraps Kara in a tight hug. “ _A_ _lex_ ,” she murmurs, and she finds herself being gripped all the more tightly. “What—”

“You are the _best_ person I know,” Alex tells her, voice firm and fierce. “You are kind and gentle and you always, always see the best in people.” Kara feels herself sag a little and Alex curls one arm around her waist and brings the other up between her shoulder blades and she _holds_  Kara. “You told me Astra said you have the heart of a hero and you know I believe that. You know how much _faith_ I have in you, and in your Supergirl. I have seen what you mean to this city and it's important and good but Kara,” Alex hesitates like this is too much, and maybe it is for a night of gossip between two sisters, but this is them and their lives are always anything but normal, average. Kara can feel the press of these words like they have to be said. Have to be _heard_.

She closes her eyes again and curls her fingers gently into Alex’s jacket, nods.

Alex continues. “You’ve got so _much_ heart. For everything you do, for everyone you love. People _know_ , okay? They know how you feel. It's impossible not to feel it. So whatever happens, I need you to know that I love you. Every bit of you.  _Everything_ you are." Kara nods into her shoulder again. "So if, if Lena doesn't—if that doesn't work out, I need you to know that there is  _nothing_ wrong with you. Do you understand me?"

For the third time, Kara nods, and finally the pressure of Alex's hug eases and she slowly steps back. 

Kara wipes under her eyes. Alex holds her by the shoulders and smiles when she’s done.

“And remember, I was serious about that jail time.”

It makes Kara laugh again as she sends Alex out of her apartment and, like Alex no doubt knew it would, it lifts Kara’s heart just enough that the idea of talking to Lena doesn’t seem like it will be the end of her world anymore.

“Alex?” Her sister pauses where she is, down the hall. “People like being brought dinner and stuff, right?” she asks, clinging to the door frame and poking her head just out into the hallway. Alex looks like she’s about to head right back into Kara’s apartment and the only reason she doesn't is because Kara holds her hand up and shakes her head firmly. “Stop, seriously, I’m fine. I _will_ be fine. Just… dinner?”

Alex sucks at her teeth for a second before she gives Kara a jerky nod. “Yeah. _P_ _eople_ would probably love being brought dinner. Especially if _people_ have been throwing themselves into work instead of thinking about their mom.”

Kara squints at her. She tries to hide her smile when she asks, “You’re talking about Lena too, right?” with as much confusion as she can push into her voice.

“What? Yeah, of course I am—oh. Ha ha, a joke. Really funny, Kara.” Alex rolls her eyes and fishes her keys out of her pocket. She hesitates before heading down the stairs and shakes her head, sighs. "Because I'm the best big sister ever, one more bit of advice?" She lifts her eyebrows and doesn't hide her grin at all. "Don’t get potstickers? Unless you think that making her watch you put four in your mouth at the same time is some kind of ultimate seduction.”

“It was on krypton.”

Alex laughs and laughs, all the way down the stairs. 

* * *

She ends up getting pizza—with cutlery and twelve fabric napkins, because Kara might eat with her hands but Lena doesn’t, not over her paperwork anyway—and she only turns back twice before steeling herself and landing lightly on the balcony of Lena’s office.

She considers knocking, but Lena is bent over what look like blueprints so instead, Kara rearranges the bags with the food into one hand and pulls out her phone with the other.

— _hungry? I got pizza_

She watches as Lena’s phone buzzes on her desk and Kara bites her lip, wondering if it’s weird for her to watch. If Lena wants to send her away then she should have that option. Right? And not feel weird about her possible girlfriend lingering outside.

Her worry is pushed aside when she sees Lena pick up her phone and cradle it like it’s precious, when she sees Lena sink back into her chair. From this angle, Kara can _just_ see her smile when she types a reply.

— _famished. how soon can you get here?_

Kara tucks her phone away and raps very lightly on the door.

“That was quick,” Lena comments, pressing a button on a small remote to unlock the door. 

“And that’s more high tech than a key.”

“I got it installed. I figured a few upgrades were in order.” She crinkles her nose and drops the remote into her drawer. Then, adorably and it makes Kara’s knees a little weak, Lena crinkles her nose again and sniffs. “Pepperoni?”

“For you. I got, um, deep dish meatlovers and also a mushroom one. It was new,” she explained. “And I like buying pizza from them. It’s kind of a family business?” she talks as she tries to clear a small space on Lena’s desk.

“Couch,” Lena instructs gently, and Kara nods, leaving the papers where they are.

“I always worry that they’ll flop,” she continues, and she lifts the coffee table easily and sets it down much closer to the couch so they can sit and reach. “Not _them_ , like, not this particular place because it always looks pretty busy. But other businesses like that. I like them. They’re cosy. The big franchises are good but there’s something I like about family places.”

“You’re soft hearted,” Lena says, tugging her pizza toward her. “Could that be it?”

The words are nothing less than fond, and Kara takes in Lena’s warm eyes, her smile, the way she leans in toward Kara when she sits on the opposite end of the couch. 

There are things they need to talk about, but this is the first time they’ve spoken in four days and Kara is determined to enjoy it. They’ll talk later. About  _those_ things. For now, they can talk like adults who are sharing dinner with someone they like. 

The desire to talk lasts until Kara is pauses partway through a complaint about work. She licks at sauce that has dripped onto her wrist, licks up into the palm of her hand because of _course_ she has to get sauce everywhere.

“Sorry, so, I was writing it and about to send it off when—”

“ _K_ _ara_ ,” Lena interrupts her, and Kara looks up into dark eyes and carefully sets down her slice of pizza before Lena can jump her. It's not a wholly fitting verb, Kara thinks, because technically Lena doesn’t _jump—_ she rolls up onto her knees and tugs Kara so that her legs are up on the couch and then she _straddles_ her. So no, she doesn’t jump. 

But Kara thinks her own reaction is similar to if Lena _had_ jumped. Jolted, a little. Surprised.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Lena murmurs, and she eases Kara back against the arm of the couch. 

Kara goes willingly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Lena shakes her head. “Pizza? Talking about our days? You’re _here.”_

“I’m…” Kara nods. “I am. I’m here.”

“We should talk about this.” Lena bends slightly. Her breath is hot against Kara’s cheek and she presses her forehead to Kara’s. A little uneven, she rests mostly against Kara’s right eyebrow, and Kara waits patiently. “Is it bad that I just want to kiss you for an hour?”

“Why would that be bad?” Kara asks her, very softly, and she tips her head up just a little in an effort to catch Lena’s lips. When she pulls back a little, Kara groans and waits. 

“What’s wrong?” Lena's voice is low and amused and Kara pays her back by laying her hands on Lena’s back and pulling her down. A good plan—Lena’s breath leaves her in a rush and she noses at Kara’s cheek, heart _racing._ It’s a bad plan—Lena isn’t the only one affected by the move. “What’s wrong?” Lena asks her again, and Kara’s gesture has done absolutely nothing to knock the amusement from her tone. “That didn’t go to plan?”

“Not exactly,” Kara admits. “Are we going to kiss or not?”

That startles a laugh from Lena and Kara looks at her in time to see something unfamiliar and utterly lovely in her eyes. It makes a strangely spinning world slow into something recognisable—the tiniest, tiniest shift, and Kara feels at home.

Later, she’s sure she’ll feel anxious about it.

She’s already fallen for Lena. Hard. Unable to recover, probably.

But for now…

“Sure, Kara, we can kiss,” Lena laughs, and she closes the distance between them.

She spends zero time on sweet or tender—instead, she heads right for the kisses that make Kara arch up into her hands and it’s an awkward scramble but Kara grips at her hidden zip and Lena murmurs approvingly when there’s suddenly a whole lot more skin that she can touch. “I  _love_ this suit,” Lena says, and she nips down Kara’s neck for punctuation, “but it covers up so much.”

“Chastity belt of steel,” Kara laughs, a little breathless, and Lena grins wickedly up at her before focusing on her collar again and yeah, who knew? She’s wildly sensitive just about everywhere. 

Kara rucks Lena’s blouse up out of the waist of her skirt and slips her hands up Lena’s back. “This okay?” she asks. Lena returns to her lips to give her their first gentle kiss of the night and a very enthusiastic yes.

They don’t go too much further—though, Kara traces every inch of Lena’s back, until she’s shivering, until dragging the pads of her fingers down a small square at the small of her back makes Lena bite at Kara’s lip. Until the kisses Lena drags over Kara's skin leaves her feeling too hot and tingling. Eventually, though, they stop. Lena drags herself back and Kara follows her without a thought, keeping them pressed together. She _likes_ it that way, never wants to go without again, and she sits up to kiss her. Lena smiles into it, wraps her arms around Kara’s neck.

“I have work,” she says, murmurs her apology into Kara’s cheek. 

Kara’s arms tense. This was good.  _B_ _etter_ than good, and she hopes that it wasn’t just on her side. She's afraid, for a moment, that it _was_ just her but then Lena cups her cheeks and kisses her, hard at first—almost desperate, and Kara remembers how awed she was, remembers how she cradled her phone in her hands, how she had whispered her awe that Kara had come to her. Kara kisses her back.

“That’s some goodnight kiss,” she mumbles, and Lena pulls back to laugh. She slips from Kara’s lap, stands a little unsteadily.

In a rush, Kara returns the coffee table to its original spot and she cleans up—folds the napkins Lena used, closes up the pizza boxes, zips herself up and back into her suit, and there really isn’t much else to clean so she stands there, uncertain, until Lena lays a hand on her arm. 

“Thank you. For dinner,” she clarifies. “And for bringing it to me. And for making out on the couch with me.”

Kara can feel her cheeks burning but to her credit, she doesn’t stammer or stutter or lose her words. “My pleasure.” She licks her lips, drags her eyes away from Lena to the clock on the wall. Eleven. She should leave. “Don’t work too hard,” she tells her, and it’s stupid to feel like she’s being kicked out, because she _knows_ that Lena has to work and she knows that it was an impromptu visit, but _still._

She suspects they really should have talked about it. About everything.

“Okay, goodnight,” she says, aiming for cheery, and she’s almost at the balcony door when she hears Lena coming after her. 

“Kara.” She turns back—Lena sounds angry. Lena _looks_ _angry._ “I have a business to run, okay, I’m sorry I can’t spend all my time with you.” She softens a little. “I really _am_ sorry. I would _love_ that.”

Kara feels for the way hurt has shoved stern strength into her shoulders, forcing them broad and commanding, and makes herself calm down, makes herself relax. “No, I understand that, I  _do_ ,” she insists.

“Then,” Lena gestures, confused, to the balcony door. “I’m not, I’m not banishing you. I’m not kicking you out. I just have to work.” She swallows, looks away. “Have I… done something?”

Kara stares at her for long enough that Lena looks back and her face falls a little.

“So I have.”

“No.” Kara sucks in a breath. “We hadn’t spoken. In four _days_. I thought, I thought maybe I had done something wrong? And I wanted to give you space,” she continues, because now that she’s starting, she doesn’t want to stop in case she never tries again and Alex is right, probably, honesty is the best method and if she lays everything in front of Lena now yes maybe it will be too much to handle but maybe it will all work itself out. And now that she’s thinking it, maybe it _will_ be too much, maybe hoping it’ll work out is wishful thinking and reality is going to throw a punch like a prize fighter, but she’s already started and now she can’t stop. “To think about everything that happened and with, with the person who paid Voss. And I didn’t want to crowd you or make you think that I didn’t trust you, or scare you because we didn’t get any hit of a threat in the last few days, and I didn’t want to hang around as Supergirl in case,” she cuts off, a little strangled, and Lena frowns. 

“In case what?”

“I just,” Kara spreads her hands. “I know how you feel about her.”

“About Supergirl?” When Kara nods, Lena’s expression darkens. “And how do I feel about her?”

It feels like a test. It’s absolutely a test. Kara closes her eyes. “You don’t trust her.” She can hear the way Lena gathers her breath for a tirade. She continues. “You think she’s only going to see you as a Luthor because of what happened with Lex, and you think she’s going to take Superman’s side over yours, and you think that she’ll never see how you’re Luthor _and_  Lena.”

“So if that’s why I don’t trust Supergirl, why don’t you trust Lena Luthor?” There is no hint of anger or upset in Lena’s voice.

Kara opens her eyes. For a moment, she just sees kiss-swollen lips and mussed hair. Then she sees the way Lena holds herself back, like they’re already done, and Kara shifts. She tries to open her position so Lena knows that once this conversation is over, she wants to hold her again. There’s no way to know if Lena understands, so Kara just talks. 

“I don’t know who you see,” she confesses. “If you see Kara Danvers, or Supergirl. Or if you see, me?” she says, a little stilted, and Kara touches the very base of her crest for courage. “I don’t know what me being an alien means to you. I don’t,” her voice hitches. “I don’t want it to be a bad thing. But,”

“You’re afraid.”

Kara clenches her jaw tight and then, slowly, nods.

Lena takes a step back and sits on the edge of her desk. She clasps her hands in her lap and watches Kara for a minute.

“I know I’ve been distant. I’m sorry if you thought... I’m sorry if it seemed like that was because of Supergirl. Or your being an alien.” Lena purses her lips before she smiles a tight, unhappy smile. “Maybe it was, a little. I've had all kinds of vitriolic shit poured into my head since I was a child, you have to understand.” A flicker of desperation dashes across her face. “You don’t _have_ to understand. I only mean,”

“I understand.”

Lena calms herself again. “I’m not… accustomed,” she tells her, “to having someone not want something from me. I told you that. And I told you this would be hard for me.”

“You did.”

“I’ve,” Lena looks younger. Kara thinks it has something to do with the way raw vulnerability strips her of her composure. Her face is pale and her lips visibly tremble when she presses them together, trying hard to calm herself. It helps, Kara notes, when she steps forward to sit next to Lena. “I’ve been trying,” she says quietly. “But I suppose I haven’t been trying very hard. Have I?”

Kara considers the last weeks Lena has had, the horrors and the heartbreak of her own mother—of everything that has happened, and she considers that night Lena had come to _her_. And now, tonight. She considers what it feels like when Lena looks at her like she’s special, when Lena lets down her guard enough that Kara can see how she feels.

“We made pretty good progress tonight, I think,” she says, and she sits properly on the desk and swings her heels a little. “Kissing. Talking about trust. Discussing problems.” Kara shrugs. “I don’t want you to be perfect, I just wanted to know that...” She feels her heart lurch a little and, suddenly shy, she ducks her head forward so a curtain of hair falls between them. “That you wanted me. All of me, not just Kara Danvers.”

“I do.”

“Okay then.” Kara lets out her breath slowly. “Well, some _minor_ suggestions then?” She makes her tone purposefully light and Lena looks at her like she knows what she’s doing but she nods anyway. “You could text me back sometimes. And ask me for things? I  _can_ cross the city in, like, a minute so anytime you leave something at home I can get it like _that_.” she clicks her fingers and looks at Lena proudly, tucks her hair behind her ears. “Or if you want to hang out, anytime. All you have to do is call. Or text. Either.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Lena promises. The upturn of her lips is small but it feels _genuine_ and _sweet_ and Kara thinks it’s just enough of a sign that this is going to work. She’s forever being accused of being too much of an optimist but this time, she knows. 

"And from me?" Kara asks her. "I'd feel better if you texted me back, what would make you feel better?" she clarifies when Lena frowns, confused. 

"Me? I—" Lena closes her mouth with a faint click of teeth and she blinks. "Keep," she hesitates and Kara is reaching out to hold her hand before she can think it through. The movement makes Lena nod. "Keep coming to me? I want to know that I'm important to you," she says so faintly that Kara has to strain to hear it. "I liked your texts."

Kara stands and keeps Lena on the desk where she is with a firm press of her hands. She dips her head to catch Lena's lips and kisses her with a fervour that surprises even her. She can't get rid of the idea that Lena might be lonely, sad, that she might feel unimportant, and she knows that it doesn't work like this, that you can't chase those feelings away, but when she cradles Lena's jaw in her hands and kisses her like for that moment she's everything that Kara needs, she thinks it helps. 

"I can do that," Kara promises, and she swallows hard when her voice comes out a little hoarse. She steps away. "Should I?" She points to the balcony, shifts a little awkwardly. "I know you have work and this has been... a lot."

Lena bites her lip. "I'm sorry, it feels strange after everything for you to go."

"But I do have to. Right?" Lena nods. "Okay. I'll text you when I get home," she promises, and she's heard dozens of similar promises after dates and it sends a little thrill right through her. She can't, doesn't _want to_ , halt her beaming smile, or the final kiss she gets from Lena. 

 

* * *

She’s only been gone for a minute when her phone buzzes and she considers waiting until she gets home to look. Something stops her and she pulls her phone out to a message from Lena.

— _take me home?_

The sight of Kara landing on her balcony is answer enough and Lena steps out, locks the door behind her. She’s got her heels in one hand and her bag in another and she laughs when Kara sweeps her up into her arms.

“I’m not overly fond of flying,” she reminds Kara, who shrugs. Lena tries to hide her appreciation of the way Kara’s muscles move under her hand, but Kara smugly notes it. 

“I’m faster than any plane, _and_  I’m practically invincible. You’ll be safe with me. And,” she says, conversationally, “I'm really glad you asked me to take you home because you’ve been working a _lot_. And I know that you have to run your business and it takes more time because of everything that has been going on, but you have to look after yourself, okay?”

Lena clings more tightly to her and nods, laughs into her neck. “Yes, dear," she teases.

“Good.”

At Lena’s apartment, Kara lowers her gently to the tiled balcony and lifts her up again when she shivers. The tiles are cold against bare feet.

“Sorry,” Kara whispers.

“It’s okay.”

They don’t really have to whisper, except that they’re pressed together and all the lights are out and it feels intimate, somehow, even with the whole city stretched out behind them.

“Do you want to come inside?”

Kara thinks about it for a moment before shaking her head no. “You should sleep.”

“That’s not out of the question, but it wasn’t the first thing I thought we would do.”

Lena’s voice is quiet, but it’s so full of promise and Kara can’t do anything except _laugh_.

“Next time, maybe,” she says, still grinning, and Lena steps up closer still to her super girlfriend—and yeah, that term is fitting so much better now for Kara—and she kisses her, slow and hot and so good that Kara thinks she might be melting a little bit. She leans back against the wall of Lena’s apartment, allows herself to be pressed against it, and for a while all she can think about is Lena. Lena warm against her, Lena sighing and that irritated little sound she makes when Kara breaks their kiss to smile, the way her hands urge their mouths back together. 

“I don’t think I can walk,” Kara huffs when Lena finally pulls away. 

“How about flying?”

She grins a little dopily and tells her, “I want to do loops. And corkscrews.”

“Oh?”

“I’m _happy_ ,” she says and this time it’s her turn to kiss Lena. And she does, short and sweet. When she pulls away, she pulls away completely, jumps over the side of the railing and floats level to Lena. But just out of reach because if she doesn't leave now or soon, she doesn't think she will at all. "Goodnight. And _sleep_. Don’t stay up answering emails.” Lena rolls her eyes and nods. “Okay. Goodnight. Bye. I’ll,” she falls a little in the air and laughs, the jolt kicking her nerves out of her system. “It’s your turn,” she calls, and Lena nods that she’s heard her. So Kara spins, and shoots into the sky and if she does one, or maybe ten or so stunts on her way back home well, only she knows that. And several weather helicopters with plenty of footage.

**Author's Note:**

> unicyclehippo on tumblr as well, come along & say hi if you want


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